The Game Of Life - Life Purpose, Spiritual Purification, Self-actualization & Enlightenment

[JKG]

Research

I have started to do some research on AI. I watched some videos and interviews. This stuff about IBM Watson is crazy. And I have started an online course on Udacity - an intro into artificial intelligence. There is so much to learn. At the moment I have almost 0 knowledge about it. I need more knowledge to even just figure out what I want to do and what my vision is.

Self-Doubts

Throughout the day I have been watching a few videos about these programmers. There are 12 or 13 year old little boys who work at IBM Watson or Facebook and have huge success. So my mind almost immediately started doubting myself. How will I ever become successful in this field, when I even now have problems with my program and make almost no progress? How will I be able to compete in this field? What can I contribute to this field when all these inventions are already made now? What can I do there?

I remembered one aspect from the Life Purpose Course: Creator vs Competitor. I am there to create new stuff, not to compete with other people over the best jobs and best opportunities.

And I also realized that my vision is not to just create some new AI stuff, but to combine AI with consciousness. These smart little kids know nothing about consciousness and spirituality. This is my job. I don't just have to know computer science but also consciousness.

Another subject of doubt is my oral exam in English in two days. I kind of feel not prepared well enough. I know that I will be nervous in the exam. And when my teachers asks me a question I will firstly have to think a bit about it until I can start talking. And my voice will be very shaky... I will be very happy with 11 points (B).

[Dragallur]

13 minutes ago, JKG said:

These smart little kids know nothing about consciousness and spirituality.

This reminds me of Harry Potter and Methods of Rationality. There very smart Harry had similar problems when he was younger. All the kids in competitions beated him, but in the end they would become adults who would talk about how smart they were when they were younger. He on the other hand knew about rationality and in the field itself had huge advantage.

[Mango1998]

1 hour ago, JKG said:

How will I ever become successful in this field, when I even now have problems with my program and make almost no progress? How will I be able to compete in this field? What can I contribute to this field when all these inventions are already made now? What can I do there?

 

They have this aptitude but you are a very hard-working person and you can everything that you want

1 hour ago, JKG said:

And when my teachers asks me a question I will firstly have to think a bit about it until I can start talking. And my voice will be very shaky

That´s pretty normal. I mean otherwise you need the ability to read his mind And I would worry if you weren´t nervous

 

1 hour ago, JKG said:

I will be very happy with 11 points (B).

You are better than that remember that!

[JKG]

Visioning

I did some visioning exercises from the Life Purpose Course. It was a good idea to do this. Now I am even more excited. This would be a huge life calling. Some of my answers got repeated a lot, but thats a good sign I guess.

 

What are the greatest possibilities for my life purpose?

I could develop a device, that makes people in a short period of time very conscious and therefore enlightened. This device is cheap, easy to use and to implement, and is  wildly accepted by the people. Thousands - no, millions-  of people use it and become enlightened. Then they become inspired, more peaceful and loving, and therefore also work on improving the world. The world becomes a much more peaceful place. Conflicts stop, in politics they start solving problems holistically, relationships become beautiful, beauty gets created...

What could it look like 20 years from now if I went all-out?

I own a company with great, talented, passionate, open-minded, conscious people in the team. It are not just highly skillful software engineers and scientists, but also spiritual people with a lot of experience in the field of enlightenment. Together we create the next revolutionary technology that makes people highly conscious and enlightened. We are able to spread our products all over the world and see huge improvements in the consciousness of society.

Where could it take me?

I work half of my days at the company. The other half of the day I spend at nature and work on my consciousness. I am fully enlightened, am totally healthy, and love my job, I am full of passion... I just love what is and am content with reality.

In what ways will I be impacting other people/society?

Many people become enlightened through my technology. And those people will then improve the world too. Its a chain reaction. The world will become a very peaceful place. Love, beauty, passion, visions etc. are spreading. Social problems will be solved. And everybody is amazed by the beauty of reality and consciousness.

 

What kind of leader will I be? How will I lead?

I infect the team members of my business with this vision. So they become super excited as well. We are a great team and then just develop this amazing technology device. I will there mainly focus on working on the software. I will develop solution processes which then get implemented.

 

What kind of inspiring example will I set for others?

People will see that its possible to make the impossible possible. Its worth it working many many years on an amazing world-changing project.

 

What breakthroughs and good fortune could occur on my journey?

