The value in starting a family

[Chadders]

What do people think about starting a family? I find many are just not in touch with the deeper purpose behind it

We’re actually talking about something that is an inherent part of the evolution of the human species. It’s not ‘traditional’ in that dismissive attitude some people have but it’s baked into the fabric of the human species. Family units were a core part of tribal societies it’s not just some conservative mid-century option. We are hardwired to procreate and care for our children unless very dysfunctional 

Also I would say that what makes a boy a man and a girl a woman is when they are ready to start a family - this is irrespective of whether they actually do or not, the point is they are mature enough to do it properly if they were to. It’s a good test of your own maturity. Do you truly believe you are mature and strong enough to be a grounded, loving and stable father figure or a compassionate, loving and nurturing mother? 

A big problem is that many people are not mature enough to be parents. This is so obvious with people who can’t fully take on board the responsibility in being a parent

I’ve seen posts where people will dismiss the family option and go their own way with travel or whatever. That’s fine but it’s this dismissal and the conception that it is a traditional option that bugs me. Starting a family is a beautiful thing. It’s not a lifestyle but a core part of us it’s just that maturity is the key to it

Edited Friday at 04:21 PM by Chadders

[Sugarcoat]

I think the earth has more than enough humans

[Applegarden8]

13 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

I think the earth has more than enough humans

I should introduce you to people around me, they have so many arguments aginst your and my position that will play out like a broken record. "How can you not have?", "You are a failed human being", "Why don't you have?", "What's wrong with you?". Of course I am joking, but there is a fair bit of truth to what I am saying when I am saying this.

Yeah. Me too (think that the earth has too many humans). Who will lead, educate, improve the lives of the already existing people so that they don't have to harm and kill each other?

That's why I hate conservative agenda as much as valid Nuclear Family might be.

They just do what most do, inherit the blindspots of the masses and project whoever is around.

Saying all that, having a family can be incredibly valuable.

Edited Friday at 04:51 PM by Applegarden8

[Chadders]

@Sugarcoat That’s not the point I’m making. Population size is another issue all together

If only the people that were mature enough to start a family did so you can be sure the global population would radically decline

[Sugarcoat]

16 minutes ago, Chadders said:

@Sugarcoat That’s not the point I’m making. Population size is another issue all together

If only the people that were mature enough to start a family did so you can be sure the global population would radically decline

I see your point. 

[Sugarcoat]

20 minutes ago, Applegarden8 said:

I should introduce you to people around me, they have so many arguments aginst your and my position that will play out like a broken record. "How can you not have?", "You are a failed human being", "Why don't you have?", "What's wrong with you?". Of course I am joking, but there is a fair bit of truth to what I am saying when I am saying this.

Yeah. Me too (think that the earth has too many humans). Who will lead, educate, improve the lives of the already existing people so that they don't have to harm and kill each other?

That's why I hate conservative agenda as much as valid Nuclear Family might be.

They just do what most do, inherit the blindspots of the masses and project whoever is around.

Saying all that, having a family can be incredibly valuable.

I think the stigma around choosing to be childless should go away. It’s not good for children to have parents that didn’t even want them but felt pressured to, hypothetically speaking, if that ever happens. There’s more to life than having children, although there’s value in it ofc. People have hive mind by default , so it shows in this topic. 

[Chadders]

@Sugarcoat There’s definitely a stigma to some extent. In the west the stigma is mostly on women who are childless but I don’t feel the same way as a man in the west. In other parts of the world it’s different. 

Starting a family requires a lot of maturity. It is a divine purpose. It is part of human evolution so ‘starting a family’ shouldn’t be conflated with conservative traditional values. It’s hardwired 

[Sugarcoat]

14 minutes ago, Chadders said:

@Sugarcoat There’s definitely a stigma to some extent. In the west the stigma is mostly on women who are childless but I don’t feel the same way as a man in the west. In other parts of the world it’s different. 

Starting a family requires a lot of maturity. It is a divine purpose. It is part of human evolution so ‘starting a family’ shouldn’t be conflated with conservative traditional values. It’s hardwired 

Ofc starting a family goes way deeper than some political values. It’s true that it’s wired into us on a biological level. But then it’s a problem when people expect everyone to follow this imprint. There are plenty of things we do today that are “unnatural” , one could say we’re wired to live outside in nature, but we aren’t getting shit for not doing that. Just an example. And yea it seems the pressure is larger on women as if motherhood is seen as more core than fatherhood. I agree with you on the maturity part

[Schizophonia]

1 hour ago, Sugarcoat said:

I think the earth has more than enough humans

Enough Bangladeshis, no Swedes.

