When should I get married ?

[Princess Arabia]

3 hours ago, something_else said:

I understand and agree with this. Most healthy relationships don't put heavy expectations on either member to pay all of the bills or do all of the house work. You figure out a fair distribution of bills and housework that works for you.

It's just @Princess Arabia's framing that annoyed me, where in one breath she says that "expecting a woman to do chores is despicable" while in the next saying "expecting a man to pay for everything is totally fine". It's a very hard stance to justify.

Yea of course. And on the flipside a woman should be able to earn money and pay for stuff herself too.

You have put words into my mouth and have totally massacred my stance on this by your own interpretation of what I said. I never used the word despicable and I never said the man pays for everything, nor did I say a woman should never do chores. 

Also, yes a woman can work and pay her own bills when she lives by herself and is unmarried or is in a roommate situation.

Edited Wednesday at 04:37 PM by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

3 minutes ago, Sincerity said:

Funny, he's my celebrity crush. Hehe. I wonder if he'd make me pay the electric bill. Lol

[Elliott]

1 hour ago, Sincerity said:

The key insight is that to love is to ACT from love. Just having fluffy feelings is not enough.

When you love, you act for another. If she doesn’t give anything back, there is something wrong there.

But you'll divorce her if she doesn't cook, clean, or work. LMAO

Edited Wednesday at 04:40 PM by Elliott

[Someone here]

im sad that most people who commented here have "misread" me and got so off guard by that reference I mentioned regarding what I'd like my wife to do to me . I'm here posting on this forum since 2020 .you should know me by now and my posting style. I like to get cute or whatever . And you guys are so goddam focused on  that paragraph about  cooking and massage and blowjob but apparently everyone are blind to the paragraph in which I literally said "marriage is NOT just sex.its a relationship that ought to last for a lifetime ". Why not focus on this statement instead of the cringy statement? 

Anyways ...if anyone can wise up and stop this fuss and give me  positive constructive practical advice regarding my main issue then please go ahead .

[something_else]

Quote

You have put words into my mouth and have totally massacred my stance on this by your own interpretation of what I said. I never used the word despicable and I never said the man pays for everything, nor did I say a woman should never do chores. 

I was paraphrasing to an extent but you made your position of "It's OK for a woman to expect the man to pay the bills but it's not OK for a man to expect his wife to cook and clean" pretty clear in the following quotes:

 

On 18/02/2025 at 4:17 PM, Princess Arabia said:

I feel sorry for that poor wife if those are her duties. Sounds more like a sex maid. Unfortunately a lot of women don't know any better and have been conditioned into thinking they need to be a maid to be a wife. So demeaning.

Quote

Living with a man and expecting him to pay the bills is not using him as an ATM. Im so tired of explaining things to you in this field. You'll get it in a few years....or not.

Quote

Cooking and cleaning are chores, bill paying is not. I am not living with a man under roommate conditions. I cook or clean if I choose, the bills aren't optional. For you it might be "can't have your cake and eat it", for plenty of men, they are happy to have you as a wife without you needing to do their chores and still keep you safe and protected as a woman by taking care of the household. 

Society has conditioned us into believing a lot of crap. A woman isn't supposed to be a maid to a man, but a man is supposed to provide for and protect his FAMILY.

She cooks and cleans if she chooses, bills aren't an option. I'm speaking of marriages or live-ins here.

 

Quote

Also, yes a woman can work and pay her own bills when she lives by herself and is unmarried or is in a roommate situation.

And why not when she's married? Because that's the man's job? lol

Edited Wednesday at 04:59 PM by something_else

[Sincerity]

20 minutes ago, Elliott said:

But you'll divorce her if she doesn't cook, clean, or work. LMAO

Is this a serious reply to my post?

Don’t start trolling when you don’t have any proper response.

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, something_else said:

I was paraphrasing to an extent but you made your position pretty clear in the following statements: "It's OK for a woman to expect the man to pay the bills but it's not OK for a man to expect his wife to cook and clean"

 

 

And why not when she's married? Because that's the man's job? lol

Why not when she's married because a man is supposed to take care of his family. Provisions are supposed to be in place for a woman to feel safe and protected in the marriage, yes. It's a man's obligation. That's what men do. That's who they are. They are providers and protectors by nature if they're not rebelling against society and women, or are ignorant to this like you are..it's not about being his job. Does a mother raise her kids with love and kindness  because it's her job. No it's instinctual. It's also instinctial for men to protect their territories. He's doing it as  protection and not as a job. To make her and his family feel safe and protected. No one said if needs be, and situation arises that other provisions can't be made or things can't be temporarily put in place, and FYI I'm speaking about marriages or at least long-term live-in relationships. 

[Someone here]

I just want to marry an adorable girl and live my life with her and share my journey with and YES I want her to make me sick and tired of blowjobs .as if there is any shame or "low consciousness "(oh my god whatever the hell that means coming from you Michael). ..I  say as if there is anything wrong in wanting your wife to give you head . And BTW I did mention cooking but I don't remember saying anything about "cleaning ". So that's what I'm asking about ..and so far you guys are  waging debates and online wars about women should do this and men should not do that etc . Where is actual advice ? Zero.