I take the courage and start my business. My business will get funded with a few million dollars by rich people who believe in my vision. I will make breakthroughs with my team on the field of AI (artificial intelligence). We will find a way to connect the AI with the human brain successfully and safely. I will find people on my path who are very talented and passionate as well. I discover the true nature of consciousness and find a way to connect it with AI.

 

How will my personal life be improved by reaching my life purpose?

I will become enlightened. I will be financially independent. I can work whenever I want. I can travel. I become super healthy. I will feel good in my body. I am self-actualized. I will create great relationships with like-minded people.

 

How much money will I have?

I will have enough money. I can buy myself whatever I want, but I don't want much. After we have launched our device the business will receive a lot of money and donations. We invest that money mainly into new devices, to spread enlightenment even more.

 

What will my schedule look like?

My mornings I spend firstly in nature with movement, meditation, and contemplation. Then I go to the business and work with the team. There I always feel inspired and that we move forward. I love working there and solving problems. At lunchtime I eat together with the team and enjoy their company. In the late afternoon I go home. I work out, eat, study, meditate and enjoy life and nature. Maybe I spend some time with my close friends.

Maybe I will continue this tomorrow.

[JKG]

I just registered myself for a 10-day Vipassana Retreat in late August!!!!! Its getting real. Now I just have to find a very good way to explain this to my parents, or a good story about where I am in this time and why I have to internet access. I have to remember that I am 18 and am not dependent on my parents anymore.

Tomorrow morning is my oral exam in English. Somehow I felt pretty relaxed today. And after a call with my friend I was pretty happy. I hope that I will not be too nervous and that my teacher asks not too complicated questions. It would be nice if I remain calm and can control my voice.

Today was probably the last time that I had to study for school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And after the exam tomorrow I will never have to do anything for school again. Just going to a few events and collecting my certificate. Then I can fully concentrate on my life purpose and self-actualization - finally!

[Dragallur]

8 minutes ago, JKG said:

I just registered myself for a 10-day Vipassana Retreat in late August!!!!! Its getting real. Now I just have to find a very good way to explain this to my parents, or a good story about where I am in this time and why I have to internet access. I have to remember that I am 18 and am not dependent on my parents anymore.

You rock! I was going to tell you to start acting upon your list as soon as possible but apparently you were faster, great job.. personally I would actually explain it instead of using story but the decision is yours!

[Mango1998]

2 hours ago, Dragallur said:

personally I would actually explain it instead of using story but the decision is yours

I agree on Dragallur. You should also start being honest with your parents although it´s really hard and terrifying But you can do it

2 hours ago, JKG said:

Then I can fully concentrate on my life purpose and self-actualization - finally!

I feel really happy for you

[JKG]

The Oral Exam

My exams are over. In the oral exam I got 12 points (B+). The grade is okay but I am kind of jealous of others people grades. The topics of the exam were Trump, dystopia, The Hunger Games, and global migration. I would have liked topics like India, the British Monarchy or globalization more, but it was okay. At the beginning my voice was a little bit shaky, but that went away. There were some moments where I didn't find the right vocabulary but that was okay too. The grade is acceptable for my performance.

I did some calculations which end grade I could get with the results of the other exams. I would have to get on average 14, 14, and 15 points to get 1.2. Or 13, 13, and 14 points to get 1.3. Or 12, 12, and 12 to get 1.4. I guess it will be 1.3. But my mind is hoping that it will be 1.2 although its really unrealistic, but still possible with a lot of luck. And then my mind thinks of whether or not I should go into a oral re-exam if I "only" get 14, 14, 14 to still get 1.2. Its all about appreciation. I don't need a good end grade at all.

And now I am free. Its the next morning and I woke up with the thought that I don't have to study anything anymore for school. I can dedicate my whole day to self-actualization and mastering computer science. And I can do that now for the next couple of months. What an outlook!

[JKG]

Little Insights

Until now I thought that I'd have to develop a device that connects AI with the brain itself. But who says that brains exist? Maybe just consciousness itself exists. Maybe its better to develop a device that is placed into the "aura" of a person, which then sends out some waves, and those waves influence the consciousness of the person in some way and the AI sends some information to this consciousness. Oh man, this sounds so weird.

[Mango1998]

I like weird

[JKG]

thoughts from yesterdays trip picking up my new car

There are soo many soo fat people. They eat so unhealthy and have such an unhealthy lifestyle. There its no wonder that their body looks so badly. But it was astonishing how many people are soo fat. In the train we sat next to two guys who drank all the time beer and talked about bullshit - so convinced from their beliefs. There was also a group of old fat women, who drank cheep champagne, ate cheese, and sausages...

