Going crazy after experiencing love on 5-MeO-DMT

[Tristan12]

11 hours ago, OBEler said:

Also your statement "Fear has to be faced, not wished away with psychs." seems unusual because I think there is no better tool out there than psychedelics to face your own fears. 

1 hour ago, RendHeaven said:

8 hours ago, Breathe said:

Doing psychs is not facing your fears. It's just doing psychs.

This is palpably wrong to me.

My deepest trips have all been traumatizing, teetering on total panic/meltdown territory. This is a category of terror beyond anything I've ever experienced as a human. All of my daily mundane fears are an offshoot of this greater primordial fear of confronting Consciousness.

Nothing scares me more than psychs.

I 100% agree. 

 

[Flowerfaeiry]

I don't know you or your full story and whatever but I wanna add that trying to heal yourself with psychedelics is a slippery slope unless you have professional healing experience. Psychedelics are not inherently healing. They can give you deep insights about life but without knowledge of how to apply those lessons there's a big potential to get stuck in this loop of having crazy experiences, but staying in an overall lower vibration. Again, I don't know your particular story but wanted to add my two cents. 

Edited March 15 by Flowerfaeiry

[Tristan12]

6 hours ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

I don't know you or your full story and whatever but I wanna add that trying to heal yourself with psychedelics is a slippery slope unless you have professional healing experience. Psychedelics are not inherently healing. They can give you deep insights about life but without knowledge of how to apply those lessons there's a big potential to get stuck in this loop of having crazy experiences, but staying in an overall lower vibration. Again, I don't know your particular story but wanted to add my two cents. 

I've heard this kind of thing over and over from people. I did ayahuasca for 5 weeks in October and November last year, and I started using psychedelics on my own after that. A lot of the staff at the retreat said this kind of thing, but I don't understand what it means.

I spent years trying to heal myself with other methods before trying psychedelics and none of it worked. The main thing I get out of psychedelics is that it allows me to access my subconscious mind and go deep into my emotions very easily, in a way that is very challenging to do sober. Beyond that, a lot of my knowledge of emotions, inner child work and other things still helps and still gets used.

6 hours ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

without knowledge of how to apply those lessons there's a big potential to get stuck in this loop of having crazy experiences, but staying in an overall lower vibration.

It's specifically this that I don't understand. My main issue is that I have a lot of deep, painful emotions blocked within me from childhood. They need to be processed and integrated. I don't understand what 'lessons' need to be applied beyond just releasing those emotions. I've heard people talk about how important it is to change your lifestyle and habits. In my personal situation, because of how severe my emotional issues are, I cannot change my lifestyle and habits until I first start to feel better. Doing it the other way around does not work for me.

There have been times that I have gotten some healing and results from psychedelics, so I started trying to change my habits for the sake of encouraging integration, but the healing eventually slips away, I start to feel worse again, and then I can't continue with those habits anymore. 

So I really don't understand what this 'knowledge of how to apply the lessons' thing means, and how it leads to healing. I'd appreciate if you could provide some insight.

[Flowerfaeiry]

Aw yeah I know it’s really hard to make sense of all this human stuff we go through. I just have this viewpoint because I went through it myself. Lots of psychedelics, therapists, self help. I was lucky though because I eventually found a healer who really helped me work through my childhood traumas. It’s a journey. 
 

I have a really good feeling that you’re going to have a breakthrough and have a better understanding of how to heal more deeply though. Bless you <3

[Breathe]

8 hours ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

I don't know you or your full story and whatever but I wanna add that trying to heal yourself with psychedelics is a slippery slope unless you have professional healing experience. Psychedelics are not inherently healing. They can give you deep insights about life but without knowledge of how to apply those lessons. 

I second this. This is exactly what I was saying.

1 hour ago, Tristan12 said:

I've heard this kind of thing over and over from people. I did ayahuasca for 5 weeks in October and November last year, and I started using psychedelics on my own after that. A lot of the staff at the retreat said this kind of thing, but I don't understand what it means.

Integration means facing the fears you were made aware of during your trip. If you have social fears, then, tada! Time to make some friends, join some groups, talk to people, go on dates, etc. Psychedelics do not take those fears from you on their own. Think of psychedelics just making you aware of your "stuff". It's up to you to work through it.

Integration also means getting off your bum and doing the things that your heart desires. Most people do not pursue the things they actually want. Most aren't aware of what's holding them back, usually some form of belief or fear or just laziness in general. Again, psychedelics just offers insight into these mechanics and offers clarity into one's true desires.

Often times people don't know what they actually want. If one is conflicted (incompatible desires), psychedelics can offer insight into which is more valuable. Other times people just need to get out there, experiment, and figure out what they like and want. It's up to us to learn about our place in life, what makes it worth living, etc. Life experience is what's called for, not psychedelics (although, nothing wrong with indulging or experimenting with them).

I am pro psychedelics. I've been using them for a LONG time and still do. At this stage in my journey, though, I am very aware of their limitations. There is no substitute for life.