[Schizophonia]

24 minutes ago, Chadders said:

Starting a family requires a lot of maturity. It is a divine purpose. It is part of human evolution so ‘starting a family’ shouldn’t be conflated with conservative traditional values. It’s hardwired 

You're taking it a bit too seriously ahah; the important thing is to have the money to take care of it, the biggest obstacle with time.

Edited Friday at 05:45 PM by Schizophonia

[Sugarcoat]

2 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Enough Bangladeshis, no Swedes.

I don’t value nationality much 

[Schizophonia]

Just now, Sugarcoat said:

I don’t value nationality much 

There is no reason to deprive yourself of having children in a country with a demographic decline, with significant ecological policies and where people are highly educated, while populations at the opposite end of the spectrum are multiplying.
Either you are "selfish" and you don't care, or you are ethical but you recognize that Swedes should actually reproduce more.

Intelligent people should reproduce more.

[Sugarcoat]

Just now, Schizophonia said:

There is no reason to deprive yourself of having children in a country with a demographic decline, with significant ecological policies and where people are highly educated, while populations at the opposite end of the spectrum are multiplying.
Either you are "selfish" and you don't care, or you are ethical but you recognize that Swedes should actually reproduce more.

Intelligent people should reproduce more.

I would say I agree. Breeding more people into a good life is a good idea

[aurum]

I'd like to have one.

Although I know there's more to go, I've accomplished a world class big-picture understanding of reality. But that required sacrificing quite a lot. So I think at this point, a family could be helpful for rounding out my development. 

Having kids is also still important from a collective perspective.

Edited Friday at 06:04 PM by aurum

[Yimpa]

 

[Nemra]

The majority of people aren't ready to have children but have them regardless. They are either forced or want it out of excitement of the moment. However, in the end, it'll most likely mature them, as they will needlessly suffer.

Having a child isn't the only way to grow up. A person who can think for oneself understands that. A mature person wouldn't have a child without wanting to and without having enough resources to be able to support their child.

Also, I think having a child depends on development and beliefs. E.g., an atheist most likely wouldn't marry a religious person and vice versa.

[Carl-Richard]

The value of not removing your taste buds or sense of smell (maybe slightly hyperbolic). On the other hand, humans are the niche-shifting animal (and by extension capable of a wide range of specialized ways of living), so you can focus on some things more than others and "get along", but starting a family is certainly a safe bet for getting needs met.

Edited Friday at 07:41 PM by Carl-Richard

[Nilsi]

43 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

The value of not removing your taste buds or sense of smell (maybe slightly hyperbolic). On the other hand, humans are the niche-shifting animal (and by extension capable of a wide range of specialized ways of living), so you can focus on some things more than others and "get along", but starting a family is certainly a safe bet for getting needs met.

Starting a family to “get needs met,” whether consciously or unconsciously, strikes me as a rather vulgar reason.

Living in pursuit of fulfilling a lack is, in general, a vulgar and ungodly way of life. I’d rather follow a creative and productive vision - which, of course, doesn’t inherently exclude starting a family - than spend my life trying to fill a hole that can never truly be filled.

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

I don't think creating a family of your own is about finding a reason behind doing it. People just follow a certain script in life, and family just happens to be one of them, just like going to school. I don't think there's much thinking involved at all, just knock some chick up/get knocked up by some dude, then use kids as a motivation to work, and structure your whole life around them in general

[Carl-Richard]

4 hours ago, Nilsi said:

Starting a family to “get needs met,” whether consciously or unconsciously, strikes me as a rather vulgar reason.

Living in pursuit of fulfilling a lack is, in general, a vulgar and ungodly way of life. I’d rather follow a creative and productive vision - which, of course, doesn’t inherently exclude starting a family - than spend my life trying to fill a hole that can never truly be filled.

Is eating food also an artistic pursuit for you? 😆

Do you have a need to be productive and creative? 🤔🧐

You can of course be "productive and creative" and create problems where there are none, like creating a distinction between productivity/creativity vs getting your needs met, or you can say "yes — both", which has really become my default position to most things nowadays 😊 The beauty of what I call "the statistical worldview": things are rarely one thing, often many, at least two (but not either/or).

Edited Saturday at 12:55 AM by Carl-Richard