The employees at the place where we picked up the car seemed very mechanic. On the inside they are bored and hate their jobs. They have to do the same thing over and over again, day after day, year after year. But on the outside they have to look nice, friendly, happy... So the way these people spoke to us was so artificial.

These huge car companies have so much money. They can invest so much money into advertisement and customer loyalty. They have build this huge complex, where the people who pick up their car can walk around. I liked it. We could spend 70€ on food, car stuff, and souvenirs. I felt kind of special - and thats what they want. We walked around little exhibitions with new cars. I sat in a few cars and it was cool. Especially the one from porsche or an electronic car from VW. There are all kinds of buttons to adjust the drivers seat. In one you could even get a message in the seat. I feel like they exaggerate a bit with all these technology gadgets. No normal human being needs this.

I was able to participate at a drivers safety training. It was fun. I had a golf with a automatic gearbox. But I never drove with a automatic car before. So I firstly had to figure out how this works. But then it was fun. I liked the car. We had to make emergency breakings with a speed up to 90kmh. I firstly was pretty scared of driving so fast.

The trip gave me also a new perspective on technology and engineering. There were two towers where all the cars were stored and a think picked automatically the cars out of the tower. This engineering has to be so complex but also so cool and interesting. There is so much more possible with technology and engineering than I can imagine at the moment.

[JKG]

Zone of Genius

I need to make a little bit more precise what I mean with "developing and implementing solution processes." I guess the best would be an example:

Here is the problem: I want to simulate an rubiks cube in 3d in a program. And the user can give commands to turn the rubiks cube, like turning the top clockwise.

The my mind starts to break down this big problem into smaller problems. Firstly in which form should I store the data of the cube. Secondly how to render the data into the form of a rubiks cube. Thirdly how to change the data when a part of the cube gets rotated.

Then I continue with the problem of storing data. You cannot really store them in a simple list or in an array. There are different types of blocks in a rubiks cube. There are the middle stones - which don't move at all - , there are corners - with three different colors - and there are edges - with two colors. I could define each stone bock differently. Or I could just make a model where you look on top of one side of the cube where you have a 3x3 field, and you have six of those fields for each side.

Another problem: I want to create an app where you can study vocabulary.
The first problem is how the user interface should look like and which functions it should have. The second problem is how to store all the data. The third problem is how to add data...

I also love it to solve mathematical problems, especially when the task is more complex and there are a lot of variables. Once I wanted to solve a equation with vectors, a scalar product and angles. In the end I've had multiple papers full of huge equations. I worked on them until night because I was so excited. But in the end I figured out that it was impossible to solve this equation this way. Then I looked on wikipedia and found a stupidly simple equation which can solve it all at once. But it still was so fun.

I just love solving problems this way and thats what I call developing solution processes. Then implementing is another part. I don't know whether this is my zone of genius or not. I love starting to implement the stuff at the beginning. Then I can say what each class and method is doing, or what types of data to store and how to store it, like strings, integers, arrays, arraylists... But then there comes a point in the process where I start to test the code. And then there come all these exceptions, like NullPointerException, IOException, RuntimeException etc in hundreds of lines of text. Then I have to search on the internet and various on forums to find my mistakes and to solve the problems. That takes hours.

But I still love it. I especially love the part when all these problems are fixed and the code just works. Then I just feel this happiness and excitement for a few minutes and can forget about the previous hours of frustration. And even though I am frustrated often I still feel joy in this frustration.

I could describe my zone of genius more by saying: developing and implementing solution processes for big problems by breaking them down into smaller and smaller problems. But there is no place for that in the life purpose statement - it should be less than 15 words.

 

[JKG]

How to advance human consciousness

import earth.*;
import human.*;

public class ConsciousnessAdvancer {

	public ArrayList<Human> human_population;

	public ConsciousnessAdvancer() {

		ArrayList<Human> human_population = earth.getHumanBeings();

		human_population.sortByConsciousness("descending");

	}


	public static void main(String[] args) {

		ca = new ConsciousnessAdvancer();
      
     	for(HumanBeing being : human_population) {
			
			ca.advanceConsciousness(being);

		}
		
   	} 

	public void advanceConsciousness(HumanBeing being) {

		//this method is the whole mystery

	}

}

 

[Dragallur]

@JKG There are so many "little" programs that you could learn through. Lets say, programming AI capable of playing first simple Tic-Tac-Toe (TTT) than TTT on 10x10 surface or even AI that would learn the optimal tactics in simple TTT.

