The Game Of Life - Life Purpose, Spiritual Purification, Self-actualization & Enlightenment

[JKG]

21 hours ago, Mango1998 said:

You mostly speak about the "need" to do something. Maybe you should think more about what you actually want

Don't take my formulations to seriously. I just write that what comes to my mind, and I don't reread it afterwards.

21 hours ago, Mango1998 said:

What about Biology? Don´t you need that to understand how the human brain works, so you can build an artificial one?

One person doesn't has to know everything. I can work together with other people who are more passionate about Biology. That would probably be a waste of time. You have to focus on one thing. Maybe a little bit of cognitive science is necessary, but not the whole field of Biology.

[JKG]

The day of the Senior Prank

I don't know if a "senior prank" is known everywhere. I just have looked up this work. Here in Germany we call this "Stürmung" or "Abistreich." There the 12th graders - who just have finished their exams a week ago - party around the school all day, make funny little games with the teachers and students, and vandalize in the school with thousands of ballons, paperstreams, barrier tapes... And on the school yard is a stage, with huge boxes, a DJ...

Well, that was today. We met at school at 7:30am. At 8am when the students arrived our year made games with the students and teachers. It was actually funny and better than the years before. The best part was when my history teacher had to play a model with a pink umbrella or my maths teacher with pink stuff in her hair. In the breaks loud music was played. This music was so deeply meaningful and emotional. The text was something like: "I give you a blow job. Oh, you are so horny. We take drugs in school. Oh, this night we will have amazing sex..." The music was so loud. I could feel how the bass was shaking my body. That was kind of cool. And at around 12am, when all the students came we played games with them. I had to do some kind of mental arithmetic game with them. That was outside of my comfort zone, because I always had to explain the game and read out the tasks.

The time between these events - when the others had classes and we weren't allowed to play music - it was kind of boring. But I talked with @Mango1998. We were almost all the time in the bright sun, and now I have a slight sunburn. The weather was perfect. Not too hot and sunny.

After the even was over we had to clean the school. It was so full of stuff. Thousands of burst balloons, tapes... but we were faster than expected. Then I drove my friend home, so that I know how to get to her home. Then I had to find my way back home. I didn't know the way, but luckily I had a GPS. I once overlooked the exit ramp on the highway. And luckily again my GPS found a good way for me. But I had some problems with that. It wanted to guide me through a forest street where a car can definitely not get through. Anyways, I got home safely. But I have realized that I don't like driving in cities where there is a lot of traffic.

My eating was very crappy today. I ate two ice creams at school, and three pieces of cake at home, because it was a birthday. And I have done almost nothing productive, just my habits. In the afternoon I felt so exhausted. I was glad that I could meditate and do nothing for an hour without falling asleep. Then I sat outside with my family. And then I did nothing productive while surfing on the internet. I just looked a bit on the page of my future university because of the minor subject. I just cannot decide between electrical engineering and maths. This will be a tough decision - like in the past when I had to decide between chemistry and physics as an advanced course. I took chemistry and am now happy with that decision.

[JKG]

Life Purpose - 17/06/01

Today I made good progress with my app. I worked on it all together for about 5 hours. I got the ExpandableListView working with a good tutorial from YouTube. I've had no major problems with errors. But I feel like the app is getting more and more complex. There are already so many classes and I really have to think about how to structure all of this. I have to think about how to handle the folder, unit, and lesson ids and names. Should I use Arrays, ArrayLists, HashMaps, TreeMaps... ? I see the importance of a good structure and software architecture. Maybe I will have to go from MVC to MVP for a better controllable structure. MVC worked fine until now, but MVP might be better when its getting even more complex.

I also contemplated in my meditation session today for 35 minutes. I was not all the time super concentrated, but it was still good. I firstly contemplated the question "where do sounds come from?" and then "which meaning do sounds have?" I cannot identify where sounds come from. And sounds have inherently no meaning. My mind is just interpreting sounds and create the meaning. It was weird to listen how my neighbor was cleaning stuff with water, especially when he came near the fence.

While eating lunch I watched a documentary about IBM Watson, and how he is able to win at jeopardy. Amazing.

I guess I will now continue programming, because its really fun to have a more complex problem to solve.

Edited June 1, 2017 by JKG

[Dragallur]

1 hour ago, JKG said:

more complex problem to solve.

Oh do not worry about that! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P_versus_NP_problem

[Gabriel Antonio]

 

On 5/31/2017 at 3:57 PM, JKG said:

The day of the Senior Prank

I loved this post of yours. Very fun to read. We also have something like that in Brazil. There is a day here that the senior's dress-up as the opposite sex. Haha

On 5/31/2017 at 3:57 PM, JKG said:

Here in Germany we call this "Stürmung" or "Abistreich."

