Female Dating Advice

[Emerald]

  On 4/10/2025 at 7:17 PM, Elliott said:

@Emerald 

What were the low investment guys types of responses when you asked them if they were serious?

Usually, when a man is low investment he will say things like "I don't want to put labels on anything". But overall, they just show a lack of effort to be present and connect because of their lukewarm feelings for the woman.

  On 4/10/2025 at 6:50 PM, Elliott said:

This is just being a player as a woman, trying to hook a man, funny thing, you're mainly going to catch players.

Marriage guys are practical, do you pass the requirements, see princess arabias video.

You clearly don't understand what I'm saying because perhaps you haven't fallen in love with a woman before.

First off, like 80% of men are marriage guys (probably more tbh). They just don't think about themselves that way until they meet a woman that they feel strongly enough about.

Most guys find the idea of marriage kind of meh. But if he falls in love with a woman, he will want to commit himself to her.

But neither male nor female players have anything to do with this dynamic. 

Players are low investment guys who will not invest in you beyond getting sex or breadcrumbing you with intermittent reinforcement tricks to keep you strung along on the hook and excited/anxious to ensure continued access to sex.

And it isn't about playing a man. It's quite the opposite. It's about securing a compatible longterm partner that you have chemistry with that you can be happy with longterm... who also reciprocates your level of investment in the relationship.

But men DO NOT decide on marriage partners practically... unless they are super attached to the idea of getting married because of social pressures or external factors. And I recommend steering clear of guys who are approaching a relationship from that vantage point, because they don't really want the relationship with you from an intrinsic Lover-based frame of mind.

If a man wants to spend his life with a particular woman it's 100% about how he feels about her. And if he feels strongly he will invest. And if he doesn't feel strongly, he won't put in much effort and he won't want to put labels on things or go deeper.

He will just enjoy the sex and female companionship without the deeper feelings. And if a woman doesn't sort him, she will waste years of her life trying to anxiously get him to invest more and care more... while getting bare-minimum treatment.

[Elliott]

  On 4/10/2025 at 8:33 PM, Emerald said:

Usually, when a man is low investment he will say things like "I don't want to put labels on anything". But overall, they just show a lack of effort to be present and connect because of their lukewarm feelings for the woman.

You clearly don't understand what I'm saying because perhaps you haven't fallen in love with a woman before.

First off, like 80% of men are marriage guys (probably more tbh). They just don't think about themselves that way until they meet a woman that they feel strongly enough about.

Most guys find the idea of marriage kind of meh. But if he falls in love with a woman, he will want to commit himself to her.

But neither male nor female players have anything to do with this dynamic. 

Players are low investment guys who will not invest in you beyond getting sex or breadcrumbing you with intermittent reinforcement tricks to keep you strung along on the hook and excited/anxious to ensure continued access to sex.

And it isn't about playing a man. It's quite the opposite. It's about securing a compatible longterm partner that you have chemistry with that you can be happy with longterm... who also reciprocates your level of investment in the relationship.

But men DO NOT decide on marriage partners practically... unless they are super attached to the idea of getting married because of social pressures or external factors. And I recommend steering clear of guys who are approaching a relationship from that vantage point, because they don't really want the relationship with you from an intrinsic Lover-based frame of mind.

If a man wants to spend his life with a particular woman it's 100% about how he feels about her. And if he feels strongly he will invest. And if he doesn't feel strongly, he won't put in much effort and he won't want to put labels on things or go deeper.

He will just enjoy the sex and female companionship without the deeper feelings. And if a woman doesn't sort him, she will waste years of her life trying to anxiously get him to invest more and care more... while getting bare-minimum treatment.

No

[Elliott]

 

[Emerald]

  On 4/10/2025 at 8:41 PM, Elliott said:

No

I have a few questions...

How old are you?

Have you ever felt like you wanted to marry a woman?

Have you ever been in love with a woman?

How appealing do you find the idea of marriage in general? And how much of a priority is finding a serious relationship and getting married at this juncture in your life?

Now, I'm going to make some assumptions about you... which is always dangerous because I could be assuming incorrectly. 

My assumption is that you're a young guy under the age of 26 who has never been in a serious relationship with a woman nor felt the desire to commit deeply to a specific woman over the longterm. And I also assume that that isn't a high priority for you right now because of your age... and that your focus in more invested in getting better at meeting women and attracting women, rather than finding a longterm partner.

