Are there any trans or other LGB people on this forum?

[Something Funny]

I have some questions that I want to get answers to from the perspective of LGBT people specifically.

[Emerald]

I'm bisexual. And I'm about equally physically/sexually attracted to men and women... but I rarely have romantic attractions towards women.

So, I don't have any experiences with dating women or being in relationships with women. And most people don't know that I'm bisexual unless I specifically tell them.

I'm adding these details in case that means that I'm not a good candidate to ask these questions to because I mostly operate in the world in a very heterosexual-seeming way as I've only ever had male partners.

So, I don't experience a lot of the same experiences that people in same sex relationships or who are trans or non-binary do. 

[Something Funny]

@Emerald I wanted to ask about people's opinion on the male/female bathroom question when it comes to trans people. And also about trans people in competitive sports.

I actually had some good discussion about this on reddit (before I got perma-banned, lol) and am now leaning mostly towards thinking that both of these are not such a big deal and that:

- trans people should be able to use the bathroom of the gender they transitioned to
- trans people should be able to compete in sports as the gender they transitioned to, unless there were some factual studies done for this particular sport that show trans people having an unfair advantage.

If you have any thoughts on the above, I would still love to hear them though.

Regarding being bisexual, I was actually curious about it too. Do you think most bisexual people are like you? As in, can most bisexual people be fine with just being in a relationship with a single partner of whatever gender and that's it. Or do most bisexual people are bisexual in a sense that they feel like they need to have multiple partners?

[Basman]

4 hours ago, Something Funny said:

I wanted to ask about people's opinion on the male/female bathroom question when it comes to trans people.

I go to a liberal university currently who has gender neutral bathrooms. In practice, it just means that everyone gets their own closed off little bathroom with their own hand wash and a mirror. You completely avoid the conflict that transwomen in girls bathroom can cause. You do miss out on urinals though.

A transwoman in a girl's bathroom who doesn't convincingly pass is going to cause issues. In such cases, its better they use the disabled toilet or something adjacent.

[Staples]

My trans friends just want to live totally as the gender they transitioned to without being demonized by people. View it through that lens and you have all the answers you need.

Edited February 24 by Staples

[Elliott]

1 hour ago, Basman said:

I go to a liberal university currently who has gender neutral bathrooms. In practice, it just means that everyone gets their own closed off little bathroom with their own hand wash and a mirror. You completely avoid the conflict that transwomen in girls bathroom can cause. You do miss out on urinals though.

A transwoman in a girl's bathroom who doesn't convincingly pass is going to cause issues. In such cases, its better they use the disabled toilet or something adjacent.

I go to a few places that have "urinal" "no urinal" bathrooms, standard stalls and I don't  know of any problems, there's a lot of women that go there regularly, and there are noticeable trans women. These places even have a lot of children there. This is in a blue city in a red state.

I always compare this topic to a lone woman being in an elevator with a lone man. A man could always hide in a stall until he only hears one woman is in there, there's not entrance guards at restrooms anywhere, he could even wait and watch from outside the restroom.

Edited February 24 by Elliott

[Consept]

1 hour ago, Basman said:

A transwoman in a girl's bathroom who doesn't convincingly pass is going to cause issues.

This gets a bit complicated though, cos say you have a butch lesbian who actually looks and presents as a guy but is still female and hasnt undergone any treatment or surgery, should they use the female bathroom? Are we just deciding who looks female 'enough' to use the womens bathroom, its not an easy answer tbh

[Something Funny]

1 hour ago, Basman said:

A transwoman in a girl's bathroom who doesn't convincingly pass is going to cause issues. In such cases, its better they use the disabled toilet or something adjacent.

You could say the same about black people using the same bathroom 50 years ago.

So I don't think that's a good argument.

[Something Funny]

1 hour ago, Staples said:

My trans friends just want to live totally as the gender they transitioned to without being demonized by people. View it through that lens and you have all the answers you need.

Yeah, that's my opinion now as well. Initially, I was not sure because I thought that regular women feeling comfortable and safe is also important, but after thinking about it more, I've realised that you can't regulate access to public bathroom based on how comfortable someone is "with other people". 

And the safety argument like: "what if some pervert guy pretends to be trans" is bad because trans people should not suffer and be held responsible for actions of other bad actors in the society. Also, like mentioned by @Elliott, nothing is really stopping some perv from sneaking into a women's bathroom and hiding in an empty stall anyway.

[Something Funny]

24 minutes ago, Consept said:

Are we just deciding who looks female 'enough

Yeah, that's bad.

[Basman]

If you look like a man you don't belong in the woman's rest room. Its not that complicated.

1 hour ago, Consept said:

This gets a bit complicated though, cos say you have a butch lesbian who actually looks and presents as a guy but is still female and hasnt undergone any treatment or surgery, should they use the female bathroom? Are we just deciding who looks female 'enough' to use the womens bathroom, its not an easy answer tbh

Butch lesbians look like women. If its less obvious then I can imagine it would create some discomfort if they think your a man.

[Emerald]

7 hours ago, Something Funny said:

@Emerald I wanted to ask about people's opinion on the male/female bathroom question when it comes to trans people. And also about trans people in competitive sports.

I actually had some good discussion about this on reddit (before I got perma-banned, lol) and am now leaning mostly towards thinking that both of these are not such a big deal and that:

- trans people should be able to use the bathroom of the gender they transitioned to
- trans people should be able to compete in sports as the gender they transitioned to, unless there were some factual studies done for this particular sport that show trans people having an unfair advantage.