[JKG]

Programming Progress

After a few problems with the database in which the vocabulary is saved, I was able to finish the first version of my little "VocabTrainer" app. As I finished it two days ago I was pretty happy and excited. Here is a shot of how it looks right now:

Yesterday I started with creating a structure for a bigger database. One of the big problems is opening the existing database file with android. Its more complicated than I thought. Then I wanted to start "unit testing." That means testing only one part of the application - in my case the database. But this is way more complicated than I thought. Android Studio has a good solution to do this - with stuff like Mockito, Espresso or Robolectric - but I just can't handle that shit. It just doesn't want to work. And when I search for solutions on stackoverflow there is no such solution, probably because nobody else wants to test a database that way. So yesterday I spent almost my whole working hours on this unit testing stuff - without success at all.

So today I didn't wanted to do testing with the database, but instead trying out creating a ListView and an ExpandableListView. And again I ran into the problem of testing. Now I need an Instumented Test. So again I tried out this testing stuff - and again it just didn't work out. I am frustrated and annoyed.

Why am I doing this android app development thing? Just because my father gave me this task of creating a vocabulary trainer for my sister? Probably yes. But I don't want to quit this now. I firstly want to create a working app that is usable - thats one of my goals. I have already quited so many little projects as soon as they got a little bit too complicated and the structure too complex. I want to finish it first. Then I will get into some AI stuff. And I don't let my father give me another programming project idea/task.

[Mango1998]

6 hours ago, JKG said:

Just because my father gave me this task of creating a vocabulary trainer for my sister? Probably yes.

I thought you wanted that...

6 hours ago, JKG said:

And I don't let my father give me another programming project idea/task.

good idea!!

[JKG]

Loving what is

I have been applying "the work" on my mother. I often have bad thoughts about my mother. They are kind of judgmental.

The situation: She often is cleaning the house. She cleans the house for multiple hours each day. Much more than she would have to. And much more than is necessary. She could clean for half the time and the house would be still very very clean. She is addicted to leaning. She so often uses the vacuum cleaner. That is so loud and the sound is very unpleasant. For example yesterday I got pretty angry and annoyed. I wanted to program in my room, but Monday is the day on which she cleans my room pretty much. Firstly she uses the vacuum cleaner, then she goes with the mob through my room, and then also she cleans all my shelves... It is so unnecessary that she uses the vacuum cleaner and then uses the mob. She is doing so much every day, week after week, month after month, year after year, and soon decade after decade.

My thinking: I sometimes become angry and annoyed because she cleans the house so much. She is wasting her life by cleaning so much. She is stressed, neurotic, unhappy... It hurts to see her this way. I want her to be happy. I want her to use her time with more useful stuff so that she becomes happy. And if she has free time she wastes it with television, news papers, websites about "vips."

Insights and turnarounds from doing "the work:" My thinking is annoying me, not her cleaning. My thinking makes me sad. I waste my life by thinking these thoughts. I want myself to realize that my thinking wastes my life. I should stop believing these thoughts to be more happy. I should stop believing these thoughts to do more stuff that makes me happy. I waste my own life and annoy other people with that behavior.
I am looking forward to see her not realizing that she is wasting her life. I am looking forward to see her cleaning. She is really good at cleaning. She wants to clean, so she cleans. It brings her (very low consciousness) satisfaction. So why should I not want to see her cleaning?

[JKG]

Life Purpose - 17/05/30

Today I feel like writing a bit about my life purpose and what I thought throughout the day.

In the morning I tried to make a new activity with a list view. I just created another project, so that I don't have to deal with this whole testing stuff anymore. But still I've been having a few technical problems. So after 1.5h I ran out of steam, and anyways I had to go to school soon. Later in the afternoon I dealt with that problem again. It started working a bit. It worked out a bit.

I have realized that I can work much more efficiently when I have a calm mind and am not annoyed or frustrated. Then I can read blogs or watch tutorials much more concentrated. Otherwise I just skim through the content and search for the one solution that fixes my problem immediately. And that doesn't work out most of the times. I have to understand the context.

