Remaining deeply connected to pickup or porn,

[AION]

29 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Don't listen to Owen on this issue. He's such a gaslighter.

Of course his marriage failed. He was cheating on her constantly and publicly. The poor woman.

You don't need to control women who are in love with you. You just need to respect them and not be a flaming narcissist.

Thanks. I didn’t know that. 

Edited Saturday at 06:45 AM by Leo Gura

[Natasha Tori Maru]

1 hour ago, AION said:

Marriage and dating has changed so much compared to back in the day. It is interesting to ponder what changed. 

Contraception 

[Leo Gura]

Even Bin Laden's wife divorced him. So you guys got no chance

[Wilhelm44]

7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Frankly, when I saw Ralston get divorced I realized that not even the most conscious guy in the world can make marriage work. That was hugely eye-opening for me.

You have no idea what tree you're barking up.

Marriage is a proper bootcamp for growth. I don't think they necessarily fail because of the novelty issue. Once the honeymoon phase is over, there will be periods of hell, when one gets to see the absolute worst of each other. It's important to remember that this a natural part of the process. But at that point it is very tempting to just want to get the hell out of there. There is no where to hide in a marriage. If both parties are not completely willing to take full responsibility for their own bs, there won't be peace. When the peace isn't there, the playfulness goes, and so does the intimacy. And that's when the need for variety becomes more of a thing. The more we heal, and the more present we become, the more we get to see the other person with new eyes, as they reveal subtle aspects of themselves that weren't seen before. It would be interesting to know who initiated the divorce in Ralston's case, and what the actual reasons were. My guess is that his ex wife might still be telling herself that she got married to some kind of narcissist, but the truth is, she just married herself.

Edited Saturday at 07:36 AM by Wilhelm44

[AION]

23 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Contraception 

There was contraception 10-20 years ago. Something else changed which I won't spell out.

[AION]

One clue: power is like a dick. If you don't have any personal power of and in your life you might not have a dick as well.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

7 minutes ago, AION said:

There was contraception 10-20 years ago. Something else changed which I won't spell out.

Gotta define timescale here - I think 'back in the day' isn't precise enough

20 years ago was 2005, so these changes must be very recent ?

Social media? Keeping up with the Jones's gone turbo mode?

Too many options, paralyzed to choose

[AION]

15 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Gotta define timescale here - I think 'back in the day' isn't precise enough

20 years ago was 2005, so these changes must be very recent ?

Social media? Keeping up with the Jones's gone turbo mode?

Too many options, paralyzed to choose

Nowadays I don't think the average man has too many options to get paralyzed from *wink wink*

[Twentyfirst]

You gotta recreate your woman if you don't want the novelty to wear off

[mmKay]

8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Frankly, when I saw Ralston get divorced I realized that not even the most conscious guy in the world can make marriage work. That was hugely eye-opening for me.

You have no idea what tree you're barking up.

What if him being that conscious is  the very thing that actually doesn't allow it to work? What if you need a combination of lowish consciousness, low need for variety, conservative genetics , the ability to derive meaning from loyalty, commitment, devotion, family, serving another human being, a certain cultural background, certain survival challenges where marriage makes sense, leaning towards co-depedency, personalities that actually can make it work ( whether in healthy or very toxic ways) and a set of unquestioned beliefs about the innate importance of it all?

Its like that fallacy where I believed at the very beginning that being high consciousness and developed would get me laid when actually it ended up being very counter productive

[Wilhelm44]

8 minutes ago, mmKay said:

What if him being that conscious is  the very thing that actually doesn't allow it to work? What if you need a combination of lowish consciousness, low need for variety, conservative genetics , the ability to derive meaning from loyalty, commitment, devotion, family, serving another human being, a certain cultural background, certain survival challenges where marriage makes sense, leaning towards co-depedency, personalities that actually can make it work ( whether in healthy or very toxic ways) and a set of unquestioned beliefs about the innate importance of it all?

Its like that fallacy where I believed at the very beginning that being high consciousness and developed would get me laid when actually it ended up being very counter productive

Why not just set the intention of meeting someone else who is also high consciousness ?

[Leo Gura]

28 minutes ago, mmKay said:

What if him being that conscious is  the very thing that actually doesn't allow it to work?

Then that fucking sucks for us cause we are not giving up higher consciousness.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

The pool of potential marriage mates is depressingly small if higher consciousness is a must.

Simply not going to happen by accident without some intentionality behind the endeavor 

I'd imagine, also, one would need to have a strong desire to achieve a new realization through friction with another.

Else the horror of being known wouldn't be worth it

 

[Wilhelm44]

1 hour ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

The pool of potential marriage mates is depressingly small if higher consciousness is a must.

Simply not going to happen by accident without some intentionality behind the endeavor 

I'd imagine, also, one would need to have a strong desire to achieve a new realization through friction with another.

Else the horror of being known wouldn't be worth it

 

That pool is probably bigger than it ever was in history, and it's growing.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

It's still a smaller pool regardless of history 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

44 minutes ago, Wilhelm44 said:

That pool is probably bigger than it ever was in history, and it's growing.

It's still a smaller pool regardless of history 

[Wilhelm44]

13 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

It's still a smaller pool regardless of history 

Of course it's still a minority, but there's definitely a strong upward trend in it's growth, which shows no signs of stopping. There's even some pretty good conscious dating sites these days. https://www.conscioussingles.com/

[Tenebroso]

Maybe women are to not capable of love. Lesbian divorce and domestic violence rates are very high. Any relationship which involves a woman is difficult to maintain.

[integration journey]

This is actually a really good discussion. 

[yetineti]

13 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I can only imagine how much this would be used as an avenue for abuse.

You would never know your partner was verbally abusing the SHIT out of a severed part of you...

Eek

Thankfully, I was kidding. It could be a mess haha. I would not be surprised, in the future, though.

@Natasha Tori Maru