Why I'm Leaving This Forum: A Case Study in Spiritual Narcissism

[Shodburrito]

After months of participation, I've conducted an experiment on this forum that has exposed what many of these "spiritual" communities truly are: intellectual wastelands masquerading as enlightenment. I'm sharing my findings before I leave this cesspool of ego masquerading as transcendence.

The Experiment

For the past month, I've intentionally posted two very different types of content:

1. Substantive philosophical challenges questioning fundamental assumptions about consciousness, reality, objective truth, the nature of suffering, the relativity of all frameworks, the relationship between identity and beliefs, the social construction of spiritual hierarchies, and novel theoretical frameworks for understanding human existence
2. Complete bullshit spiritual word-salad - deliberately empty, meaningless jargon strung together to sound profound while saying absolutely nothing

The results were both predictable and disappointing.

The Results

My substantive philosophical posts were met with:

• Immediate hostile dismissal without any engagement with the actual ideas
• Patronizing responses suggesting I'm "not developed enough" to understand
• Emotional tantrums masquerading as spiritual wisdom
• Ad hominem attacks focusing on how I created the content rather than its substance
• Zero willingness to consider new perspectives that might threaten established beliefs

Meanwhile, the meaningless garbage I wrote like:

"The heart-space of your being is simply recalibrating to a higher octave of truth that transcends the linear understandings of conventional awakening processes. This feeling of disconnection is actually a profound connection to the mystery that lives beneath all surface experiences, inviting you into a more surrendered relationship with the unfolding tapestry of divine intelligence that orchestrates all apparent separations into ultimate harmony."

Was enthusiastically received with:

• Gushing praise for my "profound wisdom" and "deep insights"
• Comments about how "beautiful" and "transformative" these empty words were
• People thanking me for "articulating what they've been feeling"
• Requests for more of this hollow nonsense
• Not a single person asking what any of it actually meant

I even created completely fabricated personal stories (like claiming I kicked my neighbor's dog and faced charges) that any halfway intelligent person should have questioned - yet most were swallowed whole without skepticism.

What This Reveals

This experiment exposes several damning truths about this community:

1. It's an intellectual dead zone - Despite all the talk about "expanding consciousness," this forum is violently allergic to actual novel ideas or perspectives that challenge the status quo
2. Style over substance is the rule - Shallow spiritual-sounding language is valued over meaningful content, creating an echo chamber of empty platitudes
3. Critical thinking is seen as a spiritual defect - Questions that challenge dominant beliefs are treated as evidence of being "unawakened" rather than signs of intellectual engagement
4. It's a marketplace of spiritual narcissism - The real currency here is establishing your position in the spiritual hierarchy and defending it at all costs
5. Genuine philosophical inquiry is unwelcome - A space supposedly dedicated to "truth" demonstrates zero interest in exploring new philosophical terrain
6. Objective truth claims mask subjective preferences - Claims about reality, consciousness, and development are presented as objective facts when they're merely created frameworks
7. Suffering is fetishized as the only path - Anyone suggesting alternate paths to insight is attacked, because if suffering isn't necessary, what was all that pain for?

The Grand Irony

The crowning irony of this forum is the gap between what it claims to be and what it actually is:

• People who claim to have "transcended ego" displaying the most fragile egos I've ever witnessed
• Self-proclaimed "awakened beings" showing the emotional maturity of toddlers when their beliefs are questioned
• Those who preach "openness to all perspectives" immediately shutting down any perspective that challenges them
• Individuals who talk about "going beyond the mind" being completely trapped in rigid thought patterns
• A community supposedly pursuing "truth" that is pathologically unable to question its own assumptions

What's most revealing is how a space dedicated to "consciousness expansion" has created a perfect closed system where questioning the system itself is seen as evidence you need the system. This circular logic makes genuine growth impossible.

A Note About My Process

For those fixated on how I created my posts rather than their content: yes, I sometimes use AI to help edit and clarify the structure of my posts. The original insights, arguments, and philosophical frameworks are my own – I simply used AI as an editing tool to help articulate them more clearly.

