When should I get married ?

[Someone here]

Just now, Something Funny said:

@Someone here well, then just tell her that you don't like her patricipating in your threads. Why talk about derailing when clearly this thread is already all over the place.

I already told her to get out . Believe it or not I told her "pretty please" get out . When it was her turn she told me "get the fuck outta here ".

And Schizophonia and something-else also went down on her to nudge her to get out yet she can't help herself. 

[Something Funny]

@Schizophonia just fiy, you are pretty bad at understanding others (or at least understanding me, lol). I am not saying this to start an argument, just thought I would mention it, since you seem to be interested in psychology and this kind of stuff.

[Something Funny]

@Someone here technically, I am not sure if you can actually tell people to not praticipate in threads on a public forum. In my opinion, the only exceptions should be harassment or journal section.

[Someone here]

@Something Funny cool no worries. 

[integral]

1 hour ago, Someone here said:

And what does my country have to do with it ? Isn't it the norm in most of the world that the woman takes care of the kids and the housework while the man pays the bills and works to raise a family ?

No, your desires were placed there my your culture and the values of the people that your surrounded with. You desire these things because you where conditioned to, but that's ok, most woman in your country right now probably want that to. 

1 hour ago, Someone here said:

I'm not getting AT ALL the fuss you guys are making . Just point out what was off mark in my so called "dream woman ". So I'm not supposed to get a blowjob  from my wife ? Or a massage?  If she wants a massage I can massage her too..it's  transactional..I can lick her Puss-Puss too if that's what's gonna turn her on. 

There is no fuss, most people in the comment section are projecting there culture onto you. They have the "woman's equality" mindset.

The point I was making is, is its a fantasy. Its never going to play out the way you think it will. 

Wanting and reality are different...

For all you know you'll get tired of her after a year. Your speculating about relationships instead of experiencing them. 

Edited February 25 by integral

[Yimpa]

When in doubt, there’s one question that gets to the heart of it…

What is marriage? 

[Schizophonia]

2 hours ago, Something Funny said:

@Schizophonia just fiy, you are pretty bad at understanding others (or at least understanding me, lol). I am not saying this to start an argument, just thought I would mention it, since you seem to be interested in psychology and this kind of stuff.

I understand people enough to see that your response serves no purpose other than trying to ridicule me, because you are not a man.
 

Yes you cried body shaming because you are anxious and afraid that people will think like me; because it brings you back to your helplessness to face the responsibility of your actions.

 

Remember I am a mirror; there are tons of polarized mirrors everywhere and all the time, you are looking at me because you see yourself through me.

 

 

[Schizophonia]

1 hour ago, Yimpa said:

 

What is marriage? 

Cheesecake factory, plenty of sex, and tax cuts.

Yum

 

[Schizophonia]

2 hours ago, Someone here said:

I already told her to get out . Believe it or not I told her "pretty please" get out . When it was her turn she told me "get the fuck outta here ".

And Schizophonia and something-else also went down on her to nudge her to get out yet she can't help herself. 

I just interacted with her as a random response. 🤔

I don't know what she said )other than what I responded to).

[Sincerity]

12 hours ago, Someone here said:

@Sincerity love you too.

Cute, but it's not a response. If you don't even have safe sex (using a condom vs pulling out at the last second) and you're only intent on getting a woman to take pills, that says a lot about your mindset. One is utterly irresponsible, the other I don't have words for.

You constantly spew eyebrow-raising things (like the sluts remark, or what I'm responding to right now) and you wonder why people go "off-topic" to reply to you in regard to them.

Edited February 26 by Sincerity

[Princess Arabia]

7 hours ago, Someone here said:

@Princess Arabia once again you are deviating from the main topic and swimming around in circles about a bunch of nonsense.  Who gives a shit what defines a slut.  A woman that is slutty is just a slut . Please stick to the topic and spare me your pointless endless off topic musings. 

@Sincerity love you too.

There's nothing off-topic about responding to an on-topic comment. You said women that sleep with someone once is a slut and I responded to that. It wasn't even someone else that made the comment, you did. 

You know what, I'll just leave you and your threads alone. I'll simply just ignore you. Don't like the way you consistently speak to me. Goodbye.

 

[Twentyfirst]

7 hours ago, Someone here said:

Why bother being born when you gonna die anyways ? And what's between birth and death are just life being a bitch to you ?

I'm not being nihilistic.. I'm being realistic.  Life will seem rosey and beautiful when you are young but in the end its gonna fuck you in the ass . Read some Buddhism. 

And how exactly to raise kids to be "outside the matrix" ? I as the potential father  don't believe or subscribe to any belief systems.  When my child asks me "dad ,where did I come from ?". What the hell am i supposed to tell him/her ? Should I just tell them well God created us ? Or be blunt and honest with him/her "well I have no fucking idea "?

I have heard all the anti natalist talking points before 

It all comes down to whether or not you think life's pains are worth the entrance into life or if life's pains outweigh the glory of life

I don't think the wife qualities you want is wrong at all. But women who are built in the way you speak are also built to want children. It's a package deal 90% of the time. The new breed of women who are fine with not having kids are the complete opposite women you want. I hope you find the situation you want though 

[Sabth]

I dont wanna get married anymore. 

Even if I do wanna I couldn't. Because the things that is supposed to make it have been destroyed , or died , or no longer working. 