If my assumptions are correct, then everything that I've said will probably feel unrelatable to you. And that makes sense from your perspective as you're focusing on a totally different type of dynamic that's more based in the attraction phase of relationships.

This advice around investment I'm giving is more for the range of a couple months into dating.

[Emerald]

  On 4/10/2025 at 9:10 PM, Elliott said:

 

I've watched plenty of this guy's content. He's got great advice. Is there anything in this video in particular you're trying to draw my attention to?

[Emerald]

  On 4/10/2025 at 9:10 PM, Elliott said:

 

My advice is 100% aligned with all the advice in this video... especially the parts about avoiding putting him up on a pedestal, avoiding emasculating behavior, and avoiding the instant relationship scenario.

When you lean back as a woman and rest in the Feminine Beloved mode and give him space to pursue and to invest... instead of putting him up on a pedestal and trying to woo him and chase him and give to him like he's the Feminine Beloved, like women frequently make the mistake of doing... he is able to feel appreciated for the efforts he's putting in.

And allowing him to invest more in you in the courtship process is about avoiding over-giving and keeping yourself in the receiver role... and then expressing gratitude and appreciating the investments he makes in you so that he gets to feel like a man and that he can play a positive role in your life.

That is why I recommend a slight imbalance during courtship where he's putting in over half of the effort.

Not only does it help you avoid putting too much energy into a guy who will never be that into you. It also gives the man the ability to step into the Masculine Lover role.

Like in the part of the video where he was talking about the woman who tells the guy "You're perfect"... that is a woman who is over-investing her energy in a guy and trying to give to him like SHE would like to be given to. And it's a subtle way to try to control and to have that behavior reciprocated.

And when a woman does this, it's just like the example of the woman stepping in and fixing the thing because she knows she can do it better than the guy... only with regard to the courtship itself. When there are subtle attempts to control and manipulate a reciprocal response (even if she is unaware she is doing that), it will send the message "You're doing the courtship wrong. I can do it better than you." This is also true when women nag a man to invest more.

It's emasculating and gives him a sense that there is no space for him to invest as he is and be appreciated for what he can bring to your life.

Edited April 10 by Emerald

[Elliott]

 

  On 4/9/2025 at 2:00 PM, Elliott said:

If you want to know if a guy is serious about you, ask him.

  On 4/10/2025 at 7:17 PM, Elliott said:

@Emerald 

What were the low investment guys types of responses when you asked them if they were serious?

 

  On 4/10/2025 at 8:33 PM, Emerald said:

"I don't want to put labels on anything".

👆   

🏃‍♀️

[Elliott]

  On 4/10/2025 at 9:35 PM, Emerald said:

My advice is 100% aligned with all the advice in this video...

😐

1

you're playing games 

 

2

Men don't invest unless you show us you're into us, players do.

 

4

You expect the man to invest more

 

6.)men want to feel chosen

 

 

Just ask if he's serious.

[Princess Arabia]

  On 4/10/2025 at 10:10 PM, Elliott said:

😐

1

you're playing games 

 

2

Men don't invest unless you show us you're into us, players do.

 

4

You expect the man to invest more

 

6.)men want to feel chosen

 

 

Just ask if he's serious.

You're very young, I can tell. I can also tell you have a lot of guy friends. 

 

[Elliott]

  On 4/10/2025 at 9:15 PM, Emerald said:

I have a few questions...

How old are you?

Have you ever felt like you wanted to marry a woman?

Have you ever been in love with a woman?

How appealing do you find the idea of marriage in general? And how much of a priority is finding a serious relationship and getting married at this juncture in your life?

Now, I'm going to make some assumptions about you... which is always dangerous because I could be assuming incorrectly. 

My assumption is that you're a young guy under the age of 26 who has never been in a serious relationship with a woman nor felt the desire to commit deeply to a specific woman over the longterm. And I also assume that that isn't a high priority for you right now because of your age... and that your focus in more invested in getting better at meeting women and attracting women, rather than finding a longterm partner.

If my assumptions are correct, then everything that I've said will probably feel unrelatable to you. And that makes sense from your perspective as you're focusing on a totally different type of dynamic that's more based in the attraction phase of relationships.

This advice around investment I'm giving is more for the range of a couple months into dating.

 

30s

going on 3 year relationship

marriage is the most important thing in my life to me right now.

