Huge Decision - Follow My Bliss Or Go The Safer Way

[Leon]

Hey guys, 

I'm at a really low point in my life. 

I'm 20 years old, currently living in Germany and all I want is to move to Australia. I just came back after spending a year in this beautiful country on a working holday visa, met amazing people, made friends and fell in love with an amazing girl. Being forced to leave this country, my friends and my girl was extremely tough and I still cry about it a lot. Now I'm in this grey winter of Germany and I hate my life. I feel miserable and hopeless. I hate living here.

 

The easiest option for me to immigrate to Australia would be studying engineering there and applying for permanent residency through the skilled migration program as they are in need of engineers. At least I would get a chance, as long as they still need them when I graduate and I pass all the tests and requirements. I would have to borrow the money from my dad, which would be a huge investment and risk. Because what if I don't make it, or I won't get my permanent residency? 

Now that I'm looking at the fees for international students my plan of going this way about my immigration doesn't seem to work and my dream seems to be destroyed. It would be extremely expensive, just so I can study something I don't like, to get a CHANCE (which is not certain) to get permanent residency. I'm not interested in engineering, neither am I in studying at all. I would just do it to get permanent residency.

 

What I actually want is build online businesses, travel the world, live in different countries and be as independent as possible. I want to spent a lot of time in Australia with my friends, but also travel the world and one day settle down there. 

Now, what I also could do is say fuck studying in Australia, that's too much of a risk and I don't want to study engineering. I will build an online business now, go all in, put in really hard work doing what I want to do, to the point where I can get tourist visas (3-12 months) to live in Australia temporary, and one day settle down by marrying. Another thing I could do is build a business there or invest in businesses to get permanent residency, but you need to be extremely successful (really really successful). The question is - should I do that? Should I go this way? Will I make it? Will I be happy?

 

Why is life so complicated? I'm very confused, miserable and depressed. This is such a huge decision for my life and I just don't know what to choose. I'm having sleepless nights over it.

Option A: Study Engineering in Australia which I don't like, get into huge depth with my dad and only get a chance to move there

Option B: Go all out in building online businesses, learning, thinking big, spenting time there on a tourist visa (hope that's possible) and one day in the far future move there by either marrying (which I don't want as well) or building an incredibly successful business or investing 7 figures successfully into businesses (extremely hard and out of my reality so far).

 

I know that if I take option B that would create huge leverage on me and I will have to evolve so much to reach it and option A would be the safer way, but I don't like studying engineering and I hate having the risk of it all being a huge waste of time and money if I don't get a PR. 

In the end, I want to create an extraordinary life anyways, so why not choose the path that's harder but forces me to grow more?

 

Sorry for the long post. I would love to hear your opinion on this. 

Edited February 15, 2016 by Leon

[Henri]

There are not two options, but countless ones.

When you would have traveled to, lets say, New Zealand at 20 you would have been fallen in love with another woman. No doubt.

First you have to relax my friend! Don`t make mistakes you gonna regret a little bit later on the road. Save some money and take your girl for a travel of, say 6 months.  A lot of other options will arise.

And never forget, it`s rare to find a soulmate at 20! Also rare to find a life-job at 20! And stupid to make a lot of debts. Keep the freedom!

[Leon]

Sorry I made it sound like that. It is absolutely not about the girl.

It is all about the better way of life in Australia. I just love the good weather, the amazing scenery, I want to surf in the evenings, have a barbecue on the weekend on a sunday night with my friends wearing a t-shirt, I want the great opportunities it provides.

The girl is a factor why I'm feeling so miserable at the time, but she is no reason why I want to move there. 

[Dhana Choko]

Why do you want all of this?

[Leon]

7 minutes ago, Dhana Choko said:

Why do you want all of this?

It's the life that I envisioned for myself.

 

Going outside, enjoying nature, taking deep breaths and being able to do something is so important to me. Australia is amazing for that. You have great weather, tons of opportunities and just a better life. That's what it comes down to. 

Just seeing what the lives of the locals there looks like just made me realize how much better they have it. They don't even appreciate it, but I see the value in it. They are just so much happier. 

