Giving up on pick up.

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

Just continue to try until you get some. And if you don't, well, make peace with being a virgin for the rest of your life. Or start making money and keep visiting prostitutes and try to marry one of them. Like that guy from Pretty Woman, you know, be a mister save-a-hoe

It is just a fact of life that for some men, rizzing up women is like going on a stroll on a nice Saturday morning, while for other men it is like the labour of Sisyphus

[Tenebroso]

1 hour ago, CARDOZZO said:

@Tenebroso

Have you tried your own advice?

I'm asking to understand your POV.

Being a liar, aggressive manipulator and narcissist really make woman wet? 

I am not any of those things but I have been in street fights in situations where I had no choice but to defend myself and there is a startling primal shift in behaviour when women have seen you fight.

Also I am not a bad boy at all, I am mostly shy and unsure of myself but I have been told by a close friend that my quietness comes across as a quiet aloofness and some women find it alluring.

I am often moody and sarcastic and when I am in that mood I can become quite rude. I remember once telling this girl at University to get on her knees in the library. I was in a bad mood and wanted to say something to make her go away thinking "of course she won't get on her knees in front of everyone in the library but she will leave me alone" This young woman who is now married to a Swedish Priest, got on her knees in the library.

Basically I am not popular with women. I have never pretended to be someone I am not on here. However, the times I have managed to attract a woman have never been for what many consider positive qualities. Some of directly said they like me because I don't treat them well. My kind, sensitive, light hearted side has never attracted a woman. 

Let me guess my experiences mean nothing......

Edited Saturday at 06:42 PM by Tenebroso

[Schizophonia]

3 minutes ago, Tenebroso said:

I am not any of those things but I have been in street fights in situations where I had no choice but to defend myself and there is a startling primal shift in behaviour when women have seen you fight.

Also I am not a bad boy at all or but I am mostly shy and unsure of myself but I have been told by a close friend that my quietness comes across as a quiet aloofness and some women find it alluring.

I am often moody and sarcastic and when I am in that mood I can become quite rude. I remember once telling this girl at University to get on her knees in the library. I was in a bad mood and wanted to say something to make her go away thinking "of course she won't get on her knees, in front of everyone in the library but she will leave me alone" This young woman who is now married to a Swedish priests, got on her knees in the library.

Basically I am not popular with women. I have never pretended to be someone I am not on here. However, the times I have managed to attract a woman have never been for what many consider positive qualities. Some of directly said they like me because I don't treat them well. My kind, sensitive, light hearted side has never attracted a woman. 

Let me guess my experiences mean nothing......

How was your mother ? 

[Tenebroso]

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

Wow, serial killers must be in the thousands and millions and roaming the streets. Dude, check your logics and see they don't even match up or make sense. Just because you met one like this, doesn't make it the norm. Just because you've seen women go for gangsters and rapists and "bad" men, doesn't mean most do. You are one out of 8 fucking billion. 

Try to see how we see the world how we are and that we have a tendency to think the world is only how we see it. It's natural. Be one up on the show to recognize how it's all your perceptions and not how things actually are on the whole. There's a situation for every scenario but we'll tend to only see the ones we believe in because that's just how the brain works and how the illusion becomes objective. Understand this and you'll start to open the mind go see other perspectives and not get so caught up in your dream state. Not denying your experiences, just saying you're seeing them as truth and cannot see it any other way.

So kind, reserved, sensitive men who need a hug are popular with women in your reality?

Since reality is so dependent on our beliefs and everyone is sharing their experiences on this forum there should be stories of the kind of men I describe being incredibly popular after all if the serial killers can attract women why wouldn't the shy guy? Where is that reality? Why is it on every dating forum across and across social media women themselves speak of the allure of men who they know are bad for them. I never see these kinds of videos for the average, sensitive man just trying to figure things out.

Edited Saturday at 06:38 PM by Tenebroso

[Tenebroso]

10 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

How was your mother ? 

Selfless, artistic, funny, charismatic but manipulative. Why? Are you trying to psychoanalyze me?

[Princess Arabia]

20 minutes ago, Tenebroso said:

Why is it on every dating forum across and across social media women themselves speak of the allure of men who they know are bad for them.