 

I agree you need to sort men. I've said 3 times i think, that i think you'll sort away 95% of guys looking for marriage with going by this specific part of your advice, I've given my reasons why I believe that.

[Elliott]

  On 4/10/2025 at 10:18 PM, Princess Arabia said:

You're very young, I can tell. I can also tell you have a lot of guy friends. 

 

😎

[Princess Arabia]

  On 4/10/2025 at 10:21 PM, Elliott said:

😎

Hehe...

[Princess Arabia]

  On 4/10/2025 at 10:20 PM, Elliott said:

 

30s

going on 3 year relationship

marriage is the most important thing in my life to me right now.

 

I agree you need to sort men. I've said 3 times i think, that i think you'll sort away 95% of guys looking for marriage with going by this specific part of your advice, I've given my reasons why I believe that.

I think she's married also so I think it varies. We both thought you were younger but maybe you're just young at heart.

[Twentyfirst]

@Emerald Check out Nicole Michelle on YouTube. She has a very large catalog of videos on how men choose women. She is 99% right every time

[Elliott]

  On 4/10/2025 at 9:35 PM, Emerald said:

My advice is 100% aligned with all the advice in this video... especially the parts about avoiding putting him up on a pedestal, avoiding emasculating behavior, and avoiding the instant relationship scenario.

When you lean back as a woman and rest in the Feminine Beloved mode and give him space to pursue and to invest... instead of putting him up on a pedestal and trying to woo him and chase him and give to him like he's the Feminine Beloved, like women frequently make the mistake of doing... he is able to feel appreciated for the efforts he's putting in.

Emasculating 

Games

  Quote

And allowing him to invest more in you in the courtship process is about avoiding over-giving and keeping yourself in the receiver role... and then expressing gratitude and appreciating the investments he makes in you so that he gets to feel like a man and that he can play a positive role in your life.

Emasculating 

Games

  Quote

That is why I recommend a slight imbalance during courtship where he's putting in over half of the effort.

Games

Men want to feel chosen

  Quote

Not only does it help you avoid putting too much energy into a guy who will never be that into you. It also gives the man the ability to step into the Masculine Lover role.

Emasculating

Games

  Quote

Like in the part of the video where he was talking about the woman who tells the guy "You're perfect"... that is a woman who is over-investing her energy in a guy and trying to give to him like SHE would like to be given to. And it's a subtle way to try to control and to have that behavior reciprocated.

Games

Lying

  Quote

And when a woman does this, it's just like the example of the woman stepping in and fixing the thing because she knows she can do it better than the guy... only with regard to the courtship itself.

 

  Quote

When there are subtle attempts to control and manipulate a reciprocal response (even if she is unaware she is doing that), it will send the message "You're doing the courtship wrong. I can do it better than you."

Yep, and that's what you're doing with withholding. 

  Quote

This is also true when women nag a man to invest more.

It's emasculating and gives him a sense that there is no space for him to invest as he is and be appreciated for what he can bring to your life.

 

 

 

 

🎯

 

You ever have a pet you don't love, did you love all your best friends early on?

 

A guy, just like in princess arabias video, will grow to love you, he will choose whether or not to go down that path based on his requirements for a wife. And even if he already loves you, if you don't pass the wife test he might not marry you.

Edited April 11 by Elliott

[Emerald]

  On 4/10/2025 at 10:20 PM, Elliott said:

30s

going on 3 year relationship

marriage is the most important thing in my life to me right now.

I agree you need to sort men. I've said 3 times i think, that i think you'll sort away 95% of guys looking for marriage with going by this specific part of your advice, I've given my reasons why I believe that.

Most men aren't consciously looking for marriage as marriage curtails sexual freedom which doesn't appeal to the average man... but will want to marry his partner if he falls in love with her.

So, the majority of men aren't interested in marriage until they feel like they've actually found their Beloved.

What I would ask you is... are you more motivated by a desire for marriage itself because you just want to get married and you're vetting for someone who pragmatically fits as a lifetime partner? 

Or are you more motivated by your feelings of love for your specific partner and a desire to spend your life with her in particular?

I recommend that women select for the latter as it makes for a more secure and intimate relationship.

[Elliott]

  On 4/11/2025 at 2:28 AM, Emerald said:

Most men aren't consciously looking for marriage as marriage curtails sexual freedom which doesn't appeal to the average man...

