How can I shut up?

[Santiago Ram]

This post isnt a joke. 

I speak too much (impulsively) and people find it annoying. 

How do I learn to shut up?

[samijiben]

Breathe. Silence

[ExploringReality]

Practice the art of shutting the fuck up. When you have an impulse to say something, tell yourself to shut up, sometimes you must police yourself, but balance it out with understanding your addiction to speak and give yourself that loving reminder to let whatever your mouth wants to say go.

[Yimpa]

God is an Alien Idiot

 

Edited Saturday at 03:48 AM by Yimpa

[samijiben]

I have also struggled with this issue and have found it stems from hidden desire to prove yourself, come across as clever, fear of expressing whay you actually feel in that moment, lack of respect for the person you're speaking with coupled with the superimposition of your expectations & assumptions about the place where you think they're coming from, etc.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zpe-azhEZk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmVRv5X-6cE

 

[Yimpa]

4 minutes ago, Raze said:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmVRv5X-6cE

 

Dude is too attractive, would listen to him talk for 10 hours straight

[Princess Arabia]

Simple. Before you speak count to 5.

1-2-3-4.....SHUT IT UP!

[Natasha Tori Maru]

I try to always ask myself the question 'What am I attempting to accomplish with this communication?'

You will find, most often, it is ego related.

That is enough for me to shut the fuck up 

There was an element of force involved in this 'inner training' I did with myself - I am predisposed to revealing too many details regarding business workings.

Working with state & federal clients really forced this.

'What am I trying to communicate here?'

[Exystem]

Consider the art of listening a meditation.

When I listen to someone I try to be as fully present as I can, whenever I am attracted to drift off into my own thoughts too much I remind myself to really listen again as you may remind yourself to notice your breath in meditation.

Realize that a big part of communication comes from looking into the eyes of another, realize the magic that might happen there. Maybe switch the eye from time to time it makes the other feels less uncomfortable, don't stare or force it when it feels awkward, especially when speaking yourself sometimes give space by focussing somewhere else or look away (but in general become the part who does it less than the other). Some people look into your eyes a lot, you may realize that a coonection between both of you builds up extremely fast. Make it a meditation to listen and penetrate the eyes with your laser focus.

Imagine the other may give you essential clues and insights about your own life, but it depends on your faith in his intelligence and willingness to give space and reward him with attention and love. Realize that everyone is smarter or has more experience than you in at least one area of life and it is your task to find that sweet spot by asking the right questions and fully listening. As long as you don't find that and are bored, listen more to HOW the other says things, not what. Make it an art to tune into ones energetic signature by listening to how and why someone says or does not say specific things. You can explore so much in a boring normie conversation when you focus on the right stuff with the right mindset.

When you nurture the other with this full-on attention and guide the conversation with intelligent questions you will encounter sooo much more depth in a usually superficial normie and people feel magnetically attracted to you. Don't underestimate the effect! With the right mindset of yours people really become excited, awake and fully in flowmode and show their best potential and will thank you for the conversation afterwards. Make it a task to almost NEVER interrupt! I almost never do it, it's a golden rule of mine, see it as a training of your patience.

Example from my own life: Often when I have encounters with groups of people that I don't know yet and whose listening culture is definitely worse than mine, it happens naturally that everyone gets more and more attracted to speak to me instead of the others because I am the only one who is really listening. Even in a group of up to ten people it's casual that I am the one looked at and adressed in more than 50% of the time although I only make 10% of the people. Sometimes I need to signal with a look to the others that there are more people than me who can be talked to, it can feel a bit overwhelming and weird to be of so much focus to everyone, but you will attract attention like a flame attracts moths. It's an interesting experience. You literally become the center of attention by being completely attentive.

Good listening is an art form you can enhance almost endlessly. It's like the interaction with an AI. Learn to ask the right questions. Therefore you must first understand how the AI works. Which prompts it can work best with. So sometimes your conversationn partner is lost in his zombie mode that he is used to while talking to most people. Show him that you are of another kind! Let him feel that he is in 100% spotlight and now it's his time to shine! Consider him to actually still be a small child which no adult ever truly believed in and now you are the first one to show him that he has a huge potential to actualize. This kind of attitude is the best prompt for great concersations.

And use silence as a tool. For example when people lie and you don't respond immediatly they may try to fabulate more to make their point more convincing. The same way goes for boring topics or emotional stuff too sometimes. Sometimes no response is the best response. The deepest topics arise from the longest silence beacause that's when you have time to feel into what you aactually really want to talk about. So give space in that regard. And feel into your own urge to say something, feel the uncomfortableness, make it a meditation again.

People really miss out on listening. So many people just want to talk endlessly about themselves. You won't learn much about yourself when you talk a lot about yourself. When you give people your full loving attention, they will reward you for that . They may ask very deep questions  back and look into your soul with a similar interest so now you learn something about yourself!!

[Aaron p]

Just remember that your loved bro and that your opinion is important. You deserve to have your questions answered. It's wise to know when to stop talking...like with family or friends, they're not Gona be able to be around a person who constantly talks about transcending physical existence for example. But also sometimes if the ego finds itself lost, the only way it can get to a much better point in itself is by scrambling to the finish line. This is often messy and uncalibrated. 

Also at a mystical level just be aware that just because you're silent doesen't mean the ego has decreased...it might decrease a bit but ultimately it will just be an ego sitting there, forcing itself to be quiet. 

True silence includes noise and true mystical silence isint maintained, it's discovered. Effort Vs effortless.

Also a method I've been using more recently is asking god/my heart what he/it wants me to say and just speaking from that place

Edited Saturday at 12:04 PM by Aaron p

[Breakingthewall]

Don't shut up, go as deep as you can and delight us with high-level reflections

[gettoefl]

If you can't say it in a sentence or four, go back to the drawing board and don't waste folk's time.

S.elf i.ndulgent n.onsense is the only s.i.n.

O that internet forums take heed.

Remember, you only speak or write that you yourself remember.

Edited Saturday at 12:43 PM by gettoefl

[ChrisZoZo]

@Santiago Ram untangle the beliefs that make you think that you should be talking as much as you are. 

[Brandon Nankivell]

One approach is simply to decide to, but the decision has to be all-in.

Another approach is to look within and find the root desire of why you feel the need to speak impulsively.

[Santiago Ram]

Thanks to all of you guys.

I discovered this helped the most:

Quote

Shut up. Feel. Just Feel.

 

[VeganAwake]

Try only speaking when someone directly asks you your opinion on the topic.

That way you tend to listen better, and it gives you time to clearly think about what you're going to say and who you're saying it to!

❤️