When should I get married ?

[Something Funny]

3 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Another thing I notice also is its the same people (men), that come at me when I speak on dating and relationships. The same ones. The same ones that keep opposing what I say in this section of the forum. The same ones. 

I don't even oppose what you've said that much. At least some of it. Sure what he wants is quite primitive or whatever. I just don't like people who are arrogant and mean to others.

[Princess Arabia]

@Something Funny stick to the OPs request now please and let's not turn this thread into I hate what Princess Arabia has to say about relationships all the time thread. You're always behind my name everytime I speak my mind on relationships rebutting my views and opinions. It will be refreshing to see someone else's healthy opinions for once who doesn't seem to have an unhealthy relationship with women and themselves overall and who doesn't seem to be projecting. Between you and Hojo..the hate is prevalent and obviously coming from a general disdain for women.

[Someone here]

8 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

I don't even oppose what you've said that much. At least some of it. Sure what he wants is quite primitive or whatever. I just don't like people who are arrogant and mean to others.

What's primitive in what I Want ? What's primitive about needing some nurturing feminine energy in my life because I Live a Cold brutal lonely life ? What's wrong about going back to sweet home after a long stressful day and find my WIFE have prepared some vegetable soup to me or can massage my fucking balls and cock ? 

Edited Wednesday at 07:04 PM by Someone here

[Something Funny]

On 2/18/2025 at 5:17 PM, Princess Arabia said:

So demeaning. That's why you have a crush on those European girls because they don't remind you of maids. Unfortunately, they won't fit your bill and you'll have to settle for the one that will suck your ting-a-ling when you come home from a hard day's work and open up the massage parlor for you with dinner served on a platter.

This is actually so demeaning and disrespectful, it actually makes me angry. As if that kind of girl is somehow worse then those fancy European girls and is someone to be "settled for". 

[Princess Arabia]

Princess Arabia has left this thread. That's enough. I will unfollow so I don't get notifications. 

[Something Funny]

4 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

You're always behind my name everytime I speak my mind

I've literally talked to you just twice in a span of a month, if not two months. 

 

4 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Between you and Hojo..the hate is prevalent and obviously coming from a general disdain for women.

Sure. Me an Hojo are so alike, like two drops of water. And I disdain women with all my heart 

Edited Wednesday at 07:04 PM by Something Funny

[Something Funny]

2 minutes ago, Someone here said:

What's primitive in what I Want ? What's primitive about needing some nurturing feminine energy in my life because I Live a Cold brutal lonely life ? What's wrong about going back to sweet home after a long stressful day and find my WIFE have prepared some vegetable soup to me or can massage my funking balls and cock ? 

1. All of those are just very base level needs. Nothing wrong with that, but they are.
2. The way you talk about them is how a caveman would talk about them. 

 

[Sincerity]

Guys, please stop making it personal. Respect OP’s wishes and stay on point, more or less at least.

[something_else]

2 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

It' not a well-balanced conversation and exchange of opinions and ideas if one is going to tell the other why they feel the way they do without insinuating its just a hunch or a feeling. Saying this with such precision that I'm saying what I'm saying only because it benefits me, is imo,.an attempt to influence the conversation in your favor while attempting to tarnish my viewpoint and putting your reasons behind why you may think I take such a stance. It isn't up to you to decipher why it is I feel the way I do but to either see my point for what it is or just disagree and state your opposing points as to why, which is exactly what I did with OP.

 

Oh give over. You were super judgemental towards OP right out the door. Trying to take the high road now is so disingenuous.

[Sincerity]

9 minutes ago, something_else said:

Oh give over. You were super judgemental towards OP right out the door. Trying to take the high road now is so disingenuous.

Please let it go.

Better reply whether you agree or no. 

[Yimpa]

Don’t worry about marriage yet. Just commit to a relationship for a while and it’ll transform into a marriage organically.

[Someone here]

On 20/02/2025 at 2:48 AM, Yimpa said:

Don’t worry about marriage yet. Just commit to a relationship for a while and it’ll transform into a marriage organically.

Thanks for the advice but that's not how it typically work . As the guy I  have to be proactive about it  . It can't flourish into a marriage or a serious relationship "organically ". I must lead the relationship into a marriage opportunity.  Not expecting the girl to do this step .it's the guy's role .

Edited Saturday at 12:58 PM by Someone here

[Someone here]

On 19/02/2025 at 10:08 PM, Something Funny said:

1. All of those are just very base level needs. Nothing wrong with that, but they are.
2. The way you talk about them is how a caveman would talk about them. 

 

1. Yeah they are basic needs .and I lack them unfortunately. Therefore I desire them . Got the logic ?

2.no I'm talking like this deliberately to make sure my point is clear. 