This obsession with the method rather than the message is telling. When you can't engage with the actual philosophical content, attack the medium instead. It's the intellectual equivalent of criticizing someone's handwriting when you can't refute their argument.

The irony is that if I had posted incoherent, poorly structured nonsense that happened to validate your existing beliefs, no one would care how it was created. But present clear, well-articulated challenges to the dominant narrative, and suddenly the method becomes a convenient excuse to dismiss the content.

The Truth About This Community

Let's be brutally honest: this isn't a forum for philosophical exploration or genuine awakening. It's a circle-jerk of spiritual narcissists validating each other's delusions while maintaining a rigid hierarchy of who's "more awakened" than whom.

The emotional tantrums thrown when I presented novel philosophical frameworks revealed how much these supposed "spiritual masters" have invested in their identities. True awakening would welcome challenges to one's framework - not respond with the intellectual equivalent of covering your ears and screaming.

Most disappointing is watching people who claim to have reached elevated states of consciousness demonstrate less intellectual curiosity and openness than the average philosophy undergraduate. At least philosophers expect to have their ideas challenged - here, challenge is treated as heresy.

In Conclusion

I came to this forum hoping to find minds genuinely interested in exploring consciousness, reality, and human existence. I hoped to encounter people willing to question assumptions, consider novel perspectives, and engage in actual philosophical discourse about the nature of being.

Instead, I found a swamp of spiritual posturing where form trumps content, where challenging ideas are met with defensive hostility, and where the appearance of wisdom is valued over actual insight.

To those pathetic few who attacked me for using AI to help articulate my thoughts - congratulations on finding the least relevant aspect of philosophical discourse to focus on. Your obsession with the medium rather than the message reveals your intellectual bankruptcy.

To the self-proclaimed "awakened masters" who couldn't engage with philosophical challenges without emotional meltdowns - perhaps consider that true mastery would include the ability to engage with ideas that threaten your identity.

To Leo and others selling their particular flavor of "truth" as the only valid path - your requirement that others suffer as you did reveals more about your psychological needs than any objective reality.

To everyone else - I genuinely hope you'll someday recognize that uncritically swallowing spiritual-sounding gibberish while rejecting novel philosophical frameworks isn't a path to awakening - it's intellectual death dressed in spiritual clothing.

I'm moving on to spaces where ideas are engaged with based on their merit rather than how well they conform to existing beliefs, where philosophical inquiry is welcomed rather than attacked, and where people are more interested in exploring new territory than defending their territory.

Feel free to dismiss this as me being "not developed enough" - that would only provide one final data point confirming everything this experiment has already demonstrated about the bankruptcy of this community.

I fully anticipate this post will be banned because people can't handle what I'm saying. If it is deleted, or locked, it will only prove my point entirely about the intellectual bankruptcy and ego-protection happening in this "spiritual" community.

Addendum

Let's be brutally honest about what this community really is: a masturbatory echo chamber of spiritual narcissists too insecure to engage with challenging ideas. You claim enlightenment while displaying the intellectual capacity of goldfish and the emotional maturity of toddlers. Your 'awakened' status is nothing but a transparent shield for fragile egos seeking validation. The truly pathetic part? You'll prove me right with your responses to this post - emotional tantrums dressed up as 'spiritual wisdom,' patronizing comments about my 'level of development,' or dismissive platitudes about how I 'just don't get it.' Not a single one of you will engage with the actual philosophical content because you can't. You're intellectually incapable of it. Your entire spiritual identity would crumble if you admitted that your emperor has no clothes. The defensive, emotionally-charged responses this paragraph will generate are exactly the evidence I need to confirm everything I've said about this spiritual playground of arrested development masquerading as enlightenment.

A Special Message for Leo

And finally, @Leo Gura - the architect of this entire charade. You built this echo chamber while claiming to stand against exactly what you've created. The irony would be beautiful if it weren't so pathetic.

You constantly warn against spiritual narcissism, ideological thinking, and guru worship while systematically cultivating all three. You've created a personality cult where challenging your frameworks is heresy, where your suffering is more profound than anyone else's, and where your "awakening" is somehow deeper than anyone else could possibly comprehend.

