Motivating myself to let go of it all

[CoolDreamThanks]

Been watching Euphoria and here are some thoughts:

Life's fucked up. Felt like I was reliving high school. Although it was never that bad, but still, a lot of drama, especially in the romantic relationship.

Drugs are... Bad.. Again, never been in such a low point, but came close a few times. Drugs are so insidious, especially when you are using them for awakening. They can creep up into your daily life and then become a seemingly helpful thing for awakening. But actually, they impair the mind - you lose like 20-40 IQ points whenever you are on them.  On the other hand, they are sedative and help you distract yourself from the suffering of life. That's why Ruu in Euphoria does them - life just sucks and drugs as well as relationships are main escape routes. I actually see them on the same level - both exert feel-good chemicals and make you addicted to them, then they hurt you. A lot. 

I've been able to let go of drugs by seeing just how stupid I am on them - how destructive for my life they are. They can blind you - you just drop down to a lower level of mind and think you are doing okay - but you are not. Pleasure blinds so much. 

In terms of things guys and girls do in Euphoria - I've let go of that as well. A human cannot love - it's impossible. Ego's have no such capability. I've tried again and again and I clearly see that no one in this world will be able to love me the way I want to be loved - truly. 

Once again, one of my favorite videos:
 

I thought I'll jailbreak the system - I know there's no love here - let me just go to clubs and hook up. Those girls sucked, lol. They would adore me, but they... Just regular ego's.. I would also waste a lot of money. I prefer just taking care of that myself - much better - no drama, saves money. Although it's one of the things I will have to let go. 

If I didn't have this overwhelming sex drive I wouldn't have made probably over a hundred stupid decisions.. Maybe a thousand. I'm trying to do it as much as I can so I would sort of feel satisfied with it and would be able to