A narcissist can be bad for a woman, doesn't make him a serial killer. I was responding to the serial killer part and mentioned rapists and "bad" men in those categories not just men who are emotionally bad for women. Women love to "fix" men or believe he'll change for her, so that's nothing new or finds excitement and allure in bad boys; far cry from serial killers and rapists.

Also it goes both ways where men are constantly going for the 'bitch" because she's more challenging only to get annoyed with them after a while. Believe it or not, nice girls also finish last sometimes and initially. It's the looks that men gravitate more towards bitchy or not, a menace or not, a pain in the ass or not. It's just easier for us to be chosen because men are more visual creatures and first thing seen is one's appearance. Guys usually have to be more than just a body. Guys get bored with nice, quiet women too, with high morals. Why do you think OF and porn sells.

Edited Saturday at 06:57 PM by Princess Arabia

[Letho]

This echo chamber could drop an album, grammy award winning Reddit style. Good call ditching pickup however you're still playing checkers, barely it seems though. Truth is, half those girls you’re sweating over are already running from their own shadows; you're just the excuse. Funny thing is, you’ve overlooked every quiet smile in the room, distracted by louder insecurities or rejecting women for the very same reasons you complain about women over, including the other guys here. You must dedicate yourself to developing self and social awareness for greater depth in your relationships, and you get guidance by reviewing recent posting history of mine. Step outside of yourself, learn to feel the rhythm beneath the noise within others and you'll realize this internal game you're playing was never about you, it never was; these women, many of them have highly complex worlds, and yet here you are, totally just wrapped up in whether a random cold approach is going to work rather than not treating the woman as if she's a robot. I’ve had spontaneous wild moments,yes, however with women who lived in echo chambers of their own. Beautiful but vacant. And if that’s your benchmark for success? Your bar is buried underground. Once you take the ego needle out of your arm and instead decide to make life itself the drug you're going to feed yourself, you won't have to entertain these games your ego invented by itself, manipulated by conformist ideologies you'll have unplugged from and plugged into the signal that connects you to the deeper realities of humanity as a whole. You meet the women you're meant to meet by simply being dedicated to your own path in life.

Edited Saturday at 07:01 PM by Letho

[Schizophonia]

8 minutes ago, Tenebroso said:

Selfless, artistic, funny, charismatic but manipulative. Why? Are you trying to psychoanalyze me?

There are girls who like stable, calm etc men.; Basically half of all girls.
Except these girls tend to be more manic and more like your mother.

The reason I asked you what "your mother was like" is that if the Oedipus complex went badly, you will unconsciously tend to completely avoid the Oedipal temptation.
But here's the problem: The archetypes of women who don't resemble your mother, who therefore escape this repression and on which you will tend to fall back, will conflict with your true libidinal behavior.
In this case, you will see quite narcissistic girls who actually don't like the man you seem to be and prefer the opposite (impulsive or even aggressive) and you will feel frustrated.

You will really want to ruminate on all this; Once again, it is at most half of women, but libidinal repression will push you to believe that it is most women, to avoid the failure of the defense mechanism, without going into details of the why and how.

@Princess Arabia is honest, but in fact, the "Princess Arabia archetype" lol (likes to cook, wears long boots, likes cats 🐸) reminds you of the Oedipus complex, and so you'll tend to avoid her, if you would have the possibility to get closer to her/somebody like her.

The more dysfunctional (narcissistic flaws, hysteria, histrionic syndrome...) your mother was and the more distant your father was, the more you'll experience the phenomenon. This is the heart of obsessive-compulsive neurosis.

The important thing is to understand that you can find women who are more or less close to the maternal figure (if your libido is close to it, it is not that men systematically want a copy of their mother) but who are not as dysfunctional and/or uncontrollable, and that you will in any case have much more control over the same archetype, even if turbulent, in the place of the fiancé than of the son.

[Princess Arabia]

30 minutes ago, Tenebroso said:

I am not any of those things but I have been in street fights in situations where I had no choice but to defend myself and there is a startling primal shift in behaviour when women have seen you fight.

Also I am not a bad boy at all, I am mostly shy and unsure of myself but I have been told by a close friend that my quietness comes across as a quiet aloofness and some women find it alluring.