Edited Wednesday at 05:14 PM by Someone here

[josemar]

5 minutes ago, Someone here said:

I just want to marry an adorable girl and live my life with her and share my journey with and YES I want her to make me sick and tired of blowjobs .as if there is any shame or "low consciousness "(oh my god whatever the hell that means coming from you Michael). ..I  say as if there is anything wrong in wanting your wife to give you head . And BTW I did mention cooking but I don't remember saying anything about "cleaning ". So that's what I'm asking about ..and so far you guygfs are  waging debates and online wars about women should do this and men should not do that etc . Where is actual advice ? Zero.

Don't get married, keep them lean and mean... After marriage there's much less incentive for the woman to satisfy your needs. 

Edit: what's better than an adorable girl? 2 adorable girls 😉

Edited Wednesday at 05:18 PM by josemar

[Elliott]

25 minutes ago, Sincerity said:

Is this a serious reply to my post?

Don’t start trolling when you don’t have any proper response.

You don't see you're boldface lying to yourself and OP?

Will you not divorce a woman that does not work or cook? She's nice to you, and hugs you when you come home, but you don't have sex, she just watches soap operas all day.

Calling out your lying virtue signalling post is not trolling.

Edited Wednesday at 05:29 PM by Elliott

[Princess Arabia]

@something_elseThanks for highlighting my remarks once again. I stick by my words and the point I'm trying to get across..Maybe if you try to see them with an open mind, not through the lens of what you think I'm trying to say, maybe thinking or believing there's malice behind my viewpoints, you might see my points in a different light whether you agree or disagree.

One can still disagree with what I'm saying while still understanding where the mindset of such viewpoints originate without thinking they stem from manipulation and control which.is not where my head's at. It stems from what I truly believe to be how healthy relationships are formed and how both.partners can truly express fully the love they both feel for each other and how the masculine/feminine dynamic flourishes.  

.

Edited Wednesday at 05:20 PM by Princess Arabia

[Someone here]

3 minutes ago, josemar said:

Don't get married, keep them lean and mean... After marriage there's much less incentive for the woman to satisfy your needs. 

Why do you think so ? Are you married? Have a gf ? Single ?etc what's your experience to say this ?

[Someone here]

@Princess Arabia can you pretty please get out of this thread ?

[Sincerity]

1 minute ago, Elliott said:

You don't see you're boldface lying to yourself and OP?

Will you not divorce a woman that does not work or cook? She's nice to you, and hugs you when you come home, but you don't have sex, she just watches soap operas all day.

Please read my reply to you again and point to where I said that it’s okay when a person has „love” and is „nice” but doesn’t do anything for their partner.

[Elliott]

1 minute ago, Sincerity said:

Please read my reply to you again and point to where I said that it’s okay when a person has „love” and is „nice” but doesn’t do anything for their partner.

Here

5 hours ago, Sincerity said:

 

I think the best scenario is when a man gives (eg. by paying the bills) AND doesn’t expect back. This makes the woman feel loved and free.

 

[something_else]

17 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Why not when she's married because a man is supposed to take care of his family. Provisions are supposed to be in place for a woman to feel safe and protected in the marriage, yes. It's a man's obligation. That's what men do. That's who they are. They are providers and protectors by nature if they're not rebelling against society and women, or are ignorant to this like you are..it's not about being his job. Does a mother raise her kids with love and kindness  because it's her job. No it's instinctual. It's also instinctial for men to protect their territories. He's doing it as  protection and not as a job. To make her and his family feel safe and protected. No one said if needs be, and situation arises that other provisions can't be made or things can't be temporarily put in place, and FYI I'm speaking about marriages or at least long-term live-in relationships. 

This is all totally fine. Like, completely fine. You're allowed to feel this way. But if you're going to believe stuff like this then you can't get angry at a guy saying he wants a woman to cook and clean for him.

[Princess Arabia]

2 minutes ago, Someone here said:

@Princess Arabia can you pretty please get out of this thread ?

I'm sorry, but unless you can show me where I'm either trolling, being disrespectful, commenting off-topic or being totally unreasonable, you don't have any right asking me to leave a thread just because you have a difference of opinion, especially if I'm not continuously defaming anyone and being respectful in my conversations.

This forum doesn't cater to thread starters as owning a thread they can just ask people to exit from simply because they are in opposition to member's opinions.

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, something_else said:

This is all totally fine. Like, completely fine. You're allowed to feel this way. But if you're going to believe stuff like this then you can't get angry at a guy saying he wants a woman to cook and clean for him.

Getting angry at and simply stating an opposition are totally different things. Also, I don't see the similarities between the two.

Edited Wednesday at 05:31 PM by Princess Arabia

[Someone here]

@Princess Arabia I just want advice regarding my situation. Not endless debates between keyboard warriors about freaking  "feminine &masculine dynamic " and other such mere abstractions and word games.

But You are right.  Drop your integrity and stay. No worries. 

[something_else]

4 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Also, I don't see the similarities between the two.

Yea because it benefits you not to. Like I said, you want to have your cake and eat it too.