I Don't Get Girls

[Jordan wang]

I am a person who is committed to apply the concepts of self-development into every aspects of my life, but should I apply it to dating?

For example:

self-development concept: (never give up)

  When I ask a girl out and she rejects me, if I apply this concept, I would just keep asking her out and keep bothering her to the point that she finds me disturbing and annoying. I know that I am not suppose to give up, but would this get me girls? Wouldn't girls just see this type of behavior as uncool and not sexy?

concept: (keep on asking girls out until you get what you want)

  If I get out of my comfort zone and ask one hot girl out per day, what if the girl that I asked out yesterday sees me ask or kiss another girl? What would she think of me? Or worse, would she tell all her hot friends to beware and never date me? 

Self-development involves a lot of planning and committing. But relationships are unpredictable, one moment it goes well, the next I might fuck up. 

Should I plan what girl I'm going to ask out and commit to that one girl? (probably not right?)

Basically: Am I suppose to be pushy in terms of my relationships with girls? Or should I just don't (plan) expect anything and let it happen? (isn't this the loser's way? But maybe it works with dating only?)

 

I'm lost as F.

Where does relationships and self-development meet? Is this the only area that I shouldn't apply the concepts of self-development?

I am 18, only had one girl friend. I don't get girls in general.

If anyone can answer my questions or just explain what girls want that would be appreciated.

Also how do I have as many one night stands (Or just hot fuck buddies) or just have a good sex life in general without appearing to be an asshole who cheats on woman?

thank you,

jordan wang

[Ayla]

Here is some clarity for you  

Feminine energy bonds when it receives, male energy bonds when it gives. 

In human relationships, it is for the male energy to go forth. So first lesson: if you ask someone out and she says NO, she is not ready, able or willing to receive. Move on. She would not care less if you ask other women out. 

I saw your other post about dating older women. Older women are more comfortable with their feminine side and that attracts you. Try!! The worst that could happen is.... ?!?!

Most women in our society don't have a clue about what it means to be feminine. They think that a shorter skirt or more make up would make them more so. False! Society has pushed women to be equal to men so they HAD TO take on a male role. So it is understandable that you dont wanna live with a dude. I am talking here SPECIFICALLY about romantic relationships. Not professional ones.

Just one point: be sure you like the girl you want to approach. Good feminine energy feels when it's just about fooling around. Also, you might want to wait for a sign that a woman likes you. Good feminine energy knows how to show that. 

[aurum]

The reason you're having a hard time applying this advice is that you're young and don't have a lot of experience.

That's perfectly normal and fine. But, if you want to "get girls" then you've got some work to do.

You're looking for the "right answer". But there is no general "right answer" that we can give you that will apply in every circumstance.

What you need is not more theories, but experience.

Go be social. Talk to girls. Pay attention to what works and what doesn't.

I know it's scary, but that's the thing you have to do. Otherwise you're just going keep staying confused.

[DJinn]

What draws people together is generally really organic and doesn't require a lot of you forcing anything.  But yes practice fall down get up and learn from your own experience.  Flirt with the barista at the coffee shop, make small talk with the checker at the grocery store.  You will find what works for you.  But pay attention to how these "practice girls" respond to you and pay attention to what you did to extract that reaction out of them.  

Does she blush if you say something witty?  If you are just talking to her in a crowded social setting does she actually reach out and touch you.  Even just a light brush against your arm will usually indicate that she is opening a door for you to pursue her.  Just don't be a stupid male and ignore all the subtle hints she is giving you because not many girls are going to just lean in and whisper into your ear that if you buy them dinner you might find their panties on your floor in the morning.  They aren't generally that direct and usually a lot more subtle.  

Edited May 23, 2017 by DJinn

[Guest username]

@Jordan wang Try checking out Coach Corey Wayne on YouTube. He's a good starting resource for the essential fundamentals of dating/game/attraction/relationships.

[electroBeam]

On 2017-5-14 at 6:37 AM, Ayla said:

Just one point: be sure you like the girl you want to approach. Good feminine energy feels when it's just about fooling around. Also, you might want to wait for a sign that a woman likes you. Good feminine energy knows how to show that. 

I beg to differ. I'm more successful at getting dates when I'm not really into the girl/she's not that attractive or my type.

And so are my friends who do cold approach with me.

And if you wait around for a sign, I highly doubt you will get much dates. In my experience, men have to be network marketers and convince the girl to give us their numbers and go on dates, otherwise they are just too lazy to say yes.

[Loreena]

If she is really not interested, there is no point in pursuing her. Imo, friendships are better than just random approaches because you get to know the person better. Try to be friends with as many girls as possible. When a girl seems cool and interested, ask her out. Chances of her saying yes are high. And there is a higher possibility of a lasting relationship because you guys would have a better understanding of each other. 

Edited May 25, 2017 by Loreena

[Ritu]

self development is when these kind of things do not bother you at all , relationship occurs when two people meet and self development is a concept of individuality ( your personal development) , when you are sufficient enough for you that is the real self development

as far as about girls , i have a question for you ;

if any random girl approaches you and ask you to date  her , would you say yes? even if you say yes this in not gonna go so far because if she approaches you the first thing will come in your mind that " this girl must be impressed by my appearance that's why she asked me out" (and this is not important in any relationship) now i think you can understand the mechanism .

you should approach a girl(if you like her ) there is nothing wrong in that but spend some time with her , know her ,let her know you more , just be real do not try to impress at all then you can ask her  by that time it would be logical too.

now if she say yes , great!!! and if no , you should not let yourself affect by this more just think you both are not perfect for each other and something better is waiting for you (let it go)

well, i believe in that if someone is in your luck , she will come one day you need not to do extra efforts( because you can not control someone , right?)  and nobody can stop her to come in your life

till then invest your time in you , love yourself, explore the world , make goals and fulfill them, develop yourself as much as you can .

all the very best for your life