[Breathe]

The other thing I'll add, is that sometimes insight is enough to make permanent change. For very deep fears though, that shit takes time.

[Breathe]

On 3/14/2025 at 10:17 AM, RendHeaven said:

This is palpably wrong to me.

My deepest trips have all been traumatizing, teetering on total panic/meltdown territory. This is a category of terror beyond anything I've ever experienced as a human. All of my daily mundane fears are an offshoot of this greater primordial fear of confronting Consciousness.

Nothing scares me more than psychs.

You're making my point here. If you have a fear of psychedelics, then you have to face that shit.

If you have a fear of consciousness, then you have to face that shit.

I am well aware of this fear of psychs. I have had terrifying trips.

I had my first taste of MALT recently and I sat in a chair for the first 30 minutes scared out of my mind.

 

On 3/14/2025 at 10:45 AM, OBEler said:

so you don't have fears on it or what do you mean? lsd is pretty weak compared to others, maybe you are not so experienced yet. Psychedelics are all about facing your fear and surrender.

 

I would say that psychedelics are about dealing with whatever comes up. Including fear. And yes, that surrender is the name of the game.

I do feel like there's a disconnect though. Here's an example of what I'm saying... Tripping balls in your mom's basement when you're afraid of public speaking at a coliseum is not facing your fears of speaking at a coliseum. You might have insight into your fear. It might help a bit. But thinking that a trip is going to eliminate your fear of speaking in front of 1000s of people is wishful thinking.

On 3/14/2025 at 11:19 AM, Tristan12 said:

@Breathe I have a lot of insight on what you're talking about because these are things I have been working on a lot myself lately in my work.

Not necessarily. Phobias and all forms of psychological dysfunction need to be deeply analyzed, deconstructed and understood. You need to really understand where your fears are coming from and what is creating them to know how to resolve them. It's a lot more complex than just "I have this fear so the only solution is to face it". Facing your fear is definitely an option for overcoming fear, but my point is that there are other strategies for overcoming fear, and in my opinion, a lot of the time there are better ways to resolve fear than just forcing yourself to face them.

I don't disagree with this at all.

[Tristan12]

5 minutes ago, Breathe said:

Integration means facing the fears you were made aware of during your trip. If you have social fears, then, tada! Time to make some friends, join some groups, talk to people, go on dates, etc. Psychedelics do not take those fears from you on their own. Think of psychedelics just making you aware of your "stuff". It's up to you to work through it.

Integration also means getting off your bum and doing the things that your heart desires. Most people do not pursue the things they actually want. Most aren't aware of what's holding them back, usually some form of belief or fear or just laziness in general. Again, psychedelics just offers insight into these mechanics and offers clarity into one's true desires.

Often times people don't know what they actually want. If one is conflicted (incompatible desires), psychedelics can offer insight into which is more valuable. Other times people just need to get out there, experiment, and figure out what they like and want. It's up to us to learn about our place in life, what makes it worth living, etc. Life experience is what's called for, not psychedelics (although, nothing wrong with indulging or experimenting with them).

I am pro psychedelics. I've been using them for a LONG time and still do. At this stage in my journey, though, I am very aware of their limitations. There is no substitute for life.

I've heard this kind of explanation before but it still doesn't make sense to me or feel right to me and my situation.

I do know what I want and I know exactly what kind of life I would want to live if I could. I consider myself a very self-aware person. Of course there is always more self-awareness to be gained, but that's not something I struggle with. I can't take action to create the life I want right now because of how severe my emotional issues are. That's the whole point of seeking this healing.

I don't need psychedelics to tell me I have social anxiety. It's obvious I have that. I get your point though - however I have already become very aware of a lot of the fears and emotional issues within me. Psychedelics have helped me gain a lot more self-awareness through adding a lot of detail and nuance to my understanding of my emotional issues, however I have already been aware of my core fears and emotional wounds before taking psychedelics.

I spent almost 5 years using sober healing techniques, like trauma healing techniques, emotional release techniques, things like that, but none of it ever worked for me. The reason I finally decided to do psychedelics is because nothing else was working and I figured they would help me heal. 

To be told that the point of psychedelics is to help me become aware of the emotional issues I have so that I can work through them sober, that would mean I'm right back in the situation I was before, even though I just spent 5 years gaining awareness of my emotional issues and trying to work through them sober.

Like I said, everything you just said I have heard from other people before, and I don't see how any of it can help me with my situation. The main reason I use psychedelics is to gain access to my subconscious mind, to be able to release my emotional pain at a much deeper level than I can sober, and I don't see why I wouldn't be able to do that and why that wouldn't heal me.

In my opinion psychedelics are tools that can be used for healing, and the healing is done on the psychedelic, at least in regard to the type of healing I need. I don't see how anything I do in my sober life will heal me at this point after everything I've tried and all the work I've already done.

@Flowerfaeiry I'm going to tag you here because you were talking about the importance of Integration as well and I would like to hear your response to this