Depersonalization?

[ZX_man]

Hey all. I'm 19 years old and have been on the spiritual path for about a year now including consistent meditation recently more than ever (up to 30 min sessions) . I've begun to notice feelings of depersonalization. The world seems to be in an almost haze, and nothing seems anywhere near as real or significant as it was throughout my previous years. 

Is this a common thing to encounter on this journey? Should I be worried and/or consider professional counseling?

Thanks

[Leo Gura]

Well... it's true that the world is not real and not significant. That's called awakening. You don't need professional counseling. Professional counselors need awakening.

So what exactly is the problem?

[JustinS]

@ZX_man This too shall pass. Keep your meditation practice.

[ZX_man]

@Leo Gura Like I said, reality seems hazy. It's causing a lack in motivation for everything (though I continue to maintain my meditation practice). I don't feel love for others or for myself really. I don't feel connected to any other people. I don't really see the reason to keep living (though I don't contemplate suicide). 

I guess I look at enlightenment as the only way for me to get fulfillment again. But from what I understand enlightenment shouldn't be something you actively strive for.

[Joel3102]

I'd be careful about jumping to the conclusion that you're experiencing depersonalisation just because the world is starting to seem a little less real.  I've dealt with DP and it's really not related to spirituality as much as some think imo, it's a dissociative symptom in response to anxiety. Do you have any anxiety issues? If it is depersonalisation, don't worry about it because ruminating over the feeling will just allow it to persist.  

[ZX_man]

@Joel3102 Is DP a temporary thing?

I do have slight anxiety.

[Joel3102]

@ZX_man Usually temporary. 

[Dodo]

So I watched a video on Depersonalization, it sound like negatively interpreted enlightenment?

 

 

Depersonalization is probably a problem, because the person is still there...

If there trully is no person, there wouldn't be anyone to suffer  

Edited May 14, 2017 by Who_Am_I

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, ZX_man said:

@Leo Gura Like I said, reality seems hazy. It's causing a lack in motivation for everything (though I continue to maintain my meditation practice). I don't feel love for others or for myself really. I don't feel connected to any other people. I don't really see the reason to keep living (though I don't contemplate suicide). 

I guess I look at enlightenment as the only way for me to get fulfillment again. But from what I understand enlightenment shouldn't be something you actively strive for.

Notice how all those things are concepts... monkey mind really. Is there any problem with just being? If being is not enough for you, it's cause your mind is chattering away in the background without you noticing it.

"I need motivation" << monkey mind

"I need to feel love for other people" << monkey mind

"I don't feel connected to people" << monkey mind

"I need a reason to keep living" << monkey mind

"I want a way to get fulfillment" << monkey mind

"I..." << monkey mind

Become mindful over all the above, and fulfillment will be the natural end result of simply being.

Sit, be, enjoy. If being isn't enjoyable for you, that's something to work through. Spiritual purification is required there. It can take many hours of sitting before it becomes enjoyable. But start to notice that mere being is highly enjoyable. It doesn't require any adornments.

Spend some number of hours just practicing enjoying the act of existing. If you want to catalyze that process, take some AL-LAD or mild psychedelic. It will show you the beauty of mere existence.

You don't need anything at all. Not love, not fulfillment, not a reason to live, nor any such made up human nonsense. Just be and enjoy.

[ZX_man]

@Leo Gura

Thanks for the response Leo <3 It helps a lot

[nightrider1435]

Coming from someone around your age, I can see where your coming from. All I can say is, it's a big adjustment to take in because you have never been use to seeing reality this way, it will take time but you will start to come around.

Edited May 14, 2017 by nightrider1435

[Guest username]

15 hours ago, Joel3102 said:

I'd be careful about jumping to the conclusion that you're experiencing depersonalisation just because the world is starting to seem a little less real.  I've dealt with DP and it's really not related to spirituality as much as some think imo, it's a dissociative symptom in response to anxiety. Do you have any anxiety issues? If it is depersonalisation, don't worry about it because ruminating over the feeling will just allow it to persist.  

I've heard Shinzen Young talk about the Dark Night of the Soul including DP/DR, but DNotS is actually much rarer than is claimed, so I think you're accurate here.

Here's a vid if you're interested:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zIKQCwDXsA

[jack k]

Yeah, I've dealt with depersonalization as well. its tough and can get very fucking strange. basically I had an experience where I was playing basketball with my buddies and all of a sudden it felt as if i were on an alien planet. And i remember just looking at "their" bodies and they looked like straight up organisms is as best as i can explain it. I couldn't really interpret language and it was basically just sound coming out of their mouths. their arms looked like tentacles and hands and fingers don't even get me started. I couldn't look at my own hands without getting intense anxiety for a while so i went home and just tried to close my eyes and nap it off. Couldn't look at my own mother btw. Id say it was a mystical type experience though, i had no clue one could see the world this way. 

But yes, it does go away. keep meditating.  I think its just when you see the truth of reality and your conditionings slip away for a second your ego freaks out and since you feel like you're a separate self the world then feels alien.