Escaping a Rut : 1 quote is all it takes

[Optimized Life]

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Edited February 20 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

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Edited February 20 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

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Edited February 20 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

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Edited February 20 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

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Edited February 20 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

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Edited February 20 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

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Edited February 20 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

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Edited February 20 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

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Edited February 20 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

I've just realized 1 simple reason why I fucked up and it's so simple and obvious and frustrating that I feel another knife just twist deep into my gut, the fact I didn't realize this years ago either. 

THe pain is now back and I don't even know what to say 

It's just beyond annoying and frustrating 

I'm just suffering at how annoying my life is now looking at it this way

I am actually beyond pissed i just cant

Would be fine if I was 16 or 19 at this point 

But it has taking me so fucking long to just understand certain things 

U dont ever get the wasted time and oppurtunities back, never 

Life is just brutal like this 

 

Edited February 20 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

1 hour ago, Optimized Life said:

Life is just brutal like this 

I can't hit a deeper low than this. 

U it's deep when u just cant articulate, i cant verbalize i cant go into detail its beyond 

I have not hit a deeper pain point than this 

Because its not just the present temporary pain, its that in combination with all other accumulated pains and regrets put into context, + a yearning that I just acknowledged this 10 years ago, and how different my life would've been, anbd would be now. 

I dont want to numb the pain 

I dont want alcohol 

I dont want to stop feelng this way 

Because I get how counterintuitive life is now 

I don't want any mercy nor will i get any 

For me at least only once I've reached the deepest pain & karma on the brink of a suicidal rage can I snap into greatness 

Peace doesn't work for me 

There is no peace anymore, there is no innocence 

But there is no fear anymore either, there is no hesitation 

Because I have gone full circle now 

There is no moderation or in between now 

I cannot do normal things now 

I have only 1 choice now 

I'm either on the brink of suicide or greatness .. and madness 

I feel like the joker minus the sadism 

Edited February 20 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

On 20/02/2025 at 2:42 PM, Optimized Life said:

I have only 1 choice now 

I'm either on the brink of suicide or greatness .. and madness 

I'm on the brink of madness now, my prime truly begins from here. 

Accumulation of pain made me superhuman 

And i'm riding out until I'm at least 50, if not longer 

The deep accumulation of pain is still there but it's fuel. Napoleon hill thing 

prime starts now 

Edited February 22 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

WHO Remembers being a lil kid and watching this? 

THIS is what Prime means 

any standard lower than this for a man & I don't see the point 

This is the level I need my game at, which I am definitely capable of because I can naturally do all the untrainable stuff but just overlooked basics 

I remember being so young & watching this movie, having no idea what I was getting myself into and thinking "what the fuck is this", I was soo absorbed into the film that those 3 hours still kinda has a ringing sensation in my memory, like I fell into a portal of the infinite, no one person sitting in that movie for the 1st time would've looked away, checked thier phone or got distracted, and it was ultimately heath that elevated this film to another dimension

That's the energy standard for women i interact with going forward, from the approach to the sex, they need to feel how I felt in this movie, for the 1st time ever, absorbed into a different universe, & they come out reborn. 

Good luck that the next guy who comes along can rekindle that shit in her again 

I want my women thinking about me when I'm gone, thikning about me when they're taken, all the way, Dark Triad shit. 

Edited February 23 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

I'm Upset 

I feel pain I'm upset 

I'm not weak but I
really struggle with regret 

Life always throws you tests

But dam the best ones come when u least expect 

Edited February 23 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

On 23/02/2025 at 9:39 PM, Optimized Life said:

I'm not weak but I
really struggle with regret 

The regret and time pill is really starting to hit me now 

A lot of people on Self improvement networks are delusional positive about "there's always more time bro, men are ageless bro" ect. 

But it's just not true. 

Even certain phases like college if u wasted that, or your teens it's just over u will never get those experiences, and most people experienced it somewhat but it's like how much? Probably like 5% the amount of what you could have done, relationships memories women fun ect. 

Someone like leo is an extremely unusual and rare introvert who can not have any life experience then then decide to date and do all that shit at lke 27 and be satisfied with it and ju7st see it as some chill logical progression (rather than a horrifying regretful sad reality for most humans), also he was lucky enough to have a lot of resources and time by that age (which 95-99% of people dont have) + Perfect logistics, to go full beast mode inmediately to something to squeeze some gains from it fast, most people gotta work 40-70 hours even if ur making gd money, and whos making gd money under 30? like 5-15% of people, then there's logistics 

I have wasted many years too actually trying hard but just doing stuff wrong, or in the wrong way, like tryna get rich and just not getting rich, changing business model ect.. this all fine if it's like 1-2 years, but majority of your 20s? dude .. 

Might just have to kill myself soon, end the suffering because it will get worse I'll get older and I took too long with life & can't catch up fast enough, u might bring the argument of "but ppl are retarded in wheelchairs and born with crippling conditions and they live fulfilling lives" - yes I get that but have to understand that regret and remorse is relative and specific to what your potential is, understaning my potential now I could've literally had the entire fucking world to myself from about age 16 if I just woke up and i pissed a lot of that away, that's the biggest hell, knowing u had something and didn't use it or realize it is 100* the suffering than just being born a retarded ugly troll and then embracing it because there's nothing else to do 

Yeah i'll "Get there eventually" but then i kinda traded my peak for money, by the time i got seriousl money now I'm like aging I took too long fucked up, time to get rich is 16-21 honestly

Edited February 26 by Optimized Life

[Optimized Life]

I've wasted majority of my prime slaving inefficiently on the wrong thing or in the wrong way and got zero reward for it, also with wrong people in wrong environments, whilst the entire time probably having top 1% potential which took me too long to realize, which I only started to realize in last 2 years and from hear it's just aging and decay because thats how it works the one thing I was terrified of was having an empty life of regret from the start especially by age 21, I was in a sense very mature for that age despite being so lost in other ways, and I fulfilled my worst nightmare, despite being a try hard, which almost makes it even more sad, couple weeks to think about this and i may just end it I cant any more