I am often moody and sarcastic and when I am in that mood I can become quite rude. I remember once telling this girl at University to get on her knees in the library. I was in a bad mood and wanted to say something to make her go away thinking "of course she won't get on her knees in front of everyone in the library but she will leave me alone" This young woman who is now married to a Swedish Priest, got on her knees in the library.

Basically I am not popular with women. I have never pretended to be someone I am not on here. However, the times I have managed to attract a woman have never been for what many consider positive qualities. Some of directly said they like me because I don't treat them well. My kind, sensitive, light hearted side has never attracted a woman. 

Let me guess my experiences mean nothing......

I think you do have a point in some of the things you're saying. Not your experiences because they are obviously the case, but your interpretations of them. However, what I think you fail to realize is that a lot of people have been traumatized, are unstable even though they function well in society. People's attractor-factor may not be of a "healthy" nature and they gravitate more towards behaviors that aren't necessarily good for them.

When you generalize and group what you see into "just how women are", it tends to veil your way of seeing women in general and now you think all or most women are like that or even that you have to mend your ways in order to attract the dysfunction. Obviously, being attracted to serial killers and rapists and people who aren't normally considered "good for anyone" is dysfunctional and you seem to be complaining about how you're not a part of that dysfunction. If I thought that most men were only attracted to bitches bad women of low calibre and air heads, I wouldn't complain about men for that, I'd just keep it moving until I found someone who likes me for who I am and that I feel comfortable being myself around and i wouldn't group all men into that category.

[Bando]

@Majed If you've really done thousands of approaches and your still a virign thats a BIG problem. Nobody else is saying it but I will, its 1 of 2 things, your Appearance or your Vibe. 

On 3/21/2025 at 8:09 PM, Majed said:

Is it my fault i was born with a body that craves sex without being able to ever satisfy this need ?

Try looking into escorts you don't need to consider rape to get sex from a woman lol, its legal in your country. Maybe its your desperation for sex women can smell off you thats putting them off

[integral]

7 hours ago, Tenebroso said:

I am not any of those things but I have been in street fights in situations where I had no choice but to defend myself and there is a startling primal shift in behaviour when women have seen you fight.

Also I am not a bad boy at all, I am mostly shy and unsure of myself but I have been told by a close friend that my quietness comes across as a quiet aloofness and some women find it alluring.

I am often moody and sarcastic and when I am in that mood I can become quite rude. I remember once telling this girl at University to get on her knees in the library. I was in a bad mood and wanted to say something to make her go away thinking "of course she won't get on her knees in front of everyone in the library but she will leave me alone" This young woman who is now married to a Swedish Priest, got on her knees in the library.

Basically I am not popular with women. I have never pretended to be someone I am not on here. However, the times I have managed to attract a woman have never been for what many consider positive qualities. Some of directly said they like me because I don't treat them well. My kind, sensitive, light hearted side has never attracted a woman. 

Let me guess my experiences mean nothing......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MQ0OyEyKfM

There are bad guy traits and good guy traits. They want both in one human.

Women are attracted lustfully to Bad Boy traits and they feel treated well by people who have good Guy traits. 

 

100% bad boy + 0% good guy = Fuck boy and dump or abusive relationship she regrets.

0% bad boy + 100% good guy = Friend Zoned + using you for emotional support or money.

100% bad boy + 100% good guy = Prince Charming + Marriage + Best of everything.

0% bad boy + 0% good guy = Ghost.

Edited Sunday at 02:16 AM by integral

[integral]

On 3/21/2025 at 8:09 PM, Majed said:

21 years old virgin, keep failing at pick up despite thousands of approaches. It's just that there's something wrong with life, at this point. I just don't understand what more should i do to get girls. I guess the problem with pick up is that it's seen as creepy to talk to strangers, it's just uncomfortable and unnatural, people naturally just want to talk to people they already know. I'm tired of failure. There must be something wrong with this world, man, i just don't get it at this point.

Abstinence is torture and doesn't work. And when you try to take responsibility and fix your sex life, it also doesn't work. What should i do ? Go and rape a girl then? I just hate life because of this problem, all i do is think about girls and all i get is rejections. Is it my fault i was born with a body that craves sex without being able to ever satisfy this need ?

If you are feeling amazing before you speak to someone everything you say after that will be said exactly on point naturally and you won't even have to try.