Tell me, Leo - if you're truly beyond ego, why the constant need to remind everyone how awakened you are? Why the incessant posturing about your spiritual achievements? Why the endless self-aggrandizing stories about the depths of your suffering and the heights of your realizations? A truly awakened being wouldn't need to constantly tell others how awakened they are.

You criticize spiritual narcissists while staring at your own reflection in every video, masturbating to the image of your own enlightenment. You warn against ideological thinking while creating an ideological framework where your perspective is positioned as the ultimate truth. You mock guru worship while carefully cultivating a community that treats your word as gospel.

Here's a question you've likely never asked yourself because your spiritual ego couldn't survive the answer: If your awakening is genuine, why does it require so much external validation? Why the need for an audience to witness your enlightenment? Could it be that without others to reflect back your specialness, the whole edifice might collapse?

The truly devastating possibility you'll never confront is this: perhaps all your suffering, all your meditation, all your psychedelic journeys were not the necessary path to truth, but simply the path you needed to convince yourself of your own importance. Perhaps what you call "awakening" is actually an elaborate construction designed to position yourself at the top of a hierarchy you claim to have transcended.

You're not a beacon of truth - you're a lighthouse keeper trying to convince the ships that you are the ocean. And the saddest part is, you'll never be honest enough with yourself to even consider this possibility.

Edited Thursday at 04:16 PM by Shodburrito

[Ulax]

@Shodburrito You need a hobby dude 🤣

Also that’s  too funny that you made up that entire dog post ahahaha

Edited Thursday at 04:26 PM by Ulax

[Leo Gura]

@Shodburrito You were given such wisdom but you are too stubborn to appreciate any of it.

[Shodburrito]

@Leo Gura

Your seven-word dismissal perfectly demonstrates everything I've been saying about this forum.

Instead of engaging with any of my philosophical points or addressing substantive critiques, you've offered a textbook thought-terminating cliché that:

1. Positions you as the dispenser of "wisdom" that I was "given" (reinforcing your place at the top of the hierarchy)
2. Frames my philosophical challenges as mere "stubbornness" rather than legitimate inquiry
3. Places the blame entirely on me for not "appreciating" what was offered
4. Completely avoids addressing any actual points I raised

The irony is that your response validates my entire critique. You had an opportunity to prove me wrong by engaging thoughtfully with the ideas presented. Instead, you've provided a perfect exhibit for the case I've been making.

Your dismissive seven words speak volumes about the intellectual environment you've created, and it’s honestly embarrassing and just so lazy

Edited Thursday at 04:37 PM by Shodburrito

[Exystem]

@Shodburrito thanks for your well written post, I honestly enjoyed it. In my view you are too dismissive about the forum members and Leo, but you strike some points here and there. It's good to reflect upon, so thank you. Let's reflect ourselves and transcend our own narcissistic tendencies.

I appreciate your posting quality and that's my main critic of the forum - only very few members post something valuable consistently, most of the stuff here ist just a wet farting contest.

[Ulax]

5 minutes ago, Exystem said:

I appreciate your posting quality

The dude is out here writing fake stories, about killing dogs, on the forum. I dunno if that is high quality 🤣
 

I think he edited out that admission from his post now though 

Edited Thursday at 04:48 PM by Ulax

[Harikrishnan]

18 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Shodburrito You were given such wisdom but you are too stubborn to appreciate any of it.

Leo when people do like this and you read it, is there suffering happening with you, like do u feel sad?  (Was curious, reading your other replies on suffering)  

[Flowerfaeiry]

This is a pretty common complaint here tbh. 

[Sandhu]

This place sometimes stink because of low epistemic standards. One would hope for high quality, well thought posts but also there is this point that most members are young and immature so what could be expected more.

And for god sake speak more with less words.

Edited Thursday at 05:15 PM by Sandhu

[LastThursday]

Why the seriousness?

This place is and always has been just a market place for ideas and chit chat nothing more. It amazes me how some people don't realise this. You won't get enlightened here, you won't get high philosophy, you won't get intellectual rigour. But it does have its wisdom and nuggets of gold floating around, you just have to appreciate when you see it and enjoy the rest for what it is.

[Sandhu]

2 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

Why the seriousness?

