I have been having Glimpses of What Reality Actually Is: Imagination of the Absolute

[nexusoflife]

Over the past few weeks I have been experiencing something very impactful, ineffable and beyond profound. I have been having what I call Glimpses of How Existence Actually Is. They have occurred maybe 5 or 6 times now. I have 11 years of experience with Nondual Meditation, Contemplation, and 8 years of experience with psychedelics (Cannabis, Psilocybin LSD, MDMA and DMT). I’ve also read many books on consciousness, nonduality, etc. These Glimpses of Actual Reality are orders of magnitude profound than any of my most powerful nondual experiences or any of my breakthrough psychedelic experiences. It is something that is beyond experience, beyond words, beyond linguistic description but here I will make an attempt to describe it.

Here is what has been happening. At spontaneous moments when I am simply going about living my life I will get a visceral “feeling” prior to thought, of “how did I get here?” in relation to Life. Within milliseconds flashes of my birth and how I perceived the world as an infant and throughout “my life” will flash into my mind. This is juxtaposed with a complete removal of all sense of solidity. All definitions for objects and concepts are removed. Reality feels entirely like a Mind and all objects and phenomena feel like ideas and thoughts being imagined into being. Almost immediately as this feeling comes up, I also see the entire experience of life to be deeply and profoundly alien. But it also the most familiar and obvious way of being. It feels so factually real. It’s not necessarily “alien” because there is absolutely no sense of separation or other when these glimpses happen. Its just the most profound recontextualization. I immediately realize that all of existence is ephemeral and is a dream that is Imagined. And that I am existence itself and thus I as existence am being imagined right now. That the entirety of everything that ever can be is simply an idea occurring within Infinite Mind and that this, what I am experiencing right here, right now is the Absolute. That this right here, right now is the Ultimate. That this right here, right now is the Godhead. I feel infinite power and ultimate freedom. But it is alien beyond words compared to my standard baseline “human” state of consciousness. In short I go from a human on a planet that sees himself as fundamentally unified with all phenomena; to being Absolute Mind Imagining Infinity.

It’s such a drastically different way of being than what I am used to, than what any of my peak nondual or psychedelic experiences have shown me. It’s so radically Truthful that the illusion of all of this life and existence is seen so completely obviously. Then fear comes up. A visceral primal fear comes up prior to any thoughts. I fear that this will destabilize me and that I wont be able to function if I perceive reality and life like this. And if I cant navigate life then I can’t survive. And so it is this almost immediate somatic fear creates a false separation that pulls me back into the assumed stability of illusion and away from How Existence Actually Is. All of this occurs in the span of 2 or 3 seconds. My consciousness shoots up to infinity then comes back down to human level.

I have reflected on this for the past few days and have come to understand that my fear is ego resistance to Reality. My ego feels threatened on a survival level at directly experiencing the Absolute in daily life and seeing life as imaginary, as an idea occurring in the God Mind. The concern that I wont be able to navigate life while perceiving it this way is understandable, given how drastically different it is compared to the “human” level perception that I’m used to. However I can see that this fear is unnecessary. If this is how reality actually is, If this is the Truth of how existence really is and if this is my direct experience, even if it is very different than what I am used to; why be scared? I care about Truth more than anything. And I choose The Truth even if it means that I can no longer navigate life. However I don’t think this is necessarily a concern. I think the best thing to do is to simply accept and surrender to these God Mind glimpses and open up to them when it comes on. There may be a period where I may be disoriented and need to readjust to a new way of interfacing with life and existence. The more I surrender and accept the process, the more smoothly I will flow into a new more honest and more true way of being. A way of being that paradoxically would enable this imagined individuation to navigate this imagined idea dream of life much more synchronistically, joyfully and effectively. Contrary to the reluctance of the visceral fear, these glimpses of the Absolute are an invitation to living and being in the greatest place an individuation can possibly be. In Truth.

[Leo Gura]

Yes! Yes! Own it! You are God.

This is real Awakening.

 

Edited Wednesday at 06:34 PM by Leo Gura

[nexusoflife]

@Leo Gura Thanks Leo. I watched your video "What Is Reality? - A Radical Explanation" earlier today and it was shocking how much of what you said there corroborates what I have been experiencing recently.

It feels so drastically Alien, so beyond our ability to describe, yet so ridiculously obvious. This is all just an idea, imagined by Absolute Mind. The Multiverse, DMT realms, every event in all of (the idea of) creation is imagined in perception.

This kind of massively radical shift is not what I expected when I set out on this journey years ago. Surprisingly none of my nondual experiences or psychedelic experiences could have prepared me for how viscerally, deeply drastic Awakening is. Its like falling into oblivion and being cradled in loving arms at the same time. Like I said it's beyond linguistic description. 

But it is the Truth. I love it. And I choose the Truth above all else. Because it Is The Truth. It's the only thing that there is.   

Edited Wednesday at 07:11 PM by nexusoflife

[Leo Gura]

@nexusoflife Yes.

.....

And then there's Alien Awakening.

[nexusoflife]

@Leo Gura I read your blog post about Alien Awakening some time ago. That's the fun of this work, it's absolutely infinite! I would love to know what that is like, or at least a hint of what it's like for you. But I don't know how that would affect my process of "general awakening" right now. 

[Ishanga]

4 minutes ago, nexusoflife said:

@Leo Gura I read your blog post about Alien Awakening some time ago. That's the fun of this work, it's absolutely infinite! I would love to know what that is like, or at least a hint of what it's like for you. But I don't know how that would affect my process of "general awakening" right now. 

