Treat Women Like Children

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, aurum said:

Women literally call men "daddy" in bed. 

Yes daddy, but..lol. I literally hesitated to use the word in my response but I was hoping you wouldn't make the correlation. I should have known better....you're a guy...and probably a freaky one at that...hehe.

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, Tudo said:

But not experienced as a  masculine man, by the way, I don’t even like to talk about these subjects here because @Emerald seems like such a good hearted person.

Don't be fooled. She's mentally tough and can handle it. Watch out for yourself, she'll crush you. Lol

[Emerald]

Just now, Tudo said:

But not experienced as a  masculine man, by the way, I don’t even like to talk about these subjects here because @Emerald seems like such a good hearted person.

Well, thank you. 

But it's okay. I like to debate.

It's hard to resist even with this topic because I sense I'm really pushing up against a very all-encompassing false paradigm that's creating a lot of suffering for people.

It's like fighting a dragon that's holding people back from the joy that's possible for them and making people's lives worse.

I likely won't succeed. But I like to fight the good fight.

[Emerald]

6 minutes ago, aurum said:

There's surely some difference. You probably don't need to tell her not to put her finger in an electric socket.

But also, those lines may not be so distinct at times. 

Women literally call men "daddy" in bed. 

That's only fun for me (and most women) when the guy actually relates to me as his equal 90% of the time. And I'm sure that that's the case for your female partners.

They probably feel safe to play to those sub/dom dynamics with you specifically because you're not ACTUALLY seeing them as children you must govern.

Personally, I wouldn't even put myself in a position where I'd be calling a man "daddy" who literally saw me as a child he needs to emotionally manipulate to regulate my emotions for me.

If I were in such a relationships, it just sounds like I'd be living my life inside of a bad bdsm porno... which is like the 7th circle of Hell.

There just wouldn't be anything interesting there for me... and it would be stifling.

[Tudo]

6 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Well, thank you. 

But it's okay. I like to debate.

It's hard to resist even with this topic because I sense I'm really pushing up against a very all-encompassing false paradigm that's creating a lot of suffering for people.

It's like fighting a dragon that's holding people back from the joy that's possible for them and making people's lives worse.

I likely won't succeed. But I like to fight the good fight.

Maybe you’re right, but I can only speak from personal experience. And every time I overlooked gender differences, it ended badly.

[Emerald]

1 minute ago, Tudo said:

Maybe you’re right, but I can only speak from personal experience. And every time I overlooked gender differences, it ended badly.

Gender differences are important to be mindful of... especially with sexual dynamics.

But it requires more of a subtle delicate touch than a sledgehammer.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

51 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

It's not helpful to men to tell them that the difference is only 5%. Because then men never learn that handling women truly requires rewiring how your whole mind works, from the man's POV. When the differece is de-emphasized men start treating women logically and this ends poorly because women cannot be treated like that. I know because I tried, and it took me lots of failure to learn this lesson, which I now share with men.

This is one of the valid reasons that Red Pill and manosphere ideology has flourished: because stage Green views of this issue are legitimately inadequet for men learning how to handle women.

Gender equality is a post-modernist fantasy. And Green refuses to admit this because it's afraid admitting it will lead to less political rights for women. Gender equality in the political sphere is being confused with gender equality in the relationship sphere, where it does not belong.

All of my girlfriends responded most positively when they were treated in a very feminine way for which I had to rewire my mind to work 180 degrees from logical. No one teaches men how to handle the feminine. We have to figure it out the hard way.

Good points. You highlight well the scale & depth to which some men are behind wrt understanding women/feminine. 

The last line touches on another subject regarding parenting. I personally feel it should be within the roles of parents to be whole and healed enough emotionally to be able to embody the masculine/feminine in equal & healthy balance. Acting as a direct example of how to treat the opposite sex, how to interact and facilitating understanding between the roles/sexes. Laying the groundwork so men aren't launched into society lacking so much knowledge.

It speaks to how unconscious parenting lays the groundwork for issues in the children.

All the more important to integrate consciousness into ones being.

 

[Emerald]

14 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Don't be fooled. She's mentally tough and can handle it. Watch out for yourself, she'll crush you. Lol

[gambler]

1 minute ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

The last line touches on another subject regarding parenting. I personally feel it should be within the roles of parents to be whole and healed enough emotionally to be able to embody the masculine/feminine in equal & healthy balance. Acting as a direct example of how to treat the opposite sex, how to interact and facilitating understanding between the roles/sexes. Laying the groundwork so men aren't launched into society lacking so much knowledge.

Until the environment confuses you with so many conflicting things and you begin to go down rabbit holes.

[integral]

24 minutes ago, Emerald said:

And telling them to treat women as children is NOT helping them. 

It's about positive ownership not negative ownership.

In the same way you love your child... The phrasing instills empathy within the man that allows him to view the woman in such a way that diffuses all conflict.

It is very effective.

 

Quote

Positive ownership 

Many people mistakenly associate the concept of ownership in relationships with control, oppression, or a limitation on freedom. However, this negative view misses the point of what positive ownership really means. In the context of containment, ownership is not about dominating or restricting a partner but rather about taking genuine responsibility for her well-being. It’s a proactive, nurturing act where a man creates a safe, supportive environment in which a woman can flourish. Rather than being a tool of control, positive ownership is an expression of care—it’s the commitment to ensure that she never has to fend for herself emotionally, mentally, or physically.

This positive form of ownership benefits both partners. When a man provides containment through positive ownership, he not only secures the woman’s safety and happiness but also reinforces his own sense of purpose and value. The act of taking responsibility is analogous to caring for a prized possession—investing time, energy, and attention to maintain and improve what is most important. In this light, the traditional negative associations fade away, revealing ownership as a healthy, mutually empowering aspect of a balanced relationship, where both individuals thrive in their authentic roles.