This reminded me of a video I was watching today. The guy says that in German, there are two words for "pain," one of which is meaningless pain; and the other is meaningful pain. I liked that. Here is the video:

Thanks for being so consistent here (y)

[JKG]

16 hours ago, Gabriel Antonio said:

Thanks for being so consistent here (y)

consistency is key for everything

[JKG]

Life Purpose - 17/06/02

I again programmed today for several hours. I guess for 5 or 6. But its not hard to do that. Its fun. I want to do it.

Anyways, I started with testing my SelectionActivity, where the user can select with lessons from which units he wants to train. I got it working. There is just one bug left. I don't know how to solve it yet, but I know where the problem is. This is what it looks like now:

I learned how to use the debugger in Android Studio. This will be very helpful. I wish I would have done this earlier. And I have changed the theme of Android Studio to a darker one. Its different, but I like it.

Then I have started to change my software architecture from MVC or MVP. My program simply got too complex and I couldn't separate the model, the view, and controller properly anymore. So I have watched a good tutorial and skimmed a few blog posts. I firstly was very confused, but I started to copy some code. Then I started to understand this stuff. The presenter has nothing to do with all the andriod functionalities. One guy said that you should be able to made a desktop program out of an app easily, just by changing the view component. The model and presenter stays the same.
So I have spent the rest of my day doing this. I am still not done yet, but I should be ready with implementing the rest of my old version of the app, and to implement the new selection stuff.

While I was lawnmowering today I listened to Leos summary of Mastery. It reminded me again of the crucial concept of the plateau. Its so important. I should never forget this. Maybe I should write this on my mission statements which I review every morning. I also like the concept from Cal Newport, that you firstly have to reach the cutting edge of your field, before you can identify what you really want to do (your niche) and before you can make a meaningful impact. I need to get his book so good they can't ignore you. Ideally as an audiobook.

In the afternoon I contemplated for 30 minutes sounds again. This time "what is the source of sounds?" or "where do sounds come from?"

I watched a video by a programming youtuber. He talked about programming languages. I am happy to hear that Java and Python are widely used in the development of artificial intelligence. I wanted to start doing something in Python again, after I have finished my current project. Python was the first language that I learned, from a book at the age of 12. But I haven't done anything with Python for years now. And my Java skills will improve anyways, because Java will be the main language in university I guess.

[JKG]

Health

I have to set priorities. And health isn't at the top. Its currently "only" my 8th value or something like that.

Quote

"If you don't have time, you don't have priorities."

 - Tim Ferriss

I used to spend a lot of time on working out, researching about workout plans, creating workout plans for myself... And at some days I have spend a few hours doing something with my body. I still know that in the summer two years ago - I was in my triathlon phase - I firstly was on a very long bike ride (about two hours), and then went on a run afterwards. And then I also stretched and stuff like that. So I have spend a lot of time doing this stuff.

I also have set myself a lot of goals. Like running a 5k in 25 minutes, a 10k in 55 minutes, a 3k in 12 minutes... Or running each week 40km and biking 100km. Or being able to do x pull ups, y push ups and y minutes of a plank. This was like a motivation for me to spend more time working out. But afterwards I have realized that this was not a proper kind of motivation. I didn't enjoyed it so much.

I still want to be active and healthy. I feel the difference a lot when I haven't moved much one day. But so much exercise isn't needed to just feel physically good. Maybe 6km of running, or an hour of biking. And maybe 10 minutes of stretching between working sessions. Or not working out, but standing and walking a lot. I guess a standing desk with a treadmill would be the optimal solution to use time effectively.

I should write "working out a lot" and reaching sports goals on my "not-to-do-list." I have other, more ambitious and important goals.

The other major component to health is diet. And diet is even more important than exercise. The stuff that I eat is already good. Just the quantity is too much. And I work on that with my habits. He end goal of my diet is eating less and even more high quality. Steps would be:

• fully vegan
• gluten free
• raw vegan
• mainly sprouts
• mainly breatharian

But this will take time. 10 or 20 years probably. I have to get independent and then do fasting and detoxing.

[JKG]

Love of Learning

I just love it to learn. Right now I am learning so much about programming and software architecture stuff. Not just by theory, but by doing it, applying it. Learning by doing.

I feel like I learn much more than in all the 12 years of school. I always have learned the most when I did it on my own. I remember than about a year ago I taught myself vector stuff before we did it in maths class. I was done with that chapter so much faster than we did in class. And it was more fun too. Or when I tried to solve this complex equation without a solution which I needed for a little computer program. I love it to apply mathematical stuff to programming. Two passions combined!

In these last two or three weeks I have learned much more in these three years of computer science class. Well, the computer science department of our school had some problems and therefore we couldn't follow the official curriculum. But still I don't know much about all these classes anymore. I just know what these concepts roughly are, but no depth at all.