Interesting, You've just had Glimpses of the Absolute, which seems to be the most profound Experiences of Your life and you want more, how so, what is wanting more and why would You want more when You've already experienced Absolute, and how could there be more if Absolute is Absolute??

Glad You this is happening to You, we need more like You around:)

[Hojo]

Mine too i will see in 10k for like 1 or 2 second. One time i was in bed laying down with 0 light in the room and I moved over my side eyes closed and I saw my room and my hand while moving with my eyes closed and having 0 light. 10 k looks like super fast tiny spinning triangles of light.

Edited Wednesday at 07:36 PM by Hojo

[aurum]

@nexusoflife

Very cool!

Might be a good time to do a retreat where you can let go of human responsibilities for a while. 

[Leo Gura]

7 minutes ago, Ishanga said:

why would You want more when You've already experienced Absolute,

The real question is, Why wouldn't you?

Only a fool doesn't want more Consciousness.

[Ishanga]

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

The real question is, Why wouldn't you?

Only a fool doesn't want more Consciousness.

I agree, we are built to want more in all areas of life, just when it comes to this Absolute stuff what is more than that?? 

I've never had that Grand of Experience as the OP states, but he did say it was glimpses, I've heard of that happening, like samadhi states, which are sort of Glimpses I guess... Tricky to navigate for sure when all You know is shaken to the bone, then what to do!!!

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, nexusoflife said:

It feels so factually real. It’s not necessarily “alien” because there is absolutely no sense of separation or other when these glimpses happen.

Nice "report". I enjoyed reading it; BUT and there's a but (for me), because you KNOW there's 'no sense of separation', there's still a you that knows this and therefore this glimpse cannot be "beyond an experience" as you said it was.

[Davino]

@nexusoflife Yes, this corroborates with my Awakenings as well. Congrats!

I have a fun exercise for you. Next time you become that conscious try to grasp how far does the universe extend in all directions, like trying to feel the edge of the universe. In my journey I discovered that the spatial 360° degrees of awareness gave GodMind a beautiful profound shift. It's like illuminating the blind spots in the whole field of Consciousness.

[nexusoflife]

@Ishanga Existence is infinite. Therefore The Absolute is infinite. And so there is always more for an individuation to discover about the Absolute. I feel like it would be arrogant of me to ever reach a final endpoint and feel that there isn't anything more for me to learn. I also have a lot of fun learning / remembering this.

[Osaid]

Anything other than the truth would have to be false (resistance). ❤️

Nothing real can be lost, thoughts appear as if there is what is unreal (other than reality or the truth).

Edited Wednesday at 09:04 PM by Osaid

[nexusoflife]

@Hojo That is indeed an interesting altered state of consciousness. But what you describe seems to be phenomenological in nature. Let me know if I'm wrong. What I am discussing is prior to phenomena, the substrate in which all of existence arises within. Pure, empty, formless and full imagination. Pure Mind that creates "me" as a form in "your" experience right now. 

[Hojo]

@nexusoflife I think I am talking about after that. Awakening is like deep sleep coming up to you while you are 'awake' and you say holy shit this is it. How can this be here while I am awake and you say this is God. Like walking around thinking you are a human and then the state of deep sleep comes to you while you are conscious that your life is happening and it says Hey there friend its been a long time and there is nothing else to say but holy shit. You notice all your thought processes instantly cease but you still see that you are there. The relief of the thought processes shown to be non existent and wrong is like being relieved of everything you were scared of.

 

What you are talking about is prior to phenomena yes. I just was talking about other glimpses, I didnt know which you were referring too.

Weird stuff start to happen after that. 

One day I woke up and I couldnt find myself in my perceptual field. I was looking around and I knew something should be there but I didnt know what it was. I think this is more of what you were talking about.

Edited Wednesday at 09:32 PM by Hojo

[nexusoflife]

@aurum I was actually thinking about doing a retreat for a few weeks or a month. But I don't want to go into it thinking that "I will raise my consciousness if I do this". All of these Glimpses of The Absolute have happened when I am just living my life. Cooking something, just sitting around, walking, etc. It's never been during meditation or intentional. In fact when I have meditated to cultivate such states it paradoxically pushes it away because to want anything is to create an illusory duality.

A retreat still seems enticing though because if I do fully and completely surrender and open myself to these glimpses of The Absolute; then like I said there may be a period of time where I am disoriented and and readjusting to a new way of being and having a calm and stable environment free of responsibilities while I readjust would be beneficial.

[nexusoflife]

@Ishanga I have several past peak nondual experiences in the 10 years preceding these glimpses of the absolute that people would label as Samadhi. These have been the result of meditation and contemplation. I also have several profound breakthrough psychedelic experiences where my consciousness has touched the Godhead. I have written up and posted several of these nondual and psychedelic experiences in my profile if you'd like to read them.

[nexusoflife]

@Princess Arabia During these glimpses I do not exist. I never existed in the first place. That is made beyond clear. I wrote up this several days after my last Glimpse of The Absolute and so an ego self was present to write it. Even if these glimpses remained over several hours or days there would still be memory (imagination) of how the previous way of being was and so a reference could be made. And in order to navigate this dream of physical life in any capacity whatsoever an ego is absolutely necessary. Illusory forms cannot be interacted without an ego structure. Ego and the Godhead are one in the same upon realization. But language itself represents a huge challenge in describing how Reality actually is.

[nexusoflife]

@Davino Thank you for that. Trying to feel the edges of the Universe. I like that. That sounds like a really useful exercise. I will explore it and see what happens.