Revisiting teachings post-awakening

[Airendal]

I had a very interesting experience this week in looking back at old teachers I used to read religiously a decade ago in my naive pursuit of enlightenment as one does at one point or another.

Now I found it to be a lot more of an intimately emotional experience rather than the intellectual engagement it had been prior. I found it more akin to musing with parts of myself rather than reading someone else's words, in that I found a deep amount of love that I had not noticed prior when I was still clinging to seeking for answers as "outside" of myself.

I felt there was a lot of pain in this love, for what drives someone to dedicate their lives to produce teachings? Is it not out of love for mankind? In wish to bring others into the state of pure authenticity and love they've found themselves in. In this I no longer feel lonely at all in this work, for we are surrounded by kindred souls from across time who sought and found and felt, similar to what we are now.

Now I too am now finding myself in this loving pain and it is quite humbling. I realize there is next to nothing I can do to awaken my next of kin. Yet at the same time, in seeing the barriers between myself and all these people before me melt away, I find that I am without doubt in result of their work. Their contributions to mankind regardless of their mistaken notions has added to the collective evolution of human consciousness, and in that I find a strong drive to participate in this work, as it may lead to future "mes" finding this too.

Personally I've been finding this really quite beautiful.

What do you all think? Have you had any interesting experiences in revisiting material post-awakening?