 

Germany is so grey, cold and miserable. Right now, everytime you step outside you just feel bad. What a huge limitation that is for your life - having to stay inside.

The life in Australia is better - period.

Edited February 15, 2016 by Leon

[Dhana Choko]

What if you just cannot get what you envision?

[Leon]

1 minute ago, Dhana Choko said:

What if you just cannot get what you envision?

I think there is always a way. 

 

And if there isn't, I would be crushed. 

[Henri]

 Oh mate, yearning for the good life, are you?!

Join the club, haha....

What can I say, follow your dreams. But for sure I am not gonna tell you what to do, it`s all up to you!

I have traveled the world for twelve years, Australia is great. But I`m telling you; there are even greater places! Haha...

Good luck my friend!

[Dhana Choko]

Just now, Leon said:

I think there is always a way. 

 

And if there isn't, I would be crushed. 

So basically if you don't get what you want, you will be crushed. What happens to you then?

[Leon]

1 minute ago, Dhana Choko said:

So basically if you don't get what you want, you will be crushed. What happens to you then?

I wouldn't have the life that I want and I would have to accept it.

 

[Ayla]

@Leon

In my life, I've been at the point that you're describing more times that I care to remember.  

What I've realized in the end, is that happiness cannot be found externally. I'll just give you two of my own examples: 

1. Had a well paid job, good friends, everything a person could want (from external point of view). I was so depressive though, couldn't leave my bedroom for 8 months 
2. Left everything behind and moved to a place one could associate with biblical paradise - very difficult life there too... 

My point is, no matter what outer circumstances you manage to build together, if YOU are not happy with who you are inside, everything in your reality will slowly but surely start to match your internal "vibration". 

So, ground yourself. Take some time to get perfectly OK with where you are right now. Only from that state you can make a valid decision  

[Rito]

Well,strike out option A entirely as engineering is not something so easy that you can finish it at the drop of a hat.If you don't like it ,it will make your life hell.So it is not the easier option.

Building an online business sounds to me like the better alternative.

But my friend why are you fixating on Australia like this?You think that it is the life you envision but I think you're mind is playing tricks on you.Life isnt all barbecues and surfing.I think you have developed a unhealthy obssession where Life without australia isnt simply worth living for you.Trust me one day you get tired of it as well.This attitude is going to make you suffer and it has made you suffer already.Start looking inwards.

Focus on yourself more and try to build a stable online business.The effort you put in now is going to pay you off later.

I used to feel the same way towards emigrating to Germany,I really broke down when I didn't get TU München  so I totally get what you are going through.But then I achieved maturity and understood that life won't stop and this is really an unhealthy fixation.Work on your online business,go all out on it and then readjust your goals again.

[Leon]

@Ayla I like this advice, because I know exactly what you mean, I've been there before.

If only I wouldn't be a virgin anymore, I'd be happy -> Had sex with 8 girls in a year, still feel miserable
If only I would travel Australia for a year, I'd be happy -> Felt very miserable during that time too even though it was amazing
If only I had more friends to hang out with, I'd be happy -> I many big circles of friends now, still feel lonely and unhappy

That's one of my main focuses at the momet, becoming happy on the inside. I'm writing my gratitude journal daily, I try to stay positive about my future every single day, I meditate daily, I do visualization daily, I work out a lot, I'm in amazing shape, but I still need to work on that.

 

I'm sure that it won't make me happy unless I handle my unhappiness right now. But sill, I'd rather be happy in Australia than happy in Germany. Maybe I'm just too stubborn to see that I'm still in this cycle of trying to find happiness externally, but I just believe that Australia is better, and if I want to make the most out of my life, I should move there.

[Ayla]

@Leon

I'm not sure the visualizations and "positive attitude" is the right way to go about this  

Think about it like this: Let's say you have 100 wagons of (s***) repressed hidden trauma that you are trying to move about with one single locomotive... Look what's in those wagons and get rid of as much as you can before moving one step further. 

 

[Leon]

@Ayla It's funny. When I think about it, I actually feel like there is no way I could be happy here right now, even though I logically know I have to.

I have this terrible habit of looking at other people's lives and their circumstances and comparing my happiness to theirs. It's soul sucking.

