Giraffe burnout.

[SwiftQuill]

I've been working full time and studying part time - in college - without taking vacations or breaks, for the past 2 years.

I just quit my current job because of an awful work environment - uncooperative, critical, competitive, nasty coworker.

The tiredness is starting to affect me. And the stress on top of it makes it all worse.

My manager sometimes talks to me and sometimes I don't reply immediately. Because my mind is so tired, I feel like my thoughts are in slow motion. And I feel fatigued just by concentrating and putting ideas into words.

The stress of this current job made it so much worse. So I quit. And I don't regret it at all.

But now I'm stressed out because I have a 3 month job experience in my CV. Recruiters immediately go asking me why I left. Because of course in late stage capitalism they want to filter as many candidates as possible.

Today, I applied to another company, had a job interview, and was accepted. But wait...

Their reply: "You did worse than expected in our interview but we decided to accept you for this position anyways. We are going to take the risk of accepting someone with your limited qualifications, so we expect you to give your best and show us you deserve to work for this company".

I can't. I fucking can't.

The attitude of "we're doing you a favor" is just, no. I can't. I can't deal with this extra pressure. I just want to pay my bills and survive.

Ughhhhhh

My mind is so fucked nowadays. My ability to concentrate is diminished. And my ability to regulate my emotions is neglegible. The exhaustion is taking a huge toll on me.

Empathy or words of advice welcome.

"TaKe PeRsOnAl ReSpOnSiBiLiTy BrO pUlL yOuRsElF bY tHe BoOtStRaPs" stage orange shit not welcome.

[The Crocodile]

A lot of humanity is just a sea of worry and grief. Just stop focusing on that.

[Ulax]

@SwiftQuill By quitting you made a courageous choice for the betterment of yourself mate!

Now you have that experience, you will always have that memory of courage and self-advocacy to drawn upon in the future.

I can also very much understand your being taken aback by the way that company replied to you. Obviously you impressed them in some important aspects or they wouldn’t hire you. So it is strange to me they would speak to you that way and also seems straight up unprofessional to me.

All the best mate ❤️

[Elliott]

Did you turn down the job yet? It may just be a stupid default prompt and your boss might be cool, HR may just be idiots.

 

What work are you interested in?

[something_else]

11 hours ago, SwiftQuill said:

You did worse than expected in our interview but we decided to accept you for this position anyways. We are going to take the risk of accepting someone with your limited qualifications, so we expect you to give your best and show us you deserve to work for this company

This is horrific. Pure emotional manipulation. They probably send it to everyone they hire.

The truth is that if there was a better candidate they would have chosen them, not you. Companies don't do favours for people they don't know, which means you are very capable of doing the job in their eyes. They would just prefer it if you felt like you had something to prove because then you'll work yourself to death trying to impress them. Don't let this impact how you feel about your own skills.

I would start the job and see how it goes if you really need it. It's possible that this is just HR being awful, and that the rest of the company where you are working is much nicer.

 

[SwiftQuill]

59 minutes ago, Elliott said:

Did you turn down the job yet? It may just be a stupid default prompt and your boss might be cool, HR may just be idiots.

 

What work are you interested in?

I turned down the job offer today, yes.

I'm a software engineer and I just want to survive. I don't even care about remote work or high sallary.

Edited February 25 by SwiftQuill

[SwiftQuill]

11 hours ago, Ulax said:

@SwiftQuill By quitting you made a courageous choice for the betterment of yourself mate!

Now you have that experience, you will always have that memory of courage and self-advocacy to drawn upon in the future.

I can also very much understand your being taken aback by the way that company replied to you. Obviously you impressed them in some important aspects or they wouldn’t hire you. So it is strange to me they would speak to you that way and also seems straight up unprofessional to me.

All the best mate ❤️

Thanks man

[Elliott]

1 minute ago, SwiftQuill said:

I'm a software engineer and I just want to survive. I don't even care about remote work or high sallary.

I would look up what employees post online about companies you might work for, perhaps broaden your market while you're starting out, and then take a less demanding job while you try to get in a decent company. I assume you've looked into internships.

[SwiftQuill]

So update.

The good news:

• The company contacted me again, insisting they want me in their team. So they decided to schedule another meeting to persuade me again into joining the company. I will have that meeting tomorrow, online.
• I also have other companies interested in my work experience, although no job offers yet. Still recruitment processes in initial stages.

The bad:

• One of the bad news is this job for some reason instead of having a 40 hour week schedule, it has a 45 hour week. This is something that I find concerning. Considering at 6 pm I already feel tired and can't be productive, I don't know if I will handle/tolerate working until 7 pm.
• My health (physical, mental) is kind of shit. I'm still very irritable and annoyed. Physically, I feel tired all the time. I struggle to focus for even small and easy tasks. My appetite has changed as well. I feel hungry and craving high caloric foods.
• It's gotten to the point I can't even hide how I've been feeling. My manager sometimes asks how I'm doing. I struggle to make eye contact. People ask me questions and I take a while to respond. And sometimes I give incoherent responses. I've also been making small, trivial mistakes, like dropping things, spilling glasses of water/juice. I've been clumsier than normal.
• Due to this stress, poor mental health, and lack of time, I've been neglecting my life purpose.

[SwiftQuill]

I accepted the job.

[Ulax]

@SwiftQuill All the best with your new job mate 🥳