For absolute beginners: practice chatting with anyone

[enchanted]

If you can't strike up a conversation with your neighbor, or the gym attendant, or someone beside you on the bus stop then what chance do you have with someone who you are really attracted too?

People like friendly outgoing socially comfortable people. Practise being that and you will be a magnet for romantic partners. 

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, enchanted said:

People like friendly outgoing socially comfortable people.

Also the opposite. People with the opposite traits of what you mentioned above are also liked. Not unfriendly, but even socially awkward and introverted. Some even search those people out. Saying stuff like that may make introverted people and who are socially awkward feel they have to change to be accepted. Maybe it's us that needs to change and adapt to these people and accept them for who they are. 

Your main message is great, though and I also suggest that.

Edited Friday at 04:41 PM by Princess Arabia

[enchanted]

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

 Saying stuff like that may make introverted people and who are socially awkward feel they have to change to be accepted. 

Ya great point and we must love and accept everyone.

Sure, sitting around waiting for an extrovert to save you is one strategy. But it's a poor one that can waste years of your life. If someone is frustrated with their current situation I recommend learning and practicing communication skills throughout the day.

This is a self development forum where change is seen as a good thing. 

 

Edited Friday at 05:55 PM by enchanted

[LifeEnjoyer]

Reminds me of when I first got into game through Leo's vids I was working at a deli and I came across this concept of "just one more word." It's as simple as it sounds and was great at getting to know the customer's better and help level up my game!

[Yimpa]

2 minutes ago, LifeEnjoyer said:

I was working at a deli and I came across this concept of "just one more word."

PICKLE!

Give me one more pickle on my samwitch peas 

[LifeEnjoyer]

@Yimpa Banana.

[Yimpa]

10 minutes ago, LifeEnjoyer said:

@Yimpa Banana.

[Princess Arabia]

8 hours ago, enchanted said:

Ya great point and we must love and accept everyone.

Sure, sitting around waiting for an extrovert to save you is one strategy. But it's a poor one that can waste years of your life. If someone is frustrated with their current situation I recommend learning and practicing communication skills throughout the day.

This is a self development forum where change is seen as a good thing. 

 

Great points also.

[integral]

It's hard because I don't want to hear what they have to say, I don't like any of the topics that we're going to talk about and it bores me out of my mind.

Edited Saturday at 03:23 AM by integral

[enchanted]

13 hours ago, integral said:

It's hard because I don't want to hear what they have to say, I don't like any of the topics that we're going to talk about and it bores me out of my mind.

So practice leading the conversation in a direction that you are interested in.  Whether that's humor or deep/personal topics. This is an essential skill in dating too

[integral]

@enchanted no matter how good you are socializing people are not interested in these topics and you’re always gonna run into a wall and if you try to push the wall, it makes them uncomfortable because they don’t wanna talk about these topics. They wanna talk about mindless things that happened to them yesterday.

It genuinely tires people when they have to use higher brain function to think about any topic. They don’t enjoy it.

at some point, they will always think “I don’t know” and this is often one of the worst pathways you can go down in a conversation. You don’t want them to ever have to think that or say that. It makes him feel bad.

Me and you will have fun in the world of “I don’t know” and exploring possibilities, while for them it makes them unhappy.

[Rishabh R]

@enchanted In your previous post where you talked about reading - How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie. I have read Models by Mark Manson which mentions the previous book in it's reference.

[something_else]

I built my social skills in the smoking areas of clubs talking to basically anyone who seemed remotely unique or interesting. If you want to build social skills you need to find places where mingling is acceptable and you can talk to new people easily. It kinda helps if people are drinking because they’ll be less judgemental of your social quirks.