I also contemplated my zone of genius a little bit. I am not in my zone of genius when I am dealing with all these technical problems. I hate that. But that is probably what Leo calls drudgery. That is stuff that is quite annoying, but which has to be done anyways. I am more in my zone of genius when I actually develop a structure for the whole project and a plan on how to implement it. With the time I have to go more into the details. And then I can start working on implementing the stuff. Then I "just" have to search through the web for ways to do it with the code and work through the technical problems, exceptions, and errors.

While I am dealing with the technical problems and errors I should practice a bit mindfulness. I don't like the feeling of frustration and annoyance. That is a very low consciousness feeling. The computer can't do anything about the problems. The computer just does what its told to do. And I just want the computer to do what I want him to do. Thats my whole problem. I need to understand that the computer cannot do anything against my problems. I need to understand the problem more deeply, and then its easier to find a solution.

I have been thinking a bit about AI today. I have been kind of discouraged by a topic. I really want to create technology that advances human consciousness. And then I started to think about how to achieve that with AI. AI is just like a program on a computer. Its needs data and data is the only think an AI can process. Therefore AI needs some data input. Maybe that could be some neuro feedback, to create better neuro-feedback-training. Or it directly connects with the brain and is implanted in the brain.

And then I have been thinking about my minor subject in university, also because my father said that I should start to specify what I want to study. Maths or electrical engineering. Both seem legit. For pure AI maths would be better. But if I want to create other kinds of technology without AI which need some hardware electrical engineering would be better, because then I know how to build the hardware - at least a little bit. I don't know which one to take. I just want to make the right decision, and not be totally influenced by my father - who obviously would prefer electrical engineering.

[JKG]

Spending Time

I have neglected meditation and personal development stuff in the last few weeks. I have been focusing more on working, which means life purpose stuff, and that means programming and working on my app. I just want to get this goal done of developing 3 usable applications.

Today I have been doing less programming - maybe just 3 hours. And I have been doing a little bit more consciousness stuff. I contemplated/meditated in the morning for 25 minutes, and did 1 hour of do nothing in the afternoon. And I did some inquiry stuff, and by that I mean journaling and applying the wisdom from "loving what is." I should do that a little bit more, and not just doing programming. I will do enough programming stuff in university, and then i will have less time for personal development stuff or consciousness stuff. If I do that stuff now i will feel better in a few months when I have no time for that anymore.

But I still have this feeling of wanting to get stuff done. My ego sometimes sees things like socializing, skyping, doing stuff in the household or doing others a favor as a distraction, so that I will not be able to get as much programming stuff done as usually. I should do "the work" on this belief. I should do "the work" now everyday if possible to get all of these stupid believes out of my mind and feel better in the long run.

One problem that my ego sees is "the one thing." Successful people have only one main activity or one domain of mastery in their life. Elon Musk has huge visions and is proceeding well on his way towards colonizing the mars or transforming the industry of electrical cars. But on the other hand he doesn't seem as happy and calm as some other people who are on this path. He also looks not that healthy. He mainly focuses on his business and working on his huge vision.

I just need to find the right balance for the right time. I need to balance consciousness work, life purpose work, and other self-actualization work. Oh god, there is so much stuff that I could do. And Leo always says you should do all of these things, and that all of these things are absolutely important... I need to learn how to unicycle properly.

[Mango1998]

3 hours ago, JKG said:

She wants to clean, so she cleans. It brings her (very low consciousness) satisfaction. So why should I not want to see her cleaning?

I think she doesn´t know what to do with that time. And that she wants to be a good mother for you It´s her way to express her love toward you.

 

2 hours ago, JKG said:

And then I have been thinking about my minor subject in university, also because my father said that I should start to specify what I want to study. Maths or electrical engineering. Both seem legit. For pure AI maths would be better. But if I want to create other kinds of technology without AI which need some hardware electrical engineering would be better, because then I know how to build the hardware - at least a little bit. I don't know which one to take. I just want to make the right decision, and not be totally influenced by my father - who obviously would prefer electrical engineering.

 

What about Biology? Don´t you need that to understand how the human brain works, so you can build an artificial one?

 

2 hours ago, JKG said:

I just need to find the right balance for the right time. I need to balance consciousness work, life purpose work, and other self-actualization work. Oh god, there is so much stuff that I could do. And Leo always says you should do all of these things, and that all of these things are absolutely important... I need to learn how to unicycle properly.

 

You mostly speak about the "need" to do something. Maybe you should think more about what you actually want