Giving up on pick up.

[Princess Arabia]

4 hours ago, Majed said:

@Leo Gura It ain't a reliable strategy from my experience at the coffee shop, you can't just hit on customers the way you do with pick up, your game has to be much less direct and straightforward. Plus at work you aren't anonymous, which makes it not a reliable strategy, i wouldn't bet on it to get laid. Plus i want to explore sexuality with many different people not just one. And i also enjoy pick up a lot, i love approaching, flirting, being intentional... I got so much experience and value from pick up, in the sense that it changed my worldview a lot in radically new ways, and i saw possibilities i couldn't have imagined in the past, like one time i hit on a famous girl on instagram (now she has like 1,7 million followers, but at the time she had 600 000 followers), i didn't know that though, and i flirted with her and was a bit cocky and all that, she didn't give me her number, she gave her instagram, i didn't have internet when i was with her so i couldn't check her account before i was at home. Btw why do you think she gave me her instagram if she had so much followers and obviously wouldn't respond to my messages ? 

anywho also other possibilities like multiple times i made out with 10 girls in one night at the club... I attracted and reached hook point with so many girls, it's crazy, how much value i got out of pick up and so much joy and exploration.

This explains everything. You don't want a relationship. You really don't even care if you have sex or not, that's just a bonus. You're attracted to the chase. The thrill of the ride. You get bored easily and love the whole "who will it be next" thing. She gave you her Instagram because she knew she was just a novelty to you and wouldn't see you again, plus it's a way to get more followers. You're playing the same game she's playing. You get a kick from the chase and the actual playing the game is exciting for you.....until it's not....and becomes overwhelming and tiring. Then you come on here, the dumping ground, to complain and explain to everybody why they're wrong. 

[LifeEnjoyer]

Your stories really touched me. Thanks for sharing @Emerald

My journey was kind of similar, I actually was popular in elementary school and seen as the class clown but then as I developed an ego and shit I quickly became unpopular. That same spotlight that brought out my authentic, funny, playful self, also exacerbated my insecurities. It wasn't until college where I was able to overcome some of these and start to bloom. High school was particular hellish, and we were in lockdown for the middle of it! I quickly grew an addiction to marijuana just to feel "normal." Sad stuff, but in retrospect I'm glad I went through this shit early so that way I'm not a 20 year old still whining and bitching about all the stuff that happened to us.

So yeah, I really appreciate it.

[Majed]

@Princess Arabia Yeah i love the game of seduction.

[Yimpa]

[Schizophonia]

@Emerald

I projected that these difficulties essentially occurred later, probably because boys have later puberty.

What you say is not incompatible with the Oedipus complex, and in fact, the Oedipus complex is common but still relative, so we should rather call it the "phallus complex" or something like that if we absolutely wanted to be general; Nevermind.

Freud said that neurosis indeed began during pre-puberty during the transition to the phallic stage, but also that the poor resolution of the Oedipus complex was also, sometimes especially, influenced by earlier events.

Hysterics would have been "forced to give pleasure" (by sexual abuse, for example), while obsessives (stoic response, with a pseudo-rigorous attitude, etc.) would have derived pleasure from a similar event but would have concluded that it was shameful.

 

I'm very, very close to you on certain points, particularly the tendency toward paranoia/thinking you're the center of the universe as you describe it, stoicism, etc.

When I thought of my parents on psychedelics, I saw them with bulging eyes, making love or something like that, I saw hair everywhere, and there was an atmosphere that wasn't even "dirty," but "low."

The "normal" and "thoughtless" vibe, as if life were a simple little game where we garden, where we make raspberry tarts with a smile and sometimes a bad guy comes and attacks us, or a bad event happens, and we get hurt (if you see what i mean lol, i want to give an holistic psychedelic-like image); I intuitively have a certain contempt for this frequency and I pathologically play on opposite frequencies, like "the world is on my shoulders," "I have to be perfect," etc.;

I don't know exactly where it comes from at the moment, and in fact, I should spend less time thinking about all this.

 

Edited 20 hours ago by Schizophonia

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Majed said:

@Princess Arabia Yeah i love the game of seduction.

Least you seem honest. 

[Schizophonia]

1 minute ago, Princess Arabia said:

Least you seem honest. 

Not me.

It's a waste of time, it's exhausting.

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, Schizophonia said:

Not me.

It's a waste of time, it's exhausting.

Being human is exhausting. Keeping up the charade is exhausting. It's so fucked up that even trying to let go is exhausting. Surrendering is exhausting. Trying not doing anything is exhausting 'cause you're still trying not to do anything. 

[integral]

29 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Least you seem honest. 

He’s wants to be player and he’s complaining that he is not good at the game.

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, integral said:

He’s wants to be player and he’s complaining that he is not good at the game.

😏

[Schizophonia]

13 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Being human is exhausting. Keeping up the charade is exhausting. It's so fucked up that even trying to let go is exhausting. Surrendering is exhausting. Trying not doing anything is exhausting 'cause you're still trying not to do anything. 

You've grasped the underlying energy of my message: I have been desperate in love and mistreated by the maya (myself) in various ways, it was just a little excess of frustration I'm not going to lie and pretend otherwise, but now it's about orienting ourselves towards the concept of self that we don't want, eheh. 

Let's just say, and this is also and above all true, that in any case, I'm relationally sedentary.
Perhaps, surely, this is the case for you too, even if you've been an escort.
We wait for the right person at the right time; we don't want to manifest shit for everyone.
And that's noble. 

Archetype of the prince as Jung would say. 

[Tenebroso]

On 22/03/2025 at 7:02 PM, Schizophonia said:

There are girls who like stable, calm etc men.; Basically half of all girls.
Except these girls tend to be more manic and more like your mother.

The reason I asked you what "your mother was like" is that if the Oedipus complex went badly, you will unconsciously tend to completely avoid the Oedipal temptation.
But here's the problem: The archetypes of women who don't resemble your mother, who therefore escape this repression and on which you will tend to fall back, will conflict with your true libidinal behavior.
In this case, you will see quite narcissistic girls who actually don't like the man you seem to be and prefer the opposite (impulsive or even aggressive) and you will feel frustrated.

You will really want to ruminate on all this; Once again, it is at most half of women, but libidinal repression will push you to believe that it is most women, to avoid the failure of the defense mechanism, without going into details of the why and how.

@Princess Arabia is honest, but in fact, the "Princess Arabia archetype" lol (likes to cook, wears long boots, likes cats 🐸) reminds you of the Oedipus complex, and so you'll tend to avoid her, if you would have the possibility to get closer to her/somebody like her.

The more dysfunctional (narcissistic flaws, hysteria, histrionic syndrome...) your mother was and the more distant your father was, the more you'll experience the phenomenon. This is the heart of obsessive-compulsive neurosis.

The important thing is to understand that you can find women who are more or less close to the maternal figure (if your libido is close to it, it is not that men systematically want a copy of their mother) but who are not as dysfunctional and/or uncontrollable, and that you will in any case have much more control over the same archetype, even if turbulent, in the place of the fiancé than of the son.

My experience with both archetypes of women is mostly negative. Neither seem to like me. Women don't seem to like me period. The few that have are so different from each other that it is hard to discern a pattern. However, this is helpful. Thanks.