Mindset matters a lot.

[Rishabh R]

I used to beleive that no girl will be my girlfriend and I am a failure in this domain of life but after I took this perspective -- I am already successful. I went out to eat something in my college campus , a girl looked at me. I didn't pay attention  to girls with boyfriends but a girl sitting with her friend who was another girl.

Could you all give your opinion on this.

I also had a conversation regarding this perspective with Claude.Ai.

[Applegarden8]

Absolutely, it's just a shadow for not being accepted and rejected. I have been rejected also, because I don't speak mating language and I am not a very touchy person and I value personal space of myself and others and I can't to thos day respond to their signs. =D 

That's my trauma. From this trauma you will have this shadow of your real-inner immage which is very likely interested in the life around it with no past conditions, child-like almost + your instincts can drive some confidence too I guess.

So first of all, just the reminder of you not having to feel guilty for who you are AT ALL for such things and that people are complicated and reject for whatever reason they may have. Related to you or not. I wouldn't even attribute the paradigm of "because you are successful",  then why players keep taking your wives away and offer nothing in return lie about themselves on dates and are borderline dysfunctional addicts etc.

Even if you get one, she can cheat. Now, how to screen and prevent that might be important when you serialy date her and is decades of work to improve your own inner image and quality of life, so anything can happen. So besides this, have fun. And I wish for you to enjoy the childlike feeling when being with a woman rather than just being with a woman. Peace.

My solution is celibacy I guess. I went off any jerking off for a year and prior to that did meditation for amount usually people don't do which is also not that a lot and while I feel my instincts they loose the grip over-time. The problem I have is dealing with the guilt of others having and saying that I should also have a spouse and discriminating aginst and some other past addictions which I have yet to work like playing a game of Civ 3 too much. =) Seems like a small thing, but I can really do better for the way I feel when I meditate and do it longer and more often.

[Hojo]

@Rishabh R Its very important to keep a straight head when doing this. If nothing means anything and you are just positive dont let others actions trick you into thinking something other than you are positive. Anything the mind does and sees  can be misconstrued to mean something else especially when you are playing  and messing around with emotions. 

It should be better to notice you were in a good mindset and a girl looked at you and you felt good. If you feel bad maybe you would think that she dosent and you feel worse. Don't let i feel good be changed by anything and don't let it make you do things that could be weird just be happy and everything will work out without any input from you. You just gotta wait and be happy. The scent of happiness will bring people to you. You might have to raise the finger to meet God but God will make it blatantly obvious to you via sources outside your happiness.

Edited March 5 by Hojo

[LordFall]

Well yes its like the elephant and the rope, if you believe you can't do something then you for sure can't. 

[Yimpa]

  On 3/8/2025 at 7:52 PM, LordFall said:

Well yes its like the elephant and the rope, if you believe you can't do something then you for sure can't.