Spiritual men's retreats are underrated

[Daniel123]

So I just recently came back from a 6-day men's retreat. I am not talking about the kind of Andrew Tate pickup be a manly man stuff, but a very loving, open space for men to share their experiences, scars and emotionally open up to each other about their challenges and struggles.

I wanted to write a short review, because I don't see a lot of talk about this kind of thing and at least for me it gave a whole new understanding and sense of community, emotional openness, connection and vulnerability. I hope this will benefit someone.

Structure of the retreat

The retreat took place on Ibiza in a wonderful serene place on the island. There were 8 participants and another 6 staff members doing various jobs, so a very intimate, small group. The schedule included meditations, breathwork (holotropic and other), giving and receiving physical therapy to each other, a workshop on ancestral healing and three psychedelic ceremonies - 2x magic mushrooms (1,5g and 3g) and a hike with san pedro.

Before the retreat

In my spiritual journey, I feel like I overemphasized the feminine aspect a bit too much. Allowing and cultivating this feminine energy was very beneficial for me, but I felt like I lacked the more masculine energy and wanted to balance it out a bit. I didn't really know what to expect from this kind of retreat, but it just felt right to go. I also often feel quite isolated and like I don't fit in quite easily with groups - especially men's groups, so this was another challenge to myself to overcome this apprehension in this kind of setting.

Inside the retreat

In the beginning of the retreat, it was strangers aged 28 to 67 coming together in an interesting setting from widely different backgrounds. There was an atmosphere of carefully getting to know each other, but staying at a safe distance to each other physically and emotionally. After the first few rounds of personal sharing circles though, it became apparent, how similar the wound is that men share, expressing itself in various ways. Common themes were the feelings of being isolated, not being enough and not being able to live up to the expectations of those around them. There was also kind of a collective wound created by women, be it not being loved enough by the mother, being emotionally abused by a partner, the death of a long-term wife etc. I feel like this is part of being a man and almost nobody is openly admitting to feeling this way. Being able to share this so freely was such a relief in and of itself. But importantly, it was not about casting blame on women in any way, but recognizing the wound while also taking responsibility for healing.

Over time, slowly the walls broke down more and more and everyone started sharing their innermost feelings, their pain, their traumas. It was okay to give a hug, to touch, to cry, to console, to talk and to deeply listen. This really transformed my view of what healthy masculinity looks like and what it is like to be part of a tribe, part of a brotherhood that formed such a strong bond over just six days. It is really astounding the connection you can build in such a short time if you dare to share and be vulnerable with others. The fact that no women were part of the group allowed everyone to freely talk about sensitive topics without any instinctual need for competition or fear of being judged by the other sex, so this was a really safe container. I feel like women naturally have this kind of space, and it is socially accepted, while for men it is very uncommon to have someone to share these things with openly.

Sharing both mushroom ceremonies with the group was an intimate experience. Especially on the higher dose I felt the connection with the others so deeply and I did a lot of emotional purging while my own struggles came to the surface.

The san pedro hike was very special for me as well. The cactus has such a subtle, masculine energy, it fit the occasion so well. Every step on the hike felt like a metaphor for growing up and finding my place in this world as a man. I really like this substance / plant.

After the retreat

I left the event with such renewed hope, connection and sense of belonging like I never felt before in my life. It also gave me a sense of direction for my life and what is really important to me. Sharing something that has been hidden deep inside of me with other men left me feeling lighter and like a burden has been lifted off my chest. I feel like I can become a better boyfriend / brother / man in the future and I will cherish this experience for a long time.

I don't want to make this too long, so I will keep it at that. All in all, it was a wonderful experience and I really recommend it!

[integration journey]

Was it expensive? 

[Princess Arabia]

Very nice. Glad you had this wonderful experience. Sounds like a life-changing experience that had positive impacts and was well worth the trip.