Apathy

[beatlemantis]

There's been a couple posts on this subject, but I'd love to get more insight on this and how it pertains to an actualized journey. 

For the past 3 weeks, I feel completely debilitated by apathy. My days are short, motivation is next to nothing, and I feel no excitement or inspiration towards my life purpose or doing self-actualization/spirituality work (which worries me greatly). There's no satisfaction in anything anymore - food, entertainment, family time, laughter, meditation.. I am not sure what the trigger to this could be. I do tend to over-do it with improving on myself, and I'm thinking that perhaps I overwhelmed my system to the brink of snapping. 

The thing is, I don't want to slack off on my self-actualization. I have a lot of great work to do, and I am desperate for anything to get me out of this funk. 

I'd appreciate any insight on this, thanks so much. 

[Capethaz]

It seems that you are depressed. Talk to someone close, seek help.

[beatlemantis]

@Capethaz Maybe. Though I have experienced that before and it's pretty discernible from what I'm experiencing now. 

[beatlemantis]

@Captain Flint That's killer advice, I'll listen to that on my walk today. I agree on the mediation, it should be unshakable. Thank you!

[faith]

Actually, if you don't feel like meditating then don't do it. If you don't feel like doing something, just don't do it. If you force yourself to do something, you're not going in the right direction. Just enjoy your apathy. You're punishing yourself because you want to be somewhere else, but you just need to realize that where you are right now is where you need to be. Enjoy these days when you are not doing anything because it won't always be like that. The feeling that you're stuck is only there because you think you're stuck. Just say to yourself, "Things are a little slow right now, and it may continue for days, weeks, or even years. No problem. I will not rebel. I will enjoy."

There were days, weeks when I didn't meditate. You don't need to meditate if you're not motivated. Here is something important: you can't generate motivation. In other words, you can't force yourself to do something. Do you feel satisfied after you forced yourself to go to the gym? Maybe. BUT it's not the same as if you have the motivation to go to the gym. 

Right now your motivation is not to be motivated. Sometime in the future, there will be a new motivation. Maybe after that you'll go back to your apathy, and maybe after that you will have a very productive project, and after that back to apathy we go. That's just life. And your only goal is to realize that none of it is bad. Everything is fine just the way it is. 

[beatlemantis]

@faithful I've been searching for someone to say something like this for nearly a month. Thank you so much. 

[Zephyr]

@faithful I coulnt say it better

@beatlemantis Journal Entry from way back on Depression/Apathy

Concepts/Things I learned from Sufferings:

1. Depression: it only happens when I have resistance while in recovery state. Resistance + Recovery State = Depression. When your body becomes fatigue and your mind goes black and white this is when what I call 'Recovery State' starts.. For me it can last for weeks. I think it's a mechanism that puts us in economy state to conserve energy. This is for you to recover from the backfire you created through excessive exertion of will power, brute forcing, beating yourself, neurotic motivation, etc. This forces us stop Resistance. Resistance is pretty much the 'shoulds' and 'ought to be' that creates this conflict. The more resistance we have and the less awareness we have the more suffering we will likely experience. Especially for a person who don't meditate. When in Recovery State one should be aware of ones resistance. From personal experience recovery state just put me into involuntary awareness/meditative state. For people who never done meditation before this might be a different experience for them. They might add more layers of resistance since they are afraid of not thinking, not doing and just being. This only makes recovery state stronger, and then if one has low awareness  the resistance will get also become stronger. This is why when I am depressed I play a lot of video games and masturbate to escape the recovery state which only is inviting me to the present moment -- to stop doing and just be. So this is suffering at it's finest. Eventually this leads to suicidal thoughts unless if awareness is shone to the conflict. 

Deep inside we all want to choose recovery state over resistance. This is why you can't just go up to a person who has depression and say "just cheer up" because that's not Recovery, that is Resistance. We no longer want to be happy (superficially) but we want to be happy. This is why that person just want to be left alone if he/she is not understood and accepted. Saying "cheer up" just pisses that person. We, as a society are just conditioned to Resistance. This is why depression is not rare in our society. This is why when someone is depressed we must choose understanding and presence rather than trying to fix the external problem that is causing the 'depression' ... Deep inside we want to be more intergrated rather than our problems fixed. 

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Kind of messy but I hope this helps a bit

[Visitor]

@beatlemantis

Apathy usually has a mantra which says something like "What's the point of doing this?"

You have to find your point again.

"Blessed is she who sits on a thumbtack for surely she will rise again".

 

 

[Natalya]

I get apathy from overexertion. Perhaps, you should take a short break (say, one week) and see if you feel any different?

[BMoss]

Go outside, with friends or family if you can. Run or walk - up to you. Music or not - up to you. Try to clear your mind.

To me personally it did bring some relief.

 

Good luck on your journey!