I Can't Date a Trump Supporter

[MsNobody]

I lived in California for 9 years and moved to Florida over a year ago, and it seems like the majority of people here are Trump supporters and Im finding myself in a difficult place when it comes to dating.

Im a moderate and grew up conservative in Brazil, Im not super into politics, but I do know the basics and voting for Trump IMO is just a sign of low intelligence, Im no radical and I respect everyone, I do have friends who voted for Trump but I just avoid talking about politics with them, Ive also noticed that most people who like to talk about politics are the people who know the least and are very biased, the conversation is all about judging the opponent and defending their point of view, black and white thinking. 

I love Jonathan Haidt's content and all sources I can get about politics that can show me the big picture and/or an impartial view of the whole, so don't get me wrong thinking Im here to just pick/defend a side.

This week I stopped talking to two guys because not only they are Trump supporter but they do believe he is making good moves that will benefit evryone/them, and in a way it will (they are success/money oriented which is very self serving), but it's a major turn off for me, and I want to know if Im being too extremist or radical?

I actually tried dating them before and eventually we had a conflict of values that set us apart.

Im generalizing but it seems to be two kinds of men out there right now, the toxic masculine Trump Supporter or the soy boy beta man too trapped in spirituality and no groundness in reality. 

Edited February 13 by MsNobody

[Salvijus]

Nobody is forcing you to date them. So what's the problem?

[MsNobody]

34 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

Nobody is forcing you to date them. So what's the problem?

That doesn’t respond my question but thank you for your input 

[Elliott]

I myself wouldn't even date someone who's family are Trump supporters. I'm dating for marriage this only applies because of that, but there's definitely a no go with it for me. It's a giant red flag, sure there's a possibility you could find someone you enjoy being with but the tendency in my experience is overwhelmingly a conflict in basic and important values like compassion and greed.

[Salvijus]

Okay sorry I should've put more thought into my comment. Here's a more thoughtful response.

Your heart is capable of relating harmoniously with every individual  from every background, of every age and idealogy. But your egoic prejudices will block and narrow your loving heart only to those that suit your egoic agenda. The protection of these prejudices are not in your best interest if you wish to evolve as a human being. This is not to say that you should not have preferences tho. It's okay to desire to be in a more pleasent atmosphere than not. I would base who I want to be in company with simply by their presence, energy and wholesomeness rather than their beliefs. Their presence is what truly matters, everything else is secondary. Besides you will never find another person with exactly the same opinions as yours. So it would be wise to learn to hold different views without ostracizing and demonizing one another. That I feel is wisdom. 

[Recursoinominado]

2 hours ago, MsNobody said:

Im being too extremist or radical?

I don't think so. It's just that with wisdom, you can kind of see what will happen eventually in the future. If you don't respect your partner for some dumb opinion they have, it is hard to maintain a deep and prosperous relationship with that person for the long term. 

And that's the curse of self-developed people, to be alone, in most cases.  Very hard to find others who are approaching stage yellow. 

[gettoefl]

Have a no-politics rule for the first month just like people have a no-sex rule. As a bonus, this will demonstrate how self controlled or out of control they are. Second bonus is you might get to know the deeper them and the deeper you. People's politics often bears no correlation to the way they live - in which case it matters little. So if you can like each other after a month, you might be able to partner with someone who has opposite views after all. Politics can be a deal breaker but you have to bring some nuance to this.

In my life there are some I consider good friends whose politics I loathe and if they start lecturing then I withdraw attention.

[Raze]

2 hours ago, MsNobody said:

I

Im generalizing but it seems to be two kinds of men out there right now, the toxic masculine Trump Supporter or the soy boy beta man too trapped in spirituality and no groundness in reality. 

Sounds like you want traditional values without a traditional man. Usually it doesn’t work that way.

[Etherial Cat]

2 hours ago, MsNobody said:

I lived in California for 9 years and moved to Florida over a year ago, and it seems like the majority of people here are Trump supporters and Im finding myself in a difficult place when it comes to dating.

Im a moderate and grew up conservative in Brazil, Im not super into politics, but I do know the basics and voting for Trump IMO is just a sign of low intelligence, Im no radical and I respect everyone, I do have friends who voted for Trump but I just avoid talking about politics with them, Ive also noticed that most people who like to talk about politics are the people who know the least and are very biased, the conversation is all about judging the opponent and defending their point of view, black and white thinking. 

I love Jonathan Haidt's content and all sources I can get about politics that can show me the big picture and/or an impartial view of the whole, so don't get me wrong thinking Im here to just pick/defend a side.

This week I stopped talking to two guys because not only they are Trump supporter but they do believe he is making good moves that will benefit evryone/them, and in a way it will (they are success/money oriented which is very self serving), but it's a major turn off for me, and I want to know if Im being too extremist or radical?

I actually tried dating them before and eventually we had a conflict of values that set us apart.

Im generalizing but it seems to be two kinds of men out there right now, the toxic masculine Trump Supporter or the soy boy beta man too trapped in spirituality and no groundness in reality. 

You're absolutely entitled not to want to date someone who doesn't align with or resonate with your political preferences. There’s no guilt in that.

Personally, if I were living in Florida, I’d probably take a strong stance—no dating, no marriage, no children with Trump supporters. My ideals of masculinity are so far removed from the world they want to create that I know I wouldn't enjoy being in a romantic relationship with any of them.

For me, romantic relationships are also about some kind of admiration/satisfaction. I want to be with a man whose daily actions, or at least his intentions, contribute to preserving harmony, social cohesion, and progress.

