Goal tracking

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

I may use this section as a daily goal tracking tool, the consistency and quality of it being dependent on my willingness to care about it. It sort of has some element of accountibility partnering to it, though generally people reading this do not actually care to monitor my progress, it still has that feeling

It's also unclear just how much stuff I'll be willing to share about myself here, as I generally don't like to be vulnerable with random people, and especially not that comfortable with sharing my faults, regardless of how anonymous this forum may be. Perhaps I'll keep everything abbreviated in such a way in which the posts would be only understandable for me, or perhaps I'll share more. I'll see

Regardless, I'd like to take life more seriously and progress in all areas of life (which I deem worthy of bettering and worthy of being goal-chased in the first place) with consistency, rigor, and unyielding will and patience. While also embodying higher consciousness values that I care about. And I am going to end this innitial post vaguely like that

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

Problem with goal setting for me, is that it's just hard for me to give a fuck about anything, due to my natural temperament and all the stuff I know about the world that demotivates me heavilly. But I will, nevertheless, try

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

Today I would like to ace my job interview (or at the very least do the best I can), then after returning home prepare for a job interviews planned for the next day and the day after that. As well as getting some good strength based, whole body workout in

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

It is quite late already so I'm not going to do the workout. I'll do it tomorow

Interview went as good as I would expect it to go. They told me I had potential but obviously lacked a lot of experience, then told me they'd let me know by the end of this week how they decided. They probably won't take me but honestly, I can do the waiting game. I'll just keep applying to these positions and keep living of fucking instant soups if I have to. I'm not going to downgrade myself to work as a shop clerk or some shit, no sir. The only direction I accept is going upward

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

I think that a good ideal I can strive towards, is getting to the point of having the perfect balance in my life. Relationship wise, money/career wise, fun/vice wise (my vice is playing this very specific mnorpg game, which I just always liked for some reason, moreso than any other game honestly). Exercise wise, etc. etc. Good life is about finding balance, mantaining that balance and changing various variables of that balance depending on your life circumstances

It is however difficult to tell exactly what such a balance should be exactly and it is tricky to find it

Edited February 13 by NewKidOnTheBlock

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

Balance is not always being neutral or being somewhere on the moderate parts of the scales though. There are some things in which there are pretty much binary choices, and you have to pick one or the other. And stick with it. For example, you can only pick monogamy or sleeping around, but you cannot have it both ways. You can also only have kids or not have them, but there is no inbetween choice

Edited February 13 by NewKidOnTheBlock

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

I think I'll be applying for physical jobs only from now on. A definitive shift in my career direction.

I think I've made a mistake. In what I was studying and for what I was going for. It was a mistake.

These corporate office jobs are just too far up in their own ass in what they're requiring. And it's not like not knowing or not being capable of doing the stuff they require makes me necessarilly dumb. I suppose it makes me kinda dumb and useless in their limited perception of what they consider to be usefull for them. And in the eyes of all people who think this is what defines a bulk of your inteligence. I mean it kind of does, there's no denying that some of the stuff required for these positions, such as analytical thinking, high levels of abstract thinking, having expertise in various fields and various softwares; etc. etc. requires a lot of specific type of inteligence. And also a certain mindset that is required for facilitating this inteligence and your general usefullness for the company.

But for me, the king marker of inteligence is whether you are living a good life or not. Anything else is secondary, tertiary etc. etc.

I've seen a lot of smokers, fat people, or people who look like shit in general in these offices. It's just an undeniable observation.

However, needless to say the best jobs combine both high levels of mental + physical prowess, and those will be the last to be replaced by A.I. Those will be the ones I'll be aiming for from now on

 

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

All jobs kinda suck tho. Always at least a little bit. To be honest. Can't really escape that. At the same time all of them are absolutely necessary for a society, I've never denied that

At the same time, who really cares about society. I did not choose to be here. LOL

People motivate themselves with all sorts of BS to go to a job and put on a performance, or study this and that, and create all sorts of believe systems around it but say you weren't forced to do anything for a survival (in terms of money), would you still do something. I know I most likely wouldn't do shit, and I'd be happy with it for the most part. Maybe sometime down the line I'd start being productive out of my own free will, but that's only maybe. A hypothetical. Can't be the only one who's like that. I refuse to believe that

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

Guess I have a wrong attitude dont I? LOL

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

Regardless, my general direction might change but in the meantime, short term I will keep banging my head against the same wall until I get that job. Bitch prolly thought I'd be homeless or in some deep troublesome shit or something LOL well they were fuckin wrong

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

Stop checkin my profile. Faggets

There. Disabled.

Edited March 6 by NewKidOnTheBlock

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

Just have to consciously choose to not get controlled by a few specific chemicals in my brain, that's all. That's the whole battle. Consciousness is not dependent on these chemicals after all. I have a free will and I can consciously choose what to do daily. Don't get swayed, don't get swayed, don't get swayed. Focus, focus, focus

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

You have to seek a boring semi ascetic sort of life to get the most out of it. It's very counterintuitive. If you keep seeking excitement you'll start to get bored and you'll have to keep seeking higher and higher levels of excitement, whereas if you have a boring life, then even the little things will start to excite you

Edited March 7 by NewKidOnTheBlock

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

I don't know. I don't care. I don't know. I don't care.

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

It is a strange thing that I've chosen and am continually choosing to live out my days in such a passive, uneventfull manner, just sort of letting the days slip by. But I can't help it, I've always liked to be comfortable a bit too much. But it is a specific kind of comfortable joy I am seeking, it is not the kind of comfort fat people seek for example, it's different. It's like I keep wanting to remain a child

Edited March 11 by NewKidOnTheBlock

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

I've been doing some thinking. About my options. I think a goal that might motivate me, is a goal of "stop working by the age of 40". Whether that means actually stop working i.e. early retirement, or on the other hand doing something I actually would do for free anyway - or whatever really. But the idea is that I don't want to work anymore by the age of 40. I think this could be realistic, I've got 15 years to figure something out

Society would like you to work until you die because they want to extract as much value and juice out of you as possible. But I don't even want to work until the official retirement age.

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

No more chit chatting with other users. I will still be posting responses to any topic from other people or even trolly response if it pleases me to do so, but only a singular response per topic, no more. And absolutely no back and forth type of thing. I believe just by seeing how you posters respond to others, I can already know what your views are and how they compare to my own views, so I would not get any additional value from any bit of back and forth. I am of the belief that I am smarter than all of you (yes, even smarter than you, dear reader)

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

Hopefully there once comes a point at which I'll be pursuing specific XY things to such a degree that their pursuit becomes a sufficient evidence for me to have an actual use of this journal LMAO (Im not actually laughing but I am amused) and start tracking them down systematically

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

Why you so curious Lostingenosmaze, just come out of the closet already will you. LMAO

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

The more I understand how life works, the more I inclinate towards anti natalism, perhaps even efilism

Edited March 24 by NewKidOnTheBlock