How to escape my abusers (complex situation)?

[Never_give_up]

I (30 male) want to escape my abusers. I am thinking of going to another country that is in the EU like I am in a country in the EU.

Here is the problem, when I went my abusers to the district attorney 5 years ago, the district attorney just didn't care of the abuse, said to me ''you have to learn respect'' and put me in psych ward(after talking secretively with my abusers). My country is so backwards so generally you can't be a victim if you are an adult child.

So I am thinking of going to France, I am from Greece, I just started to learn the language. But I am scared they will trace me with the help of authorities (if authorities didn't help back then but further abused me, why they won't do it again?) . They will find where I live and start abusing me and stalking me and screaming and hiting me again as they always do.

 

Why I haven't left all those years? because I was scared that they are going to destroy me. I am still scared but I won't live this miserable life any longer even if they succeed destroying me. I am on welfare for psychological anxienty (that was caused by my abusers) but in 1,5 years it stops and I won't be given welfare any longer cause I no longer have anxienty (although I have anger living with my abusers). How do I know that they won't use this against me? ''he was on welfare so he can't take care of himself he is danger to himself, put him in ward'' or ''he has asperger put him in ward'' (they diagnosed me with asperger I doubt I have it but maybe I do) or ''he was in hospital in the past, that means he is unstable'' (although the authorities, my abusers(that poisoned cats among other things), and the psychiatrists were the unstable ones, I remember the main psychiatrist in particular that told me ''we all beat our children, it's normal'' ). 

How do I know it won't happen also in France? How do I fight this? Will I be able to do it or I am stuck to live this hell in this lifetime?

I think going to France will be  my freedom but that doesn't mean they won't actually trace me. Anyway, any thoughts? Also any site I can write this for additional help and venting?

[Raze]

Call a French abuse hotline 

[ted73104]

How were you brought to the district attorney in the first place? Could you let us know what happened between you and your so-called abusers?

[shree]

On 8.3.2025 at 11:00 PM, Raze said:

Call a French abuse hotline 

No French person in this world speaks English. 😆

 

@Never_give_up

You've shared a lot about your fears..

Would you be open to sharing more about your background? What happened?

Edited March 10 by shree

[Schizophonia]

11 hours ago, shree said:

No French person in this world speaks English. 😆

You're jealous of our sexy accent. 

Edited March 10 by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

Everything you write is weird, are you sure you don't suffer from schizophrenia or something like that? 

It really sounds like something someone with untreated psychosis might say, even in the construction of the sentences.

[Never_give_up]

@Schizophoniain that sense, no one can prove you that he is sane. And honestly how many people are sane and are ''treated'' for being insane, and how would they prove that they are sane then? About the construction of my sentences there are many reasons that they simply suck. First of all I don't speak good English, the fact I know this low level of English is already a miracle. Second if I was to explain everything in the situation no one would read it so I had to make it short. Lastly , I had written this post to other forums before I write it here, so I was getting exchausted and was mentally fatigued to explain the sentences well. 

Imagine Leo trying to explain to any ''normal'' person that his experiences with psychedelics if they are not valid they still have some validity. They simply would tell him he is insane and put him to the psych hospital. In my country if you said what Leo said you would definitely being put in a psych hospital, so you have to understand that not all countries are healthy to live in. Some societies are inhuman and I believe my society (country) is one of those countries. So it's basically the same thing, I can't explain to anyone that I am sane for the simple reason most people aren't familiar with the situations I am in, and the reason for that is because these situations are complex and very rare (not so rare as many people think they are though). I have found that most people that believe I am sane are the same people that have gone through similar experiences, and sadly these people are very rare and also not many people believe they are sane after being put to the hospital. 

btw, I had gone to previous district attorneys myself , and they were all by my side before they found this one. They were by my side but just didn't do anything to help. They even told my abusers that they shouldn't beat me especially when I was a child.

@shree@ted73104I just reacted to their decades of abuse, like when they started invading my space ,screaming on my ears or beat me, I did something similar to protect myself, and BOOM, just like that I was the abuser and they were the victims. I don't want anything to do with them, I just want to leave and be sure they won't harass me again with legal or illegal ways. The truth is that abusers always make themselves look like victims and the victims like abusers. And when you say that they are abusers they say that's what the abuser would say. Which is true, both the victim and the abuser says that the other person is the abuser.

@Schizophonia it  just occured to me. If I had psychosis or anything, wouldn't they write it on the diagnosis? Not that I would believe the diagnosis of those people that say they beat children, but still they didn't even do that. They supposedely found probable asperger which may be true or may not be true. Even the diagnosis asperger is no longer used in psychiatric diagnoses, they just call it spectrum of autism. Seriously, my abusers just wanted to ''win me'' and to become submissive to them, which happened. And sadly in my country a lot of authorities are abusers themselves so you can't just help yourself in any way in those situations, they just punish the victim. But sooner or later I am outta here

 

Edited March 12 by Never_give_up

[Never_give_up]

@Razedo you think they will help an adult male? Will they give me information? 

Also do you think they are not going to call cops because they think I am insane and need to be put to the psych ward again?

 

My experience tells me that people don't believe you are sane after being put to psych ward (I think it stems from the fact that they believe authorities wouldn't put you there in the first place , like they are not corrupt authorities or evil people in authority position or just incapable people in those positions). So I wonder if I can make an anonymous call and stay anonymous.... Thank you all for your replies 

[ted73104]

@Never_give_up Anyone who has went through what you've experienced would have lots of psychological issues. You being able to state your situation in a clear and objective manner is already a miracle in itself. I guess the current systems are so flawed that they are doing the opposite of their original goal.