I need to get to the cutting edge of computer science in order to be successful, find my real life purpose, and to achieve something great. And this will still require years of intense studying and learning. At least 3 or 5 years of university. I am very excited to learn all this stuff. Especially advanced maths stuff and software engineering stuff. There are also some topics that I don't like so much, although I have almost no knowledge in these fields at all, like parallel computer architecture, statistics or a hardware practicum. Still I am excited to master this field and understand this deeply.

[Dragallur]

1 hour ago, JKG said:

statistics

That is actually quite cool field. I would recommend books like Thinking Fast and Slow (well that is not really about statistics but I wonder when it will apear on Leo's list). From what I have heard scientists often underestimate this field though you need it every single time you interpret some data.

[JKG]

Never School Again

I've good my results. The best that could happen actually did happen.

15 points in chemistry, 14 points in maths and 14 points in history. And the end grade is 1.2. Wow. Two months ago I thought that this was almost impossible. About three years ago I set myself the goal of 1.9 and thought that this was going to be hard. And about two years ago I thought 1.5 would be hard. And now... I guess I could apply to elite universities with these grades. But I wont.

The best thing is that I don't have to go into the oral re-exams. And even better is that I don't have to think about whether I should go there freely to improve my grade or not. No monkey mind about this topic! Its not possible to improve my grade anymore.

I was also extremely lucky. If I would have had in a subject like physics or German one point less at one grade I would have got 1.3. I am blessed.

And now so many say stuff to me like: "congratulations... you should be proud of you..."

[JKG]

Privacy

I watched a documentary a few days ago. It was not primarily about privacy, but I just got the intuition that I should stop posting here so much stuff. Sometimes its quite private.

I need to remind myself about the fact that I am posting here stuff on the world wide web - the internet. Anybody with an internet connection could read what I am writing here. And I don't know if I want that. And if one would be very curious, he could probably identify me.

Therefore I am posting here less. Especially less very private stuff. I have private journals for that and it worked out well for me in the last couple of days.

For example I could write about my thoughts about the events today at school. And what my one teacher did. And some thoughts about all the people there. But is that really important to write down here. Probably not.

But I still feel like I want to post stuff here. Its nice to summarize my journey once in a while. Or just write down some thoughts. Or whatever. My mind often changes.

[JKG]

I like uneven numbers more than even ones. The numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 9 look so much nicer and smoother than 2, 4, 6, 8, 0. Even numbers seem rather harsh.

 

I should waste my time to grow.

I should give my parents freedom.

 

Release tension from your body. Tension is an indicator for unconsciousness and that you have a lot of uninvestigated believes. Relax, inquire, and come back to the present moment. If I release the tension in my head the tics go away.

[JKG]

Mission Statements

Zone of Genius: I understand systems and develop solution processes

Impact Statement: creating technology that advances consciousness

Life Purpose Statement: I understand systems and develop solution processes to create technology that advances consciousness

Domain of Mastery: Computer Science

Ideal Medium: Programming

High-Consciousness Virtue: Consciousness

 

Top Goals:

• developing 3 usable programs/apps/devices
• studying Peter Ralstons books
  (Book of Not Knowing, Pursuing Consciousness, Genius of Being)
  → reading or contemplating every day
  → making notes, summaries
  → revising
• strong concentration ability
  → 20min without drifing away
• contemplation habit
  → each day 15min+ concentrated
• 50 social comfort zone challenges
• Mushroom Trip
• 2 Meditation Retreats

 

Top Goals until university begins:

• finishing VocabTrainer app + website
• studying Book of Not Knowing
• studying loving what is – the work
• 10 comfort zone challenges – (1/10)
• contemplation habit
• concentration ability 5 min
• bank + audible account

 

Top 10 Values:

• Tranquility
• Inner Growth
• Intuition
• Productivity
• Clarity
• Connection
• Nature
• Health
• Understanding
• Freedom

 

Top 5 Strengths:

• Curiosity and Interest in the World / Love of Learning
• Hope, Optimism, and Future-mindedness
• Perspective Wisdom
• Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence
• Spirituality, Sense of Purpose, Faith

 

Top 5 Feelings:

• tranquil
• energetic
• light
• flow
• understanding

 

Questions that fascinate me the most:

• What are perceptions?
• How to raise the consciousness of society?
• What is the true history of humanity?
• What are humanities real conditions right now? (earth, health, politics...)
• How does society work?
• Systems…

 

Top Concepts:

• Mastery – being most of the time on the plateau
• the 10,000 hour rule
• becoming world class and getting to the cutting edge of my field
• detachment from outcome
• the Hero’s Journey
• 100% Commitment

Edited June 12, 2017 by JKG

[JKG]

Life Purpose

I am making slow but steady progress with my life purpose - and that means with my app.