When it comes to significant friendships, I also need to feel like they’re at least somewhat socially conscious.

Core values need to match for quality relationships.

Whenever I meet someone, if I don't get this kind of informations through observation, I ask very early on what's their perspective like on key, very revealing matters.

If I find out they are not aligned, I'll give them my most beautiful slow fade and low interest vibe for them to understand that I'm not much into that connection.

The hard one is when you get tricked by finding out months after when you are already emotionally involved. I would avoid this at all cost.

Nowadays I've gotten wiser and I'm finally in the zone where I spot red flags and green flags. For instance, I've cleared my social medias and follow 90% of emotionally intelligent men to remind me what the standard should be. The other ones can go kick rocks and circle jerk in their conditioning pool until they find the light.

 

Edited February 13 by Etherial Cat

[Rafael Thundercat]

@MsNobody Looks like a Double Bind. The solution is in the middle. Ask Leo if he is open to relationship. 

[Jodistrict]

If they irritate you that much, it’s not going to work out.  But if you reject both the Trump supporters and the new age soy boys, you might end up with a neotantra predator.   But keep in mind, a legitimate spiritual path is difficult and requires the discipline to face reality, the opposite of avoiding it, which is the modern world with its endless distractions and entertainment.

 

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

You lost me with that soy boy shit, unless a dude has literaly, medically proven low testosterone, or he's a soy eater (the two can correlate no doubt) then you have no grounds to call someone a soy boy. What's non soy behaviour for you, always being an innitiator and a leader, kissing your ass, etc.? LOL ya women can define and redefine all types of shit as masculine or non masculine, and say all types of shit fr

Anyways, I find people who are obsessed with politics a little bit repulsive, not in terms of raw physical attractiveness but just their personality gets uglier in my eyes, they are less likeable as people. Which is also important factor to consider of course. So I completely understand you in this respect

[Hojo]

Ironically by saying this you are also saying you cannot date a democrat. If the US is a 2 party system you just cancelled yourself out of dating anyone that believes in the country or government.

Edited Thursday at 09:35 PM by Hojo

[Gennadiy1981]

9 hours ago, MsNobody said:

 

Im generalizing but it seems to be two kinds of men out there right now, the toxic masculine Trump Supporter or the soy boy beta man too trapped in spirituality and no groundness in reality. 

Hi, and this is a constructive criticism so don’t take it personally. The problem is in you and not in the people you date. You view the world as black and white and this is not how it is. It’s unfortunately how America is today, you have to be either this or that, you support this party or another party. Just coming from Washington myself and attending hearing for RFK Jr. for the first time I saw how people are polarized, honestly most humans lost touch with the world. 

Just reading you last statement, you divides people into two extremes with negative connotation on both ends. If you won’t change your mentality then you will be meeting people who as you say are either toxic or soy boys. Every person is unique and every person has different characters and qualities. Once you stop separating people into extreme divisions, you will quickly find right people. 

[integral]

It's completely reasonable. I wouldn't want to date a Nazi. I wouldn't want to date a unconscious or conscious racist.

Someone who is supporting Trump likely has different values then you.

But being racist or Nazi is different from supporting Trump even though the line is blurred.

Voting for Trump is more similar to personal preferences like someone who has a favorite football team.

They're not thinking deeply about this.

There are many people who are very intelligent in the public domain who have terrible politics.

Even SadGuru voted for Trump.

Even conscious people can have good or bad politics.

It's in fact very common. Because it's a completely different domain and requires hard work and effort to master that domain that is outside even a gurus awareness.

Edited Thursday at 11:12 PM by integral

[LordFall]

I would encourage you to make a steelman for trump voters and that will help you understand them better as if you think they're mostly dumb you're misguided. Having said that alignment of values is paramount for dating especially long term so if you don't resonate with them that's a valid take.

I would make your dating strategy global as there are plenty of men worldwide that are not trump supporters nor weak soyboys. 

[Basman]

A persons core values doesn't necessarily equate neatly into high quality politics because politics is its own domain that requires years of deliberate study. Most people aren't serious about politics so why are you taking their politics seriously? It doesn't matter if someone voted Trump as much you seem to think it does.

And your obviously a woman. Your understandably less willing to compromise on standards to seize an opportunity due to greater abundance and greater risks taken in a relationship. Thus checking off boxes.

Its really kind of convenient if you think about it, to demand that people align with your politics. Its kind of "echochambery" and anti-diverse thought. Its arguably quiet unloving to be this partisan, especially considering how ignorance and fear drives a lot conservatism. You are not even willing to give them a chance. You live in a world where the vast majority of people are conservative at all times. Just being less critical will make you happier.

[trenton]

@MsNobody thanks for saying what I was thinking. I just got done listening to Trump supporting go on for over an hour about various conspiracy theories including claims that January 6th was faked by the FBI. She isn't bothered that nobody elected Elon Musk to hijack all the government agencies, but she is bothered that the employees were not elected. She was adamant that illegal immigrants are horrible people raping and killing us.

It's simply impossible to have a high quality and reasonable conversation about politics with these kinds of people.

[Elliott]

Trump supporters are hardly political by category, they're more of a religion than what major religions are to most religious people. Being a Trump supporter means some specific things and values, it's nothing like a sports fan or typical political differences, a couple can disagree on welfare and tax rates, even abortion, but you can't disagree about lying and respect for others.

Edited Friday at 09:37 AM by Elliott

[Yimpa]

Maybe you’ll be the one who helps upgrade his worldview.