If you have any thoughts on the above, I would still love to hear them though.

Regarding being bisexual, I was actually curious about it too. Do you think most bisexual people are like you? As in, can most bisexual people be fine with just being in a relationship with a single partner of whatever gender and that's it. Or do most bisexual people are bisexual in a sense that they feel like they need to have multiple partners?

I'm pretty sure that most bisexual people are monogamous. But I don't know the exact statistics.

I know a lot of bisexual women end up in a similar position to me though where they mostly have relationships with men.

For me personally, it's a genuine romantic relationship preference. I've only ever had deep romantic feelings towards a woman where I wanted a relationship with her one time... but with men countless times.

But for many, it is just easier in a lot of ways to have an opposite sex relationship in the lead up to the relationship (meaning it's harder to find a woman who's interested in you than it is to find a man who's interested in you... because you have to find a woman who's into women AND women have more dating sorting mechanisms than men).

And it's also easier in the aftermath of the formation of the relationship, where you don't have to deal with all the homophobia stuff because you pass as straight.

As for my opinion on trans people in bathrooms and sports, they are the same as yours.

Trans people should be able to use the bathroom they feel comfortable in.

And the trans women in sports conversation could be totally solved just by doing some studies on how medically transitioning and taking estrogen over the course of different periods of time impacts things like strength, speed, endurance, etc. 

And then rules, protocols, and decisions should be made on the basis of those studies and what would be the most scientifically fair choice available... as opposed to random conjectures from a bunch of concern trolls on the internet who don't care even the slightest about women's sports except when it's used as a cudgel to bash trans women with.

[Zen LaCroix]

Emerald I've also heard of many bisexual women mostly or only having romantic and sexual relationships with men. What makes it so hard to get with other bisexual/ lesbian women?

[Elliott]

2 hours ago, Something Funny said:

You could say the same about black people using the same bathroom 50 years ago.

So I don't think that's a good argument.

What about black people pushing white people out of sports scholarships and pro sports, isn't it unfair to white people.

/s

Edited February 24 by Elliott

[Something Funny]

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

I'm pretty sure that most bisexual people are monogamous. But I don't know the exact statistics.

I know a lot of bisexual women end up in a similar position to me though where they mostly have relationships with men.

For me personally, it's a genuine romantic relationship preference. I've only ever had deep romantic feelings towards a woman where I wanted a relationship with her one time... but with men countless times.

But for many, it is just easier in a lot of ways to have an opposite sex relationship in the lead up to the relationship (meaning it's harder to find a woman who's interested in you than it is to find a man who's interested in you... because you have to find a woman who's into women AND women have more dating sorting mechanisms than men).

And it's also easier in the aftermath of the formation of the relationship, where you don't have to deal with all the homophobia stuff because you pass as straight.

I see, that makes sense, thanks for sharing.

[Something Funny]

@Emerald Do you think there are more bisexual women then there are men? 

If so, do you think it's because women are just more universally attractive so it's easier to be into sleeping with them, no matter the gender, while men can be seen as ugly unless you are actually biologically wired to be into men?

[Princess Arabia]

I'm also bisexual and my story is pretty much similar to @Emerald's except I have had in the past relationships with women. If I was to count, I've had 3 actual relationships and one of those was live-in. They were all short-lived but intense and, at the time, were the only ones i was involved with at the time. I've had sexual encounters, though, with more women but they were more on the casual side,both with other strictly gay women and other bi-sexual women. 

I find that bi-sexual women are more attracted to men than women when it comes to having a relationship but really masculine lesbians are more attracted to them as opposed to other bisexual women. 

Even though I'm not as bisexual as I used to be and more gravitate towards men, my sister is strictly lesbian and is in a long-term relationship, my platonic BFF from my hometown of Ja is and is legally married to her female partner and I've had friendships with transgenders, so the lifestyle isn't new to me and I'm pretty familiar with it. I know quite a few lesbians who aren't bi.

There was also a working transgender that I personally knew who looked just like a female, very pretty female, but was actually a man who used the female bathrooms. One couldn't tell because she looked so much like a woman. 

Edited February 24 by Princess Arabia

[The Crocodile]

Nobody should use public bathrooms, and no one should play sports. There, I just solved those two "political issues".

@Something Funny If you want to express your femininity through your presentation don't worry about it, just do it.

[eos_nyxia]

6 hours ago, Basman said:

I go to a liberal university currently who has gender neutral bathrooms. In practice, it just means that everyone gets their own closed off little bathroom with their own hand wash and a mirror. You completely avoid the conflict that transwomen in girls bathroom can cause. You do miss out on urinals though.

A transwoman in a girl's bathroom who doesn't convincingly pass is going to cause issues. In such cases, its better they use the disabled toilet or something adjacent.

More and more of our public libraries, especially the large and central ones, have universal gender-neutral washrooms now. Also, many of the larger public pools have men's, women's, and universal gender change rooms. The men's and women's changerooms are open, but the universal change room has all closed stalls.

I can't think of anywhere else that I've seen them, though. I have no idea what my alma mater is doing, and I haven't been on a major university campus for a while.

[Schizophonia]

A while ago I interacted with a trans woman here, I don't remember her nickname.