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

Marriage is BS. Never get married.

You know very well that you only want to get married in a delusional hope that it would give you some sort of added life purpose, guaranteed access to sex/intimacy, and so that you blend well with what is "normal" and culturally/socially encouraged. Big LOL to all of those reasons

[Someone here]

10 minutes ago, NewKidOnTheBlock said:

Marriage is BS. Never get married.

You know very well that you only want to get married in a delusional hope that it would give you some sort of added life purpose, guaranteed access to sex/intimacy, and so that you blend well with what is "normal" and culturally/socially encouraged. Big LOL to all of those reasons

No I don't give a shit about society or my self image or passing my genes or having offspring or none of that .

The only thing you've got right is intimacy. If I don't get married how am I gonna meet this basic need ?

Notice I said intimacy not sex .I've had sex few times .but the girls just fuck you and leave you . I want romance not just some intercourse . 

Are you familiar with Maslow's pyramid of needs ? It says sex and intimacy are at the very base of human needs .

P.s please edit your signature 

Edited Saturday at 01:27 PM by Someone here

[Elliott]

When you're confident that you and the woman can commit to being together for the rest of your lives, you both know what you want, and you work well together.

Edited Saturday at 01:29 PM by Elliott

[Someone here]

3 minutes ago, Elliott said:

When you're confident that you and the woman can commit to being together for the rest of your lives, you both know what you want, and you work well together.

Agree. So this means in my situation is I must graduate first and find a decent job .earn good money .and work on my confidence and life experience plus being a responsible man not an immature boy then I can start worrying about looking for the perfect match .

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

@Someone here You're just delusional, is the way I see it. Haven't thought it throught rigorously enough. What does even intimacy mean exactly and why would you need a marriage instead of regular relationship to fullfill this need?

"Immature boy" lol you should take responsibility for yourself, thats true, but just make sure someone is not brainwashing you as to what that responsibility means, and what "mature" means, but it occurs to me that you have no problem with being manipulated, so go ahead. I won't gice you any more advice

[Twentyfirst]

5 hours ago, NewKidOnTheBlock said:

@Someone here You're just delusional, is the way I see it. Haven't thought it throught rigorously enough. What does even intimacy mean exactly and why would you need a marriage instead of regular relationship to fullfill this need?

"Immature boy" lol you should take responsibility for yourself, thats true, but just make sure someone is not brainwashing you as to what that responsibility means, and what "mature" means, but it occurs to me that you have no problem with being manipulated, so go ahead. I won't gice you any more advice

You don't get married to have a woman lol. Sex is free nowadays and you can access it without marriage 

It's mostly for kids

Don't have kids out of wedlock

[Xonas Pitfall]

Quote

The thing is I go through lots of stress everyday because I basically live alone in my apartment and I have to do everything for myself. I wish I could just go home and find a wife who can cook for me ..sooth me..relax me..give me a massage..suck my "thing "  ...you know basically a wife. 

I think the reason there was some "outrage" is because of how you worded it. It didn't really come across as, "I feel like I found a really good partner to build my life with. I like who she is, what she stands for, and I think we'd be great long-term because we balance each other out." Instead, it sounded more like you just want to get married to feel soothed, less lonely, and less tired.

That said, to answer your question - it's best to think of this as a long-term partnership, almost like a business partnership, rather than just a relationship. Ask yourself:

1. Where are you two heading? Do you have a shared vision for the future?
2. Do you truly understand what she needs from you and what you need from her?
3. Can you both provide those needs for each other consistently? In a manner that doesn't exhaust either of you?
4. Are you comfortable sharing expenses, bank accounts, structuring your life together, and making financial decisions as a team?
5. Can you envision having children with her if that's something you want? Does she want kids? Are you aligned on parenting values and responsibilities?
6. If she got sick or lost her looks, would you stand by her, support her, and help her through it - or would you feel tempted to cheat?
7. Can you see yourself still feeling attraction and love for her as you both age? What would make either of you cheat, and how can you safeguard against that?
8. How do you both handle conflict? Do you communicate well and resolve issues in a healthy way?
9. What are her core values, and do they align with yours? Do you respect her worldview, decision-making, and approach to life?
10. Have you discussed how you will set up your household - division of labor, roles, expectations, and responsibilities?
11. Are you both willing to adapt, accommodate, and work through challenges as a team?

Have an open, deep discussion with her about both of your life goals, how you want to build your future together, and what you both need to maintain love and commitment over the years. If most things align well and you're both willing to put in the effort, then marriage makes sense. If not, don't rush into it. This is one of the biggest decisions of your life - take the time to truly think it through. Otherwise, divorce can be a very painful experience.

Good luck!