Why is Sexuality so Weird?

[Nemra]

To me, it seems that dynamics that you think are good for sexuality are the opposite for other domains of life, like control, fantasy, manipulation, etc.

E.g., I would love being objectified or controlled in a sexual context, but I would hate it in all other domains of life. It seems like there's a disconnect between sexual preferences and everyday values. But why?

[The Crocodile]

It's really complex and based on complex dynamics of the play of forces happening in consciousness/reality, but you could sort of simplify it by pointing out how the sex instinct is related to the nerves and nervous system of various parts of the body getting touched and perception related to that.

The mind that thinks, the intellect, is different from the imagination, which is different from pleasure, which is different than pain, which is different than physical matter like rocks, and yet all of these principles interconnect.

The mind may think one thing, the genitals will feel another, though they may have a relationship. The most physical solid part of the body like the bones will have different material sensations and mental feelings associated with it than the currents of energy going through the nerves in the genitals.

[Nemra]

@The Crocodile, the thing is that I wanted to know and understand the truth about myself, and now it's confusing on how to frame it.

[Hojo]

Im going to say the desire goes way back to animal kingdom. Domination is the law and sometimes it spawned new emotions of safety and love. This world is very much alone and when something dominated your ancestor it found safety. Every single action taken is taken by an ancestor.

I was talking to a co worker and she was telling me that her daughters were doing a specific thing that she did to her mom when she was a kid. When she was a child she would apparently stick her ear to her moms lung from the back and listen to a clicking. She was telling me her daughters were doing that to and it reminded her of when she would do it to her mother. The question is are your actions/desires actually your relatives repeating through your dna and body.

In this situation the mother is actually listening to her own heartbeat in another body if you understand, because the daughter did not come up with the idea to listen like that the mother did.(or her mother and so on)

Sex is so violent in nature. In society not so much but its in our DNA for it to be violent. Your father raping a woman and liking it leads to you having knowledge and fetish of raping women, and exponentially increases your chances of doing it because our relatives literally live through us in the way they moved and used their body.

Human Woman the weaker sex had to develop a survival mechanism around sex because they were being abused so much. They used their violence as a weapon against men in an insane intellectual move and left man stunned and confused. Then they showed him loss and fear and tamed him.

The woman showed the man what he was doing and that he existed and was doing it.

As to why its cause your mom or dad or grandmother or grandfather wanted too and did weird things. Lifes got nothing to do with you you are just watching judging your ancestors.

Edited 23 hours ago by Hojo

[Husseinisdoingfine]

Because you've been conditioned to think its weird by the society. There's nothing intrinsically weird about it. 

[The Crocodile]

32 minutes ago, Nemra said:

@The Crocodile, the thing is that I wanted to know and understand the truth about myself, and now it's confusing on how to frame it.

You could imagine some kind of duality where a Trump-like businessman as a mental identity or egoic fixation likes to dominate the scene in the business world, but when it comes to sexual desire likes getting spanked, because he's tired of being a "person" dominating society so needs some way to relax his ego enough to experience a letting go of that.

That's a stereotypical example but the dynamics are a lot more complex.

[Schizophonia]

21 hours ago, Nemra said:

To me, it seems that dynamics that you think are good for sexuality are the opposite for other domains of life, like control, fantasy, manipulation, etc.

E.g., I would love being objectified or controlled in a sexual context, but I would hate it in all other domains of life. It seems like there's a disconnect between sexual preferences and everyday values. But why?

The less anxious you are, the less paranoid/reactive tendencies you have, the more sexually dominant you will be; and vice versa.

Normally men choose to be dominant but sometimes if they have mental issues I guess their libido and self-concept can lean towards submission.

I have very dom fantasies; I think I'm nice but I'm rarely anxious or 'sorry', I can possibly be more angry if things go wrong.

Edited 16 hours ago by Schizophonia

[Nemra]

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

The less anxious you are, the less paranoid/reactive tendencies you have, the more sexually dominant you will be; and vice versa.

I don't agree.

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

Normally men choose to be dominant but sometimes if they have mental issues I guess their libido and self-concept can lean towards submission.

If it's not the norm, it's not automatically a mental issue. Also, it's not your choosing.

However, I was talking about how sexuality is too different. Like, you wouldn't go dominating the world politically, would you?

[The Crocodile]

11 minutes ago, Nemra said:

If it's not the norm, it's not automatically a mental issue. Also, it's not your choosing.

It was his choosing. He was describing what happened with him and projected it onto you. He likes injects testosterone into his balls and ivermectin into his eyeballs to be more of a "man". Like he has galactic He-man Nordic space chad as his profile picture but he's just a little French boy.