Edited March 1 by Sabth

[Yimpa]

I am committed to marrying God.

[Elliott]

On 2/25/2025 at 3:05 PM, Someone here said:

 Life will seem rosey and beautiful when you are young but in the end its gonna fuck you in the ass . Read some Buddhism. 

I actually didn't care for life as a child or in my 20s and absolutely love it now.

On 2/25/2025 at 3:05 PM, Someone here said:

And how exactly to raise kids to be "outside the matrix" ? I as the potential father  don't believe or subscribe to any belief systems.  When my child asks me "dad ,where did I come from ?". What the hell am i supposed to tell him/her ? Should I just tell them well God created us ? Or be blunt and honest with him/her "well I have no fucking idea "?

I think "well I have no fucking idea " would be powerful, sincerely.

On 2/25/2025 at 3:05 PM, Someone here said:

I'm not getting AT ALL the fuss you guys are making . Just point out what was off mark in my so called "dream woman ". So I'm not supposed to get a blowjob  from my wife ? Or a massage?  If she wants a massage I can massage her too..it's  transactional..I can lick her Puss-Puss too if that's what's gonna turn her on. 

 

These people are what we call social justice warriors, trying to signal their virtue, or emotionally unstable. I have a girlfriend in America, she's a professional with a college degree, and she loves doing those things for me that you want, and I love doing things for her.

[Sincerity]

On 27.02.2025 at 1:45 PM, Elliott said:

These people are what we call social justice warriors, trying to signal their virtue, or emotionally unstable.

Don't be so dismissive and dishonest. Try having a little appreciation for different perspectives.

Mine was expressed from contemplation and experience in how healthy, loving masculine-feminine relationships work, based on my own relationship which I'm proud of. And in which my gf does a lot of things for me. "Trying to signal virtue" is a dishonourable dismissal.

Edited February 28 by Sincerity

[Norbert Somogyi]

A little late to the party.. I also just turned 27 and live on my own, so I can pretty much emphatize with what you are experiencing. 

Here's how I can imagine this process (and the path I am on, metaphorically)

• Feel out and cultivate your own inner garden that only you have access to. Explore everything it has the offer - the grass, the plants, the flowers, the trees, the ponds and the fauna that lives there. Practice gardening and start digging out the parasitic plants or bugs that keep you and the garden down from thriving. Things that eat your energy away (mostly without you noticing). Don't forget that you can seek out others who have done the same and would gladly help you with this process. You can replace these parasites with healthy plants that fit into the culture and can thrive while living in harmony with the rest of the garden.
• You were born into someone's garden and grew up there. It can be healthy to revisit that garden and see what the gardeners there are like and what have they been up to. No need to stay there forever, but such connections are deep and intricate, don't just throw them away.
• Don't forget that not only you have a garden, but others too. You can explore them and see what they are like, perhaps you can find some along the way that look similar to you and can help each other cultivating it - or just hang out and enjoy what life has to offer.
• Sometimes it can be healthy to sporadically (pun intended) seek out sages outside your garden - at their own oasis. They can show you a different perspective to life that may help you figure out what's best for your garden in this season and the next. No need to overdo it since it can easily lead to confusion.
• As you practice this type of gardening you experience a lot of things and not only get wiser on the way, but you will also gain connections that make life meaningful. You can find out nut justwhere you fit into your own garden (or the surrounding forest in general), but you can also find someone with whom you can support each other with gardening. Sooner or later if you both see it fit, together you can even start cultivating your own garden and reap the fruits of your labors. Season by season, eventually passing on the torch to the next generation.

In layman's terms - Get your shit together to the point you feel as a congruent man who knows what he wants. This can be done through inner work, psychedelics, therapy and most of the times your own personal combination of these. Find out what you feel most close to what you are meant to do in this world and how can you contribute. Something that brings you out of bed with joy, ready for each day no matter how challenging it feels. Learn to build relationships, make some friends and find some hobbies or stuff that feel meaningful to you. Eventually you will someone you cherish each other with, and if you feel like you are ready for marriage and beyond - you will know what to do.

I almost left it out, but don't neglect your family. Even if you can't connect deeply, they are in your life for a reason and love you how they best can. Figure out how you can fit into this system of inter-connected lives and what brings you pain and what you can forgive.

This sounds like basic self-help to the T, but I feel like this is being neglected here (within this community - it is easy to get lost in the meatphysical and spiritual endeavours - but they are not always the be-all and end-all). I don't feel like there is much more we can offer. All of us are on our own journeys and we can't really foresee when you or anyone else will get to the point where you feel ready for xyz and/or reach their goals, only you do. Just know that you are far from being late to the party, and instead of trying to jump to marriage find things that are in your control that can bring you one step closer to it each day. All the best!

Edited February 28 by Norbert Somogyi
Additional thoughs, corrections

[Sugarcoat]

First step would be overcoming that barrier you have around girls (in this example European you mentioned) you’re missing out chances because of your fear. Maybe you idealize them in your head you need to put them off that pedestal. Meet someone with openness and not some premade image you have of them

[Applegarden8]

When you feel like to. When you decide to, when you want to. When you have a chance to. Idk, just don't speedrun it because somebody at your work or family says or points "that you inherently don't have something they acquired". You should never feel guilty for who you are because of some insecure and projecting person. They have it and they are still miserable... it's NOT your problem.

Edited Tuesday at 02:52 PM by Applegarden8