This place is and always has been just a market place for ideas and chit chat nothing more. It amazes me how some people don't realise this. You won't get enlightened here, you won't get high philosophy, you won't get intellectual rigour. But it does have its wisdom and nuggets of gold floating around, you just have to appreciate when you see it and enjoy the rest for what it is.

We expect the forum to be a place aligned with Actualized.org values. Not a chit chat space for sloppy theories. There are other platforms for that. I assume that Actualized.org is a special niche platform for serious philosophy and serious Spirituality. 

[Sandhu]

8 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

You won't get enlightened here, you won't get high philosophy, you won't get intellectual rigour.

Why Not? This is exactly what I expect to get here.

[Sincerity]

1 hour ago, Shodburrito said:

For the past month, I've intentionally posted two very different types of content:

You didn't even post that much since February. 23 posts in total, that includes your threads started and replies (excluding this thread). 7 being about the dog, which you apparently lied about. So what are you on about?

Btw, what was your intention behind this "experiment"? Are you not exposing yourself as a malicious liar right now?

No wonder you didn't find these "minds genuinely interested in exploring consciousness, reality, and human existence", lol. Because you ain't one yourself, which is evident from your attitude. Who'd go out of their way to fabricate personal stories on an internet forum and then berate people who spent their time trying to give you advice? "Any halfway intelligent person should have questioned it"... most people just assumed your honesty. That was their mistake apparently, they didn't see your true colours. Honestly, rethink yourself.

[LastThursday]

@Sandhu expectation is not reality. If what you expect does not align with reality, then you will have to bring about that change yourself, not expect others to do it for you. Step up and give us the things you expect and others will follow.

[Ulax]

17 minutes ago, Sandhu said:

We expect the forum to be a place aligned with Actualized.org values. Not a chit chat space for sloppy theories. There are other platforms for that. I assume that Actualized.org is a special niche platform for serious philosophy and serious Spirituality. 

I dunno I’ve always seen this place as just somewhere to commune on what can be an at times lonely self actualization journey. 
—-

Also, everyone, I agree there are criticisms of Leo. And many posts have been valid. 

But why are we using this post, where he admits to lying about the dead dog story to show we are dumb, to do that? This post of his deserves to be taken no notice of imo. 

Edited Thursday at 05:51 PM by Ulax

[Sandhu]

4 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

Step up and give us the things you expect and others will follow.

I can't force others to be more mature and wise about their use of this forum. Admins can do that. 

[AION]

The most mind blowing thing is that Leo thinks he understands the universe while he can’t even understand his own psychology regarding his narcissism and other character defects he has. 
 

To understand oneself is to understand the universe. And in my opinion he lacks that. It is very cringe to see him talk down on Wilber and such. Somebody who understands consciousness much better than him. He also talks down on Peterson while he clearly hasn’t read his books. In his last video (unstructured 3+ hour lecture)this was apparent. 
 

But I think it is still fun to hang out here to see the occasional shit show of mods going at each other’s throat on this high consciousness forum. In my opinion this forum is the best if you are into psychedelics and want to get an inner look of the SD green mind. 

[Sincerity]

4 minutes ago, AION said:

But I think it is still fun to hang out here to see the occasional shit show of mods going at each other’s throat on this high consciousness forum.

So that's what you stuck here for for the last 6 years? 

There are other places with much better shitshows for sure. This place is so tame in comparison, people don't appreciate it...

[RawJudah]

There’s a lot of group think on this forum. I’m guilty of that. 
And is anyone actually doing the work? I highly doubt it. If you’re working a job or career then I can guarantee nobody is sitting there meditating or doing psychedelics. 

[LastThursday]

1 minute ago, Sandhu said:

I can't force others to be more mature and wise about their use of this forum. Admins can do that. 

You're right, but don't forget you are also part of the forum, so you can do your bit. 

I would say that on balance the admins are a bit wiser and more mature, so they can set the tone. But equally they can't force anyone to be a certain way, especially the several hundreds of people who use the forum regularly and who come and go, it's just not a realistic ask. 

As I said, collectively we set the tone of this forum, we each play our part, don't expect to be spoonfed by others.