I Fucked Up!!!

[EmilyCook26]

I Fucked up big time! Ive come straight off the self development train . I watched Leos videos on why my ego brings me back to what I know but I cant seem to get back on board!!! 

I know everything Im doing wrong, trust me I know! Im not meditating regularly, Im snappy and Im deffo not being mindful. In fact Im just a bit of a state! And it goes round and round making me feel bad Im not putting the work in. A huge catch 22. 

So how do I get back on board? Im 24 weeks pregnant and have two under fours which is probs why Im struggling as its really hard to be grounded when your hormones are crazaaaaay! X

[Dragallur]

Take it easy, start with only one small thing and do it consistently for a month.

[Guest username]

Don't be too harsh on yourself. To me, it sounds like what you need is some nice calm. Don't view meditation as an obligation; all that stuff is your treat.   

[Leo Gura]

It's easy to get overwhelmed when you start. Pick one thing and focus on it for a few months to build up some momentum. Maybe it's meditation. Maybe it's eating healthy. Or whatever will make the biggest difference for you.

[electroBeam]

@EmilyCook26 The worst thing you can do, is feel bad about it. In the willpower instinct Kelly Mcgonigal said the number 1 reason why people cannot control their willpower, is because they feel bad about it. YIIKES!

1st step, try and let go of all of that guilt you have. Work on that for a few weeks, and then you'll be grounded and ready to start your pd journey. 

Baby Steps.

[Arkandeus]

everything breathes in and out, you only feel bad because you're not putting in the work that you were already putting it
take a step back and realize the amazing fact that you did put the work in, that is undeniable proof of your change. 
it is normal to regress from time to time, you breath in all the new change, the new habits...then you breath out. 

but as you advance you get better at breathing and the times when you 'regress' are shorter and less chaotic. 
even now you are in this state but you are very conscious of it, is that not evolution even in a 'lower' state? 

this drive towards constant and perfect growth is a common symptom in society, in economy constant growing profit is an illusion, it's just not possible, but overall evolution is possible if we accept and understand that growth is done in waves that expand and contract rhythmically whereas the growth is not the absence of contraction but the intensifying of the expansion and the relaxing of the contraction. 
in my opinion