If you're feeling good, if you're feeling confident, if you have no expectations, if you're in a playful mood, if you're in a talkative mood, if you're in a creative mood => everything you say and do will naturally come off as attractive, inviting, comfortable, and people will be drawn to you.

You want to make them feel a certain way and that can only be achieved if you feel that way.

How you feel determines how they will feel.

IT CANNOT BE FACKED.

Edited Sunday at 02:30 AM by integral

[Leo Gura]

1) Move to a huge city with good nightlife, where game works.

2) Hire an experienced coach who can watch you approach and correct your mistakes. Or find free experienced wingmen.

To do this, work on getting a good job and developing your finances so you can afford such things and have more freedom.

For pickup to work it has to be done in the correct ways, not just anything goes.

Just joining lots of social activities is good alternative. Join social events, dance classses, yoga classes, festivals, parties, college events, etc. And socialize with everyone there.

Edited Sunday at 02:43 AM by Leo Gura

[Sandhu]

Sometimes you need to find solutions by on your own. Most probably you're from a culture where pickup wouldn't work or even can be dangerous  (like my situation). In less developed places, people are more into survival mode so a stranger approaching them seems like an implicit intrusion. 

In less developed places, where people are comparatively poor, for dating success your Status will matter the most other things are secondary because that's what women's survival demanding the most, they are desperate for raising their life standards. Get your finances together and be rich than your surroundings then see the magic ( telling you from experience). Though even you can still get success by faking your status but that's gonna be very shallow experiences. 

And lastly I can empathise with your situation. At 21, you are crazily horny and desperate and most of your thoughts will be about girls but mate don't do something stupid. You'll regret it for your life.

[Sugarcoat]

Maybe try the more organic route of developing a social circle and finding girls that way. 

[Majed]

@Leo Gura I chose to quit high school because it was torture. Now i work with my dad, we have a coffee shop and when i finish learning everything i need to know about the craft, we're planning on opening my own coffee shop. So yeah i don't know seems like i can't move to another city for now. Also i was wondering if my pain due to not being able to sleep with girls is related to something in my brain chemistry, i was diagnosed with ocd, adhd, and bipolar, and so sometimes i am very happy and i don't care at all about girls, and other times i'm very miserable and depressed because i am not sleeping with girls, is it because of my mental health, or is it just normal for men who don't sleep with women to feel that way ?

[Hugo Oliveira]

It’s not ideal to receive a lot of technical advice when the situation requires a deeper approach.

@Majed, I’m sorry you’re going through this, and I hope your life improves soon.

Here’s what I would recommend:

Unconditional compassion – Recognize that life embraces everything. The “wrongness” of the situation is not absolute.

Dehypnotize yourself – This is crucial. The internet, YouTube videos, Instagram, drinking, porn, and online forums can brainwash you. They can make you feel insane, needy, and desperate without you even realizing it. And be especially cautious with coaches—they can end up re-traumatizing you.

Take a break – Find ways to be happy with yourself and with life beyond women, at least for a while. Get into a hobby, a nice sport, something artistic, or whatever interests you. If nothing excites you, push yourself to find something.

Self-care – Prioritize your physical and psychological health.

Come back stronger – Return to this forum and teach us how to make a woman go crazy for you. Learn about it slowly, lovingly, and intelligently—rather than rushing out and asking a hundred girls out. Don’t assume you know everything. Learn through your own experiences and develop your own approach.

P.S. You’re still young as hell. Don’t fool yourself, and don’t let yourself be fooled.

[Princess Arabia]

14 hours ago, integral said:

If you are feeling amazing before you speak to someone everything you say after that will be said exactly on point naturally and you won't even have to try.

If you're feeling good, if you're feeling confident, if you have no expectations, if you're in a playful mood, if you're in a talkative mood, if you're in a creative mood => everything you say and do will naturally come off as attractive, inviting, comfortable, and people will be drawn to you.

You want to make them feel a certain way and that can only be achieved if you feel that way.

How you feel determines how they will feel.

IT CANNOT BE FACKED.

Yes, this is exactly how it works. So on point. Energy at play. Energetic response at play. The feeling is the secret. 

[Schizophonia]

22 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

The feeling is the secret. 

O Locker Jr's head making the "shh" sign.*

[Princess Arabia]

21 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

O Locker Jr's head making the "shh" sign.*

I see you've been watching what I used to watch.