However are you capable of getting a job and making a living for yourself independently? You are in Greece which sounds like a highly developed economic country, how do you know if France would not be worse?

I don't really know what to say. Never give up fighting for your freedom! There will be a way out.

[Never_give_up]

@ted73104It's true that my life has been destroyed for many reasons and those traumatic events are big ones. Yes it's a miracle, but it's mostly just finding things that make me happy while forgeting all my trauma. That's how most people try to find their way when their lives were traumatic (at least I hope they do that which is healthy, instead of doing unhealthy stuff to cope).

It will definitely be tough for me to be independent, but I will make it. Objectively speaking, I am not a very bright person in most cognitive aspects (although there are some exceptions that I am really good at, I would say above average, that make me confident), but many people that aren't very bright have make it.

Greece is definitely in a very good place compared to most places in the world, but it's still very bad. I don't think France can be compared to Greece, they are way more advanced than Greece. Also historicaly France put a lot of emphasis in the protection of individual human rights and freedom and I hope this is still engraved in the culture.

Who knows if it will be better or not? It will be a good barrier against people that want to harm me. But to be honest only time will tell and it will take time for me to learn the language so it won't happen too fast.

Thank you for your answer! Sometimes some support and encouragement is all we humans need and you provided me with that! I will never give up, even if they have to destroy me completely to stop me!

[integral]

If you’re serious about moving to a new country I would recommend a progressive country Denmark or Sweden.

There gonna have the best social services and quality of life.

Will you be able to support yourself?

[Applegarden8]

@Never_give_up if you want to move to another country, do they just start paying wellfare checks? I don't know, but I don't think it's like that. People usually migrate to work abroad and then to settle down.

[Letho]

In every moment of your life there is one fundamental decision we consistently make.

People think it's, how will I use my time?

No. It's how will I use my energy against time?

Energy is the fundamental currency.

From the CIA figuring out how to harvest the energy of people being addicted to big events like Christmas or energy concentration points whether in the negative or positive, like Elon Musk, so they can use it for one of their controlled wacky experiments or an old lady crossing the road with her little pug (breed of dog) in the safest way in the midst of heavy traffic without getting rattled...

Regardless, life throws us curve balls and that's going to put us on edge. In those moments, we need to decide right then and there if it's a challenge we can get out of because it does not serve our life goals, or choose it, and act like we choose it, so that our decision-making power remains in our hands, rather than with the thing that's thrown us the curveball. Because that's likely what it wants. Whether you're dodging existential collapse or navigating systems rigged against you as what it feels like for you right now. Sometimes the most high-value move is not to resist the system head-on but to move quietly through its blindspots, calm on the outside, radical in your direction empowered by your decision to OWN the challenge at hand so it does not own you. You don’t need approval. You need trajectory.

Externally, opportunities will come and opportunities will go in our life. In every moment though, the decision remains the same. Internally, we are continually given the opportunity to determine, how will we use our energy? Will our ego use it? Our mental addictions to negativity? Our addictions to false positives and false negatives, or just patterns of unproductive thinking? And what will be the "legal clauses" governing that allocation of energy? To the extent we are not choosing our challenges, our challenges will be a struggle, instead of us having the opportunity to bring the struggle to the challenge, thereby changing the power differential. Sometimes, that struggle looks like building a new identity shell. Sometimes, it’s about masking transformation with “normalcy,” walking toward a new country, a new system, a new self, while remaining energetically untouchable.

There's been a PSYOP on saying that power is 'evil' or that power 'corrupts' (rather than noticing that its just corrupt people that get drawn into those positions externally) and that's trickled down into deluding self-conceptions of power on the internal level. Many people have lost the truth that our energy is to be treated as literal power that to the extent we cannot intelligently order in our alignment with the universe, we will get unintelligent results. Look around you. It explains... Absolutely everything from the Sistine Chapel to people torching Tesla factories and Tesla trucks along with Germany saying "Up-Yours" to Elon as they make a strategic geopolitical stance (Germany previously was the biggest producer of Tesla vehicles by the way through Gigafactory Berlin-Brandenburg, that's now I guess just... a Byte or less?). Pattern =  Giving your power away here ironically, gives your power away to structures that likely do not serve your interest. Where it is not truly connective, genuinely well thought through altruism is the only place that deserves this sentiment from you or any one of us.

Even if the struggle is to our bodies, it's not about hating our bodies or being in opposition to them. Your goal may be as simple as fighting a negative impulse you have through your heart with a more resilient loving energy. That energy becomes your exit strategy, your invisibility cloak, your defiance without destruction. Because what starts to happen if you don't go inside your awareness and rearrange the intelligent order of your 'I' in the context of the differential between present power (internal (includes control) /external), energy and challenge? You'll start to dissociate from your 'I', what do you think happens when most people go through traumatic experiences? Dissociation. Depersonalisation. There's a pattern here. We don't want that for you, you must affirm to yourself in your own way the challenges you're going to own fully and intelligently. Stay in complete contact with your truest 'I'. And mean it as if everything that will be important to you in the future, relied upon this moment in your life right now and the intelligent decisions you will make from here in alignment with that reality. Which it will and it does. Make choice your power and you will make power, your choice. Choose your challenge, whether I'm on a deserted island or I've been thrown out of a plane in high altitude, that's the dignity that'll preserve your sovereignty and what will be your own imperturbability. Good luck is good will. 

Feel free to openly converse @Never_give_up, as they say the power is within, however in this breath that's better understood as the power within is only as good as we're using it to define the struggle we choose to bring the challenges in the external. Get your pen and paper out, figuratively/literally. 

Edited Monday at 11:59 PM by Letho