Help with vision

[rd5555]

I'm doing this course / process which will give me the complete self confidence i'm after.

But I have a dilemma between what to set as my vision

I used to think, my vision should be around having full self confidence, and this is in fact what I want more than anything in the world, however...

This process is about removing limiting beliefs, and the beliefs don't get weakened through repetitive efforts, it's binary, either they're eliminated or they're still there. 

Comparatively, if the process involved something like talking to strangers, doing public speaking etc, then each extra effort would make me that little bit more confident each time.

But with this course i'm doing, each extra effort doesn't actually make me more confident, it just makes me better at the process, until one day i'll be proficient at the process so that i can remove the beliefs. Hopefully you can see the distinction?

Also, if I base my vision on having the complete confidence I desire, this then becomes an extrinsic motivation, where i'm doing this process in order to get the confidence.

 

The Alternative 

In comparison, if my vision was that I want to master the process, become really proficient at the process, not because of the confidence or the other things, but for the fulfilment of learning this key skill. That's much more intrinsically tied to the process itself, and each extra effort makes me slightly better at the process. (btw, this process doesn't just work for confidence, it works for other areas too).

But as i mentioned at the start, the thing i truly desire is the full self confidence. 



I have tried both of these visions multiple times, 

the full confidence vision doesn't inspire me, and i think because it's extrinsic to the process

but the mastering the process vision doesn't inspire me either, i think because it's just not as compelling to me.


 

 

Edited March 14 by rd5555
adding info

[The Renaissance Man]

@rd5555 Is self-confidence even extrinsic? I don't know, self-confidence is something everyone actually  wants if you think about it, so it's generally an intrinsic motivator. It's not something conceptual, that culture conditioned you to want. Not having it causes everybody lots of pain, and so regardless of your background, if you lack it, you'll deeply crave it. For this reason, self-confidence makes for a nice piece of your vision in my opinion.

It can be useful to see the vision for what it truly is: the vision is less about the process and motivation, but instead about direction. I'm going to make the claim that the MAIN REASON why a vision works is because it gives you clarity over where you want to go in life. And with that clarity, you can start to reverse-engineer plans to get there. It contextualizes your decisions and situations. It informs your plans. That's like having 100x wisdom! And this is a benefit that doesn't account for any motivation, see?

When there's sufficient clarity, motivation comes by itself because you see the connection between each action and the goal.

 

You said it, you desire self-confidence. If the vision doesn't feel authentically yours, trust me, it will be as if you never created it in the first place. It will be invisible for your mind. So now that you found a part of it, maybe the main one, that should now frame your medium-term and short-term plans. Seriously.

And if you want to make it resonate even more, ask why you want self-confidence so badly. You may (maybe not) find a deeper, more specific layer, maybe about social acceptance, dating, friends, charisma, etc. And framing a vision around those would make it even more powerful, if they're the true thing you deeply desire.

[LordFall]

Bro you're overthinking it and have been mislead. Full confidence is just the absence of fear and anxiety, it can even be called presence. Some crackheads have full self confidence. You can achieve it in the next 5 minutes. Maintaining it throughout hardship is of course a different beast altogether. 

What would this full self confidence allow you to do? I would focus on that.