5meo resurface of old trauma

[emil1234]

So I had a small dose of 5meo sunday, around 5 mg. had a mild but still very noticable experience.

the same evening i went to an ecstatic dance event, and experienced resurfacing of old trauma (experiences of derealization/disassociation). I suffered from this in the past, but never fully integrated it, so i always knew i would have to face it again some time and integrate it fully. 

The following days I also experienced more surfacing of emotions than usually, without being able to locate the cause or source of the emotions. 

I take all of this as a process of the 5meo work, allowing me to integrate deeper emotional aspects of myself.

is this common? It certainly does feel like a direct byproduct of the 5meo disintegration of egoic defence mechanisms

Edited Wednesday at 03:58 PM by emil1234

[halfknots]

It's all part of the unfolding

[josemar]

Sounds like ego backlash, but you made a mistake in taking only a sub-breakthrough dose... Only do 5meo dmt if you can fully release, otherwise the stirred up ego will try and hold on for longer.

[halfknots]

Just now, josemar said:

Sounds like ego backlash, but you made a mistake in taking only a sub-breakthrough dose... Only do 5meo dmt if you can fully release, otherwise the stirred up ego will try and hold on for longer.

Respectfully this is a dog shit perspective.

The so called "ego backlash" is OP encountering more of themself, which means more opportunity for embodiment, insight, observation, expression, inquiry, reprocessing, integration, and love.

 

[emil1234]

10 minutes ago, josemar said:

Sounds like ego backlash, but you made a mistake in taking only a sub-breakthrough dose... Only do 5meo dmt if you can fully release, otherwise the stirred up ego will try and hold on for longer.

I dont see it as the ego holding on, it feels like surpressed emotions finally being granted attention. my experiences with lower doses so far has been very positive. i am however ramping up to breakthrough doses, but i wanna go slowly

[emil1234]

5 minutes ago, halfknots said:

The so called "ego backlash" is OP encountering more of themself, which means more opportunity for embodiment, insight, observation, expression, inquiry, reprocessing, integration, and love.

 

This is definetely what it feels like. Even through it might be uncomfortable in the moment, encountering past trauma, it feels like a very healing process

[josemar]

Hahaha more of yourself... After a breakthrough dose you'll realize how full of shit you are. Sure, you can explore this shit for decades, if you think it's "useful". In that case, don't waste 5meodmt, any other psychedelic is better suited for that.

[halfknots]

I am full of shit! And to a degree that I might never fully appreciate.

If the particular shit I am full of helps OP realize and orient with the truth of their felt experience, that's the kind of shit I'm happy to sling.

Edited Wednesday at 05:43 PM by halfknots

[shree]

@emil1234

I had severe derealization/disassociation issues for months, triggerer by psychedelics.

[Pudgey]

@emil1234 Yes, this is common, especially on smaller dose. Larger doses tend to be great for increased awareness, where you can explore new levels of consciousness. At that point (at larger doses), you should have taken care of your personal life, including physical and mental health. Whereas, smaller doses, tend to work on the mind and body and pushes out hidden, trapped or unexpected emotional trauma, intrusive thoughts and other spider webs of emotions you thought you got over. So, it usually happens suddenly and unexpectedly. It catches you like a trap, when you least expect it. So, the best way the move forward is to try to be deeply aware of this emotional trauma and its source. You have to face it like a warrior and forgive what's hurting or negatively impacting you. This will allow you to take higher doses and avoid bad trips, since you are building rome within yourself. 

[emil1234]

26 minutes ago, Pudgey said:

@emil1234 Yes, this is common, especially on smaller dose. Larger doses tend to be great for increased awareness, where you can explore new levels of consciousness. At that point (at larger doses), you should have taken care of your personal life, including physical and mental health. Whereas, smaller doses, tend to work on the mind and body and pushes out hidden, trapped or unexpected emotional trauma, intrusive thoughts and other spider webs of emotions you thought you got over. So, it usually happens suddenly and unexpectedly. It catches you like a trap, when you least expect it. So, the best way the move forward is to try to be deeply aware of this emotional trauma and its source. You have to face it like a warrior and forgive what's hurting or negatively impacting you. This will allow you to take higher doses and avoid bad trips, since you are building rome within yourself. 

nice reply, thank you

i always wondered if its necessary to locate the source; isnt it enough to simply FEEL, EMBRACE and LOVE whatever emotions arise?

I've located multiple sources during my shadow work, and while it does provide intellectual clarity, my intuition is that FEELING the emotions are far more important

[Pudgey]

@emil1234 Yes, feeling and embracing the trauma is often enough (worst case, a therapist or psychiatrist would suffice - possibly one that focuses on trauma healing). Intuition is keys, as it will point you in the right direction. The beauty with microdosing with 5-MEO-DMT, it'll breakdown the barriers that's holding you back and will often show you where you need to improve and heal because taking much larger, profound doses requires a healthy, mental state. You will know intuitively if you need to increase or wait, as well as how to embrance your trauma. I think you are on the right direction. 

[Carl-Richard]

3 hours ago, emil1234 said:

i always wondered if its necessary to locate the source

It's a good bonus.