This is so ridiculous, where do you get this garbage?

 

  Quote

What I would ask you is... are you more motivated by a desire for marriage itself because you just want to get married and you're vetting for someone who pragmatically fits as a lifetime partner? 

Or are you more motivated by your feelings of love for your specific partner and a desire to spend your life with her in particular?

I recommend that women select for the latter as it makes for a more secure and intimate relationship.

  On 4/11/2025 at 2:28 AM, Emerald said:

 

I would not marry if I were not in love, I wouldn't want to, I would have zero desire to even if she's my perfect wife list to a t.

I want love, deep intimacy, deeper than any other couple has ever had.

Edited April 11 by Elliott

[Emerald]

  On 4/11/2025 at 1:28 AM, Elliott said:

 

🎯

You ever have a pet you don't love, did you love all your best friends early on?

A guy, just like in princess arabias video, will grow to love you, he will choose whether or not to go down that path based on his requirements for a wife.

I recommend checking out Feminine energy-based dating coaches like Adrienne Everheart, Helena Hart, Rori Raye, Matthew Hussey, Mike Rosenbaum, and the guy whose video you sent me earlier.

While every individual has their requirements and deal-breakers,  it's not very effective for women to do this kind of calculus as it shifts her mindset out of the Feminine selector role... and has her questioning her value, feeling more insecure, and scarce because "Oh no. What if I get percentages deducted?"

This calculus is ultimately counterproductive as the woman must stay in her Feminine frame as the Beloved and ask "Does he fit with me?" instead of being concerned about "Oh no. My score is low. Will he have me?"

As a woman, you get what you're willing to tolerate. And if you feel like you're a low value partner, you will tolerate a lot out of desperation... and you'll be unlikely to pair with a man who does value you in particular.

But men DO NOT grow to fall in love with you. They're into you or they aren't. They are not persuadable. 

[Elliott]

  On 4/11/2025 at 2:45 AM, Emerald said:

I recommend checking out Feminine energy-based dating coaches like Adrienne Everheart, Helena Hart, Rori Raye, Matthew Hussey, Mike Rosenbaum, and the guy whose video you sent me earlier.

While every individual has their requirements and deal-breakers,  it's not very effective for women to do this kind of calculus as it shifts her mindset out of the Feminine selector role... and has her questioning her value, feeling more insecure, and scarce because "Oh no. What if I get percentages deducted?"

This calculus is ultimately counterproductive as the woman must stay in her Feminine frame as the Beloved and ask "Does he fit with me?" instead of being concerned about "Oh no. My score is low. Will he have me?"

As a woman, you get what you're willing to tolerate. And if you feel like you're a low value partner, you will tolerate a lot out of desperation... and you'll be unlikely to pair with a man who does value you in particular.

No one is suggesting a woman behave unnatural to play some game, this is just explaining men. Be yourself. 

  Quote

But men DO NOT grow to fall in love with you. They're into you or they aren't. They are not persuadable. 

They're not persuadable, you cannot make a man fall in love with you. But most guys grow in love, what do you think princess arabias video meant when the guy is investing which grows his love?

Edited April 11 by Elliott

[Emerald]

  On 4/11/2025 at 2:36 AM, Elliott said:

This is so ridiculous, where do you get this garbage?

I would not marry if I were not in love, I wouldn't want to, I would have zero desire to even if she's my perfect wife list to a t.

I want love, deep intimacy, deeper than any other couple has ever had.

It's all observation and experience. My advice is about avoiding low investment situationships... and knowing your boundaries. And through knowing your boundaries you create more space for the man to invest and pursue.

There's nothing crazy about this advice. It's pretty straightforward and it works because the greatest power a woman has in finding a good partner is the power of no... and learning to say no to what isn't good for her.

Perhaps (if I'm understanding you correctly) you originally felt wishy washy about your partner and didn't feel like you were that into her and saw her as a situationship that you didn't take seriously as a longterm relationship prospect... but over time you grew to fall in love with her?

Did I get that right? If not, there's ZERO reason to be arguing with my advice... as it is specifically about weeding out guys that aren't that into you and who don't actually see you as a real relationship prospect.

If a guy's not that into you in the beginning... he's going to continue to not be that into you in the future. And you don't want to wast 10 years of your life in an anxiety-producing and unsatisfying situationship where you only ever get breadcrumbs.