 We should all treat each other like children, the world would be a better place.

Edited Sunday at 12:52 AM by integral

[Emerald]

Just now, integral said:

It's about positive ownership not negative ownership.

In the same way you love your child... The phrasing instills empathy within the man that allows him to view the woman in such a way that diffuses all conflict.

It is very effective.

We should all treat each other like children, the world would be a better place.

I've seen that Teal Swan video too. So, I already know her perspective on that.

And I agree... depending on the degree. I seek containment from my partner and my social circle more generally as it gives me context to bloom.

But containment is very different than what Leo was talking about.... which (again) is the actual thing I'm arguing against.

So, this "We should all treat each other like children" is just moving the goal posts and trying to get me into an argument that I'm not actually arguing against.

[MsNobody]

I think leo might be talking about the ability to communicate with women, not manipulate.

If you pick spiral dynamics for example, the more evolved the stage, the better the communication.

Countries that are red and blue fight whole wars because they don’t speak the same language and lack the understanding of the other.
 

Men and women speak different languages, it’s the work of each individual to integrate the masculine and the feminine within himself/herself to become whole. 
The masculine men nowadays do not see value in emotions and feelings, and the feminine women usually can’t be logical. 
It’s the realm of the heart and the mind.
 

This feminine communication is like a 6th sense, it’s subtle and gentle, intuitive. Men need to integrate those feminine traits to see their value. 

We women use more words daily, statistically speaking. Noticed how we put more effort in the wording here while men write very short paragraphs. We not only speak the language but because of childbearing we can read beyond the words, the body language and subtle energies. Men can develop that too, but that would require them to turn off their mind a little, connect to the body, to the heart. 

In the end it’s all a beautiful dance of duality, feminine and masculine trying to find equilibrium. Matt Kahn says that our life’s journey is to unite our brains right and left hemisphere, both sides need to put extreme effort into understanding the other, not only for developing a deeper connection to others but for self realization. 

[Leo Gura]

28 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I'm bisexual.

Which demonstrates that you are not a typical feminine woman. So your view of this issue is not as pure as you imagine.

[MsNobody]

Also it’s actually funny men saying that they need to talk to women like they talk to a child because I hear so many of my friends justifying their bfs bad behavior and speaking about them like they are children “but he is a good guy, he started telling me when he is uncomfortable, his communication is improving, he actually started talking more” like they are referring to 3yo that is learning the abc. 

[Emerald]

Just now, Leo Gura said:

Which demonstrates that you are not a typical feminine woman. So your view of this issue is not as pure as you imagine.

I am actually quite typical in my attractions to men.

It's just convenient for you to frame me as some uncommon woman who knows nothing about female sexuality... as (deep down) you know I am correct.

[Leo Gura]

5 minutes ago, MsNobody said:

so many of my friends justifying their bfs bad behavior and speaking about them like they are children “but he is a good guy,

This counter-intuitively is part of the child-like nature of women, who behave like abused children in abusive relationships.

If women thought about who they slept with logically they would avoid 95% of abusive relationships.

Abusive relationships happen to irresponisible people who allow themselves to get boiled alive like frogs.

One of those truths you should not tell women.

Edited Sunday at 01:06 AM by Leo Gura

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, Leo Gura said:

If women thought about who they slept with logically they would avoid 95% of abusive relationships.

This is true.

[Terell Kirby]

I find most feminine, attractive women lead with good vibes and emotional spikes. She's typically not screening for a guys level of integrity, maturity or moral development--at least in the initial attraction phase.

I've made the mistake plenty times over trying to attract women with my "resume"- metaphorically speaking, none of this matters up against the guys that know how to give out vibes / emotional spikes.

Note: Integrity is still important to healthy masculinity

Edited Sunday at 01:15 AM by Terell Kirby

[Emerald]

14 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

This counter-intuitively is part of childishness of women, who behave like abused children in abusive relationships.

If women thought about who they slept with logically they would avoid 95% of abusive relationships.

Abusive relationships happen to irresponisible people who allow themselves to get boiled alive like frogs.

This is quite a judgmental and un-compassionate reaction to something that can happen to anyone.

And weren't you in one before? I seem to recall you mentioning that (some years ago) you were in a toxic relationship. I suppose you're not in it now. But still, your reaction is lacking in the understanding of how human psychology functions in these kinds of scenarios where one's life is already intertwined with an abuser.

Also, both men and women end up in abusive relationships where they make up excuses for their partner. I've seen it in life and in my career as a coach.

And as someone who has been in an abusive relationship when I was in my teens, it's difficult because you end up intertwining your life with that person that it becomes so difficult to leave.

For me, I genuinely believed he would kill himself if I broke up with him. Nearly 16 years later, and I'm pretty sure he's still alive. But I really felt I would have blood on my hands and that it was my responsibility to love him unconditionally and keep him alive.

And I constantly threw myself under the bus to try to make that relationship work, as I though that's what unconditional love meant (it was before my Ayahuasca experiences).

But after the fact (if you heal and develop more discernment), it makes you a lot more selective with who you choose to spend your time with.

But I would not shame anyone who finds themselves stuck in such a relationship because I've been there before.

But yes, you must incorporate logic in order to properly screen for dealbreakers and to select a partner you can be happy with longterm.

Edited Sunday at 01:19 AM by Emerald

[Natasha Tori Maru]

14 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Abusive relationships happen to irresponisible people who allow themselves to get boiled alive like frogs.

This is not true, this is victim blaming.