Seeing pictures of my friends hanging out at the beach or hearing how my girl is going on a road trip for the weekend with her friends just makes me look at myself in this miserable cold, being in a new city, knowing no one and feeling super lonely and depressed. I know it's just dumb thinking that.

Edited February 15, 2016 by Leon

[Ayla]

Here's a cue for ya:

When you think you WANT something but reality shows you that exactly that thing comes with too much of a burden

OR

When you HATE something that reality points you towards as being the sensible thing to do.. 

There is only one choice: STOP and GO INSIDE! Your aim is not to be happy for now. It is to know who is the One who wants that!  

WHO 

ARE

YOU

Leon? 

Answer THAT one FIRST ! 

 

[Rito]

9 minutes ago, Leon said:

@Ayla I like this advice, because I know exactly what you mean, I've been there before.

If only I wouldn't be a virgin anymore, I'd be happy -> Had sex with 8 girls in a year, still feel miserable
If only I would travel Australia for a year, I'd be happy -> Felt very miserable during that time too even though it was amazing
If only I had more friends to hang out with, I'd be happy -> I many big circles of friends now, still feel lonely and unhappy

That's one of my main focuses at the momet, becoming happy on the inside. I'm writing my gratitude journal daily, I try to stay positive about my future every single day, I meditate daily, I do visualization daily, I work out a lot, I'm in amazing shape, but I still need to work on that.

 

I'm sure that it won't make me happy unless I handle my unhappiness right now. But sill, I'd rather be happy in Australia than happy in Germany. Maybe I'm just too stubborn to see that I'm still in this cycle of trying to find happiness externally, but I just believe that Australia is better, and if I want to make the most out of my life, I should move there.

I feel that you are trying to fullfil some void,some piece that you are missing in the puzzle of life.You would be wrong to assume that Australia is the missing piece.Make some  money and travel to Australia again for a year on a tourist visa.Eventually you will out grow your maddening desire for Australia and will be able to move on.

And mediate and mediate,work on yourself.Cause if you don't fill that void your misery won't end.Maybe it's Australia now.10 years later it will be something else

[Leon]

@Rito

I know that that could be it. 

But what if not? What if my life would actually be better there? Way better? I really want to live the best life possible.
Everyone who has been to Australia totally agrees with me on this. Life is just better there.

I know I'm still young and I have so many more things I should experience first before making a huge decision like that. Now I just wanna know how to go about it. I know I have to work on being happy now, but the goal is set. I want to settle down there. 
 

[Rito]

22 minutes ago, Leon said:

@Rito

I know that that could be it. 

But what if not? What if my life would actually be better there? Way better? I really want to live the best life possible.
Everyone who has been to Australia totally agrees with me on this. Life is just better there.

I know I'm still young and I have so many more things I should experience first before making a huge decision like that. Now I just wanna know how to go about it. I know I have to work on being happy now, but the goal is set. I want to settle down there. 
 

You are right,it could be better.I am not saying that it is bad and should never follow your dreams.Definitely could be better.And Hundreds of other things could be More better.Life in a Hawaiian Island could be even better.Life in Philipines could be better than that too,you can just be in your shorts in the beach sipping pinacoladas and working from your laptop while Hot Masseuses give you a relaxing massage.Being the President of the US could be even better.

You have to stop at one point.Settle down.The problem is not with Australia.It is with your thinking process that could bring you misery.You want to have the best life possible when infact attaining the best is like running after the mirage in a desert.The closer you get the farther the "best life" would evade and elude you.You will never achieve lasting peace and satisfaction,and would run about like mad man here and there for the better life.

I am not saying that you should not have goals and high targets.It is just that they should not dictate  you,have absolute power over you.

Good Luck Mate,Live long and Prosper in Australia 

Keep me posted on what happens.

Edited February 15, 2016 by Rito

[Leon]

@Rito

My studies would start in February so I still have a whole year to think about it and work on my business, which I'm doing right now. 
Maybe I would like engineering, who knows. I still have a lot of time, but just the uncertainty of my future is what sucks the life energy out of me and makes it hard for me to be happy.