Dissolving both sides of resistance in a long term relationship

[Lyubov]

Anyone ever experience this in a long term relationship with a person you love and been together a long time? Things get sort of boring and stagnant, sex is less exciting with them and almost no longer something you really crave 

on one side you see yourself as trapped and create emotions of discomfort “I must leave this relationship”

however 

on the other side when this person is gone and you see them out of your life you grieve, you see life as lacking and cruel without them and you realized you took them for granted, the possibility of losing them after a big fight actually brings the passion in the relationship back to life

is there a way to strike a balance and breathe life into the relationship always so it’s always exciting and this pendulum doesn’t have to take place… ?

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyDBtEm3HS8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5ZwORxZeh4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkEtsflr4is

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3ESPP3IRf8

 

 

Edited yesterday at 06:21 AM by Raze

[integral]

You should be levelling up every time you have sex so it never stagnates.

After sex, she should always say “that was the best that we had”, and it should continue like that indefinitely

This is only possible because women are not rationally thinking, they’re only emotionally thinking, and you could always get her emotionally aroused beyond logic. 

Edited yesterday at 06:31 AM by integral

[integral]

1 hour ago, Lyubov said:

sex is less exciting with them and almost no longer something you really crave 

 

Sex is a mental game with yourself, erections and arousal is a mental game with yourself. It’s not dependent on what whether your partner could stimulate you.

You guys have it backwards it’s not your partners job to stimulate you, you have to arouse yourself by creating fantasy and excitement in your mind.

after you master yourself, you have to master her.

The more intense you are the more intense it will be for her…

Ravage her at every level (intimacy, emotionally, intellectually, physically)….

If you guys are getting bored it’s cause you suck at connection, and you think connection is this soft one dimensional thing. When there’s 1000 ways to connect with someone.

Edited yesterday at 06:37 AM by integral

[LastThursday]

Everyone is different and needs different levels of stimulation in a relationship. But as you said yourself: 

6 hours ago, Lyubov said:

when this person is gone and you see them out of your life you grieve

That, is what you should focus on. Because here you are acknowledging that the person adds something positive to your life.  You should be reminding yourself every day with gratitude that they choose to be with you and you get to spend your time with them. It is enough. Everything else is a bonus.

 

Edited 20 hours ago by LastThursday

[EternalForest]

Ironically, this only happens to me in short lived relationships (a year or less). My long term relationships are pretty steady, with the occasional new project or hangout idea to shake things up every few months.

[Princess Arabia]

10 hours ago, Lyubov said:

on one side you see yourself as trapped and create emotions of discomfort “I must leave this relationship”

Hmmm, be careful what you wish for. 

[Princess Arabia]

8 hours ago, integral said:

Sex is a mental game with yourself, erections and arousal is a mental game with yourself. It’s not dependent on what whether your partner could stimulate you.

You guys have it backwards it’s not your partners job to stimulate you, you have to arouse yourself by creating fantasy and excitement in your mind.

after you master yourself, you have to master her.

The more intense you are the more intense it will be for her…

Ravage her at every level (intimacy, emotionally, intellectually, physically)….

If you guys are getting bored it’s cause you suck at connection, and you think connection is this soft one dimensional thing. When there’s 1000 ways to connect with someone.

❤️

[Lyubov]

13 hours ago, LastThursday said:

That, is what you should focus on. Because here you are acknowledging that the person adds something positive to your life.  You should be reminding yourself every day with gratitude that they choose to be with you and you get to spend your time with them. It is enough. Everything else is a bonus.

I agree with you. It’s so easy to let things stagnate out of stories and beliefs based on limitations. Very easy to go back and forth on the pendulum. I am focusing on letting go and seeing how that most of the limitations in the relationship have been imposed by myself through beliefs. I mean we may separate if we choose different paths but any sort of incompatibility is largely due to holding back.