How will I make friends after college

[machinegun]

I need human relationships to be happy, and I have otherwise been unsuccessful at building friendships in college. 

For the past couple of years, I have felt like I have no hope for making new friends because I wouldn't even know where to look.

I know there are things like social clubs for adults, but it feels very forced. Where can I go or what can I do to make friends?

 

 

[Sugarcoat]

If it was hard in college it’s gonna be even harder outside of it. Why was it hard in college? I am going to uni this autumn and I believe I will struggle too because I’m quite quiet and can be a little awkward although I’ve overcame my shyness. I’m open to the possibility of making new friends but it’s not a need I have, I’m fine if I end up alone too. But I understand you aren’t because the average person is wired for relationships.

[machinegun]

@Sugarcoat my school is known to be socially dead. My attempts to socialize with my classmates didn't go very far. In all my socializing I wasn't able to find my people, and I wasn't able to connect with anyone. I don't think I understood them, and I don't think anyone understood me either. It was a very bizzare experience. When I studied abroad I found people I connected with, and so I made friends, but they are there and I am here.

[Sugarcoat]

16 minutes ago, machinegun said:

@Sugarcoat my school is known to be socially dead. My attempts to socialize with my classmates didn't go very far. In all my socializing I wasn't able to find my people, and I wasn't able to connect with anyone. I don't think I understood them, and I don't think anyone understood me either. It was a very bizzare experience. When I studied abroad I found people I connected with, and so I made friends, but they are there and I am here.

I understand how hard it can be to find like minded people. If that’s not a criteria for you then you could find something to connect over with different type of people unlike you. That’s how I try to think, there’s always something to connect over even if the person is different. I try to be open towards the possibility always. But it takes two to tango so if the other doesn’t show interest in engagement in friendship then one has to eventually back of from attempts. So I know it can be hard. I wonder how it will be for me in uni. Maybe it differs from country to country too some cultures are more sociable like I live in Sweden and it’s not the most sociable country …

But I’d suggest not giving up, not pushing it with people who don’t show interest back but keep showing interest (if it’s there) and eventually someone might reciprocate 

[machinegun]

@Sugarcoat I think what is difficult is that the kids I go to college with do not share any of the same interests as me (like travel, or going out which is surprising for college age kids) nor do they have any sort of drive in their lives which makes me not able to respect them. Of course I would befriend someone if we had interests in common, but the problem is they are simply not motivated to get out of the house and do shit. I can't say I know much about Sweden, but if you're anything like me the goal wasn't to be a social guy in college- the goal was to find a group of lifelong friends.

[Rishabh R]

@Sugarcoat best of luck for University.

[Sugarcoat]

10 hours ago, Rishabh R said:

@Sugarcoat best of luck for University.

Thanks

[Sugarcoat]

11 hours ago, machinegun said:

@Sugarcoat I think what is difficult is that the kids I go to college with do not share any of the same interests as me (like travel, or going out which is surprising for college age kids) nor do they have any sort of drive in their lives which makes me not able to respect them. Of course I would befriend someone if we had interests in common, but the problem is they are simply not motivated to get out of the house and do shit. I can't say I know much about Sweden, but if you're anything like me the goal wasn't to be a social guy in college- the goal was to find a group of lifelong friends.

Okay I see. It can be hard when people are so different from you, but amongst all those people it gotta be someone who shares something with you. Then it’s about keep looking and eventually you might find them

[Schizophonia]

Just approach others with friendliness and interest.

[Basman]

Forming friendships is part demographics, part taking interest in others. You need to be where people are and you need to lead conversations with interest in others (asking questions, commenting, making jokes, etc.). Don't try to force a connection by talking. Feel for chemistry. You can feel it if your hitting it off and becomes effortless to relate, which is when its perfect to invite people to deepen the connection (and they are more likely to accept).

Its simple way of making friends is become active in an interest that has a social aspect where you meet other people, like a sport or a hobby. As you become a regular you'll end up spending a good amount of time with the other regulars who share your interest and proclivities most likely. If you join a wargaming club, you'll be exposed to a lot of barrel shaped men that enjoy pop-culture references, military history and power metal.

[meta_male]

On 10.2.2025 at 0:08 AM, machinegun said:

Where can I go or what can I do to make friends?

What about online platforms and apps, facebook? Have you been solo travelling?

Edited February 13 by meta_male

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYp_hBqPbuA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERap8i3qpCw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7ghrUIiyzM

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-make-friends-master-key-new-friendships

 

[Hojo]

Tell God you want to make friends and then just smile at everyone you come across.