Magic Mushrooms - My first breakthrough

[Infinite Tsukuyomi]

I promised in my 5-MeO post that I would eventually talk about my trips that happened before that. This is the report of my first breakthrough ever which was on 6g of magic mushrooms. I did this trip in the forest on a rainy day (I figured that not many people would come out there in the weather and I was right). This was 7 months prior to 5-MeO. To get a feel of what dosage would be good, I had done 2g trip indoors a couple weeks prior but didn't experience anything significant enough to mention. I also meditated inside my car for 1 hour before consuming the shrooms. A humming bird kept pecking at my window while trying to do so. 

In this report, I will talk about the themes and insights. I was on an empty stomach, and about 10-12 hours fasted but brought food with me in a cooler to have afterwards. Skip to 1st Awakening section if you want to get to the main course here. 

Body Awareness 

It took about an hour before I started to notice a body load come on. I remember just walking about enjoying nature in the woods. Then I started to walk towards a nearby road. Just as I exited the trees, I had an rapid re-contexualization, here I noticed that I was like a spirit that had a body. In this state, I had perfect posture, perfect stride and what felt like true confidence, true authenticity. It sort of felt like I was in a video game playing myself. I enjoyed the fuck out of just walking, so I walked up the road for awhile. I came across a bridge and got the urge to run, being in my body felt amazing, so I ran. It felt like I could run forever, while running a wisdom came over me, that said not to stress the body too much, so I lowered my pace and eventually returned to walking.

Emotions

I had some direct exposure to the nature of some emotions. Eventually a guy did show up on the road, younger than me and walking his dog. I debated whether to say anything due to my pupils beings enlarged. I was noticing, the pull of sexual attraction. I also noticed my making decisions in real time, it went through logic (having a conversation while tripping), emotions (will I regret not talking to him?), reasoning (between logic and emotion). I compromised and decided to talk briefly and continue walking, conversation went great and the dog was very friendly and felt nice to pet. I had dark sunglasses/shades to hide my enlarged pupils. Even though I decided not to ask him out it did give me chance to experience regret as he continued on. It was then I noticed, how there are so many choices at any given moment. 

Toward the end of the trip, I came across a lake and came up to the edge of the water (shallow water). Across the water was another bank, and just below it I could see the splashing of large fish. As a fisherman myself, I starting connecting dots rapidly about what was going on. I knew the carved out holes under the bank were likely home to large catfish and that carp were probably trying to get in to eat catfish eggs and were being driven out by the catfish themselves. Then, it occurs to me that the bank is the same on the side of the lake that I'm standing on. Sure enough I look down and see just massive fins sticking out the water, which startled me and I took a few steps back. Large carp were right beneath me the entire time. This gave me a close up internal look at my own fear. I stayed there for awhile and contemplated reaching in. Here I realized that approaching and handling fears has to be handled case by case, sometimes jumping right in and other times slowly moving toward them. The unknown as a fear itself became evident, I've caught probably a thousand fish and some larger than the ones I saw. The element of surprise, the unknown was more evident to me. (I'll post a picture of me with a large catfish I caught in the past.)

Contemplation

After finishing up my analysis of my own sense of fear and fear itself, I sat down and started to think about a job I was starting in two weeks. I would be in a leadership role again. So I began to contemplate how I wanted to lead this time as opposed to in the past. I was extremely successful in my previous role but wanted to be more holistic. I wanted to see how much Love and creativity I could bring into my work. Here I realized how much I enjoyed being a leader and I also realized that leadership was my zone of excellence but perhaps not my zone of genius. (I had read The Big Leap the previous month). I may write about how things actually went in another post. 

1st Awakening

 During the peak, I had made it near where my car was parked, and decided to walk past it to go in the opposite direction. As I got closer, I couldn't believe me eyes, for the first time I saw my car as simply an appearance, a prop. Then I got closer, and a thought floated through my awareness "what exactly is awakeni. . ." Then in an instant I was swept over by a profound state of awareness, where I recognized that I was on stage. It didn't know whether to laugh to cry. It felt like I had just woken up from sleep. I saw a sign post near my car, and this is where I noticed that life is a play. I laughed and laughed and even started clapping, as I acknowledged that I had been fooled. I turned around, then I had a direct experience of what I called at the time Glory. I could not see glory, but I knew what it was. "This is what glory is", I said out loud. 

I entered the forest again, now on the other side of where my car was. Still at the peak, I stopped and enjoyed each tree. I saw a bench and headed towards it to sit down, as I was overwhelmed with what I was experiencing (in a good way). Just before I arrived at the bench, I looked to the left and about lost my shit completely. What I was seeing was trees behind a different bench, and the lake behind the trees. But what I recognized was a moment in time, a moment that I had personally created, and I remembered without a shadow of a doubt having done so. My mouth was wide open, "I don't believe it", yet it was absolutely True.  I quickly got to the bench and proceeded to laugh and simply be for about 10-15 minutes. 

Post Trip

I stayed in the forest all day until all effects wore off. I did have a significant headache for a couple hours after as well. I felt the ego start to reform but not completely back to it's old self. I had tapped into gold on this day. I was also very excited to continue my own consciousness work and doubled down in the months to come meditating and so forth. 

 

[Daniel123]

That was a nice read, thank you for sharing!

[Leo Gura]

Nice share

[Verg0]

Great work! 

All the best with the integration!