I've been having some really big issues about one or two weeks ago. It just didn't work out the way that i wanted to. I've had to use a global context, but it seems like thats not possible. So at some point my subconscious mind had the idea of creating a global database. That worked and this solution was so simple.

I made some different user interfaces. But my father said that the usability of this app is very low. Only I understand how it actually works. He made some suggestions on how it would look better. At first I was pissed of because I have spent so much time creating this UI. But he was right and it looks better now.

And at the moment I am again making some bigger changes. I should look at the beginning of a project what my end product will look like. Because now I have to change bigger parts of the code in multiple classes. Its very complex.

I also have been looking at design patterns. The people from Google have created a good platform for choosing the right colors and stuff like that. My design looks pretty crappy at the moment. Design is harder than I thought, and its definitively not my domain.

I hope that I will be finished with the app part of this project soon. Then I will have to tackle another big issue. And that is adding vocabulary to the database though a website with a server. i have never done anything like that before. I will have to learn a new language - ruby. I will learn a lot there because I have no experience there at all.

Sometimes I feel like I just want to quit this project and start another one. Sometimes I doubt my life purpose. Sometimes I just feel like being stuck on the plateau. I am just addicted to constant climaxes. I should learn to love being on the plateau like George Leonard says it.

[JKG]

Personal Development, Emotions, Beliefs...

I have finished reading "Loving What Is." I have made notes on the book, and have printed out worksheets from Byron Katie's website. I have so much more stuff to do regarding The Work. There is so much more to inquire in my psyche. And I will do. At the moment I feel like I have dealt with most of the stories in my head, but my subconscious mind still has to absorb the new knowledge. The old stories and beliefs are still active in my monkey mind. But now I recognize these thoughts much more often in action. 

I now want to review all my notes from the book and also other books regularly. Otherwise I will just forget everything that I have read about. This happened already so often. I rather want to work though a book slowly, but then remember the knowledge and wisdom, and be able to change my life to the better with it. Otherwise the reading is just a waste of time. I also have been reading the emotional healing guide from the forum. Its good. There is so much to heal in my mind and body.

In the last week I have been doing much more personal development stuff than in the weeks before. I spend now a good amount of time in the morning and evening journaling, reading and doing other stuff. This feels better than just programming most of my day. I want to resolve more of my stories and beliefs, so that they cannot haunt me in the future that much. In October my studies begin. Then I want to be more relaxed and at peace with myself. I don't want to feel so stressed out like in school. I want my every day life to be more pleasant then.

So I have been also working with my emotions. I have been feeling down for some days. I could resist these bad emotions. But that would just make it worse. I am working through them mostly and feel them. Right now I am rather at a low of the sinus curve.

[Dragallur]

5 minutes ago, JKG said:

Right now I am rather at a low of the sinus curve.

https://www.desmos.com/calculator/j5ulilaj1v

[JKG]

@Dragallur what the fuck

could you explain what the x-axis and y-axis mean exactly? then I could calculate at which state I am now and how long it will last

[Dragallur]

@JKG Well y-axis is feeling good/bad and x-axis is time.

You could also say generally that y-axis is level of development and x-axis is time (then I would change a bit the other curve). Actually the "absolute value" would not really be needed I just started with it when I was figuring out how to enhance the sinus curve that you mentioned and then I left it there, it looks nice though that all time lowest is equal to highest of the other curve. In a way it could also illustrate how you spend short time in "low" and longer time in "high" while for other people it is the other way around, not that I know much about your emotional states but it felt fitting .

[JKG]

Books

currently reading:

• The Path of Least Resistance by Robert Fritz
• The Book of Not Knowing by Peter Ralston (reread)

books that I already have at home:

• Zen Body-Being by Peter Ralston
• Pursuing Consciousness by Peter Ralston
• The Genius of Being by Peter Ralston
• a book about human thinking and AI stuff
• and many more that I don't see as relevant anymore

books that I almost wanted to buy today and that seemed so inspiring:

• Thinking Slow And Fast
• Becoming Steve Jobs
• a biography of Elon Musk
• Quiet
• "Das Kind in dir muss Heimat finden" (I guess its about inner child / shadow work)

There are too many great books in the world that I want to read, and so little time. There is still so much to learn in this life time. And when university begins I will have even less time to read books. Therefore I will need audible.

I have started reading The Path of Least Resistance two days ago. Its brilliant. I love the creative process. And I see that I am a problem solver in many domains. Mostly with my eating habit. Therefore i want to stop wanting to less because I feel bad when I eat to much. Instead I want to get the mindset of creating a healthy body in which I feel good, light and energetic. And I want to increase my body awareness, and do that what makes my body feel better.

I see that Elon Musk is such a good creator, not a problem solver at all. This man is just amazing.