Quote

Like, you wouldn't go dominating the world politically, would you?

Yes, I want to take over the world.

Edited 14 hours ago by The Crocodile

[Nemra]

@The Crocodile, I kind of get your point. I'm often careful not to use, manipulate and gaslight people. But ironically, I would find it arousing that it's done to me in a sexual context.

I want to know whether I am a hypocrite or not seeing the full picture.

Edited 14 hours ago by Nemra

[Nemra]

14 minutes ago, The Crocodile said:

Like he has galactic He-man Nordic space chad as his profile picture but he's just a little French boy.

😅

14 minutes ago, The Crocodile said:

Yes, I want to take over the world.

🤔

[Basman]

Teal Swan has a bunch of videos on sexuality and how it relates to one's inner world, trauma, etc. The crux of her argument is that the underlying emotion of a particular sexual desire is something which you wish to manifest in real life as sexuality is a "creator energy". For example, she explains pedophilia as the desire to manifest one's innocence, hence the attraction to kids who are innocent. If you have a sexual desire to be dominated then perhaps what you wish to manifest is the experience of being freed from having to take responsibility for your current life.

It is an interesting idea which I intuit has some merit and can at least offer explanations to certain sexual desires, whether or not they are true.

Edited 14 hours ago by Basman

[Xonas Pitfall]

Because it’d simply be impractical.

If you enjoy being submissive during a sexual act - whether it lasts 5 minutes, 10, 30, an hour, or more - it can be pleasurable within that limited timeframe. But if you enjoy being submissive to someone in real life - giving them control over your finances, your decision-making - while having zero clue if they have your best interests in mind, that would eventually ruin you.

Fantasies are guilty pleasures. They're still pleasures. Letting someone control you can feel good because it removes the pressure of decision-making - you can just let go and enjoy the moment. Being reduced to an “object” can be pleasurable because it taps into something taboo, rebellious, or naughty; it's freeing. Perhaps your purpose feels clear, and everything is simplified.

They’re called “guilty” pleasures because living like that all the time would be impractical. You have to manage your own survival, and most people simply aren’t trustworthy or reliable enough to hand over that kind of control.

It’s like watching dumb, reality-TV drama shows - they can be fun and relaxing from time to time, shut your brain off and help you relax, but if that’s all you ever consumed, you'd become retarded and uneducated. If all you did was scroll through brainrot social media, you’d be unproductive. But in small doses, those simple pleasures can be enjoyable. The same goes for sex and fantasy. Therefore, it’s not purely about sex or fantasy - it’s more about our desire to indulge in pleasures while also having to manage survival and other conflicting desires. Although I might've taken this question and answer too simplistically, feel free to add onto it.

That being said, there are people who carry the fantasy into their real lives. You can see this in interviews on the YouTube channel Soft White Underbelly, where couples and individuals talk about living more hardcore BDSM, domination, and submission lifestyles. But those kinds of dynamics usually require a lot of communication, preparation, clearly defined roles, and safety nets in case the relationship breaks down. Without that structure, it can turn extremely toxic for one or both people involved.

[Schizophonia]

8 hours ago, Nemra said:

😅

I like @The Crocodile capricious energy, it’s hot😏.

 

Edited 5 hours ago by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

8 hours ago, Nemra said:

Like, you wouldn't go dominating the world politically, would you?

I'm not very interested in politics. If I were to get involved in politics, it would be to please people, for the country.

[meta_male]

58 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

I like @The Crocodile capricious energy, it’s hot😏.

From dom phantasies to submission after a couple roasts, that's range brother.

 

[Schizophonia]

14 minutes ago, meta_male said:

From dom phantasies to submission after a couple roasts, that's range brother.

You don't think like a man.

A girl trying to roast me like that can be exciting because it makes me want to « correct », to dominate her.

 

 

Edited 5 hours ago by Schizophonia

[meta_male]

@Schizophonia I see. Sounds cringey to me. If that’s your idea of masculine and exciting you’re definitely not pushing the boundaries enough.

[Schizophonia]

5 minutes ago, meta_male said:

@Schizophonia I see. Sounds cringey to me.

Why ?  

5 minutes ago, meta_male said:

If that’s your idea of masculine and exciting you’re definitely not pushing the boundaries enough.

What do you mean
 

[meta_male]

@Schizophonia You’re saying if someone’s self-concept leans toward submission it’s because of mental issues. But then you’re acting like dominance excites you, which suggests it’s not second nature. Maybe that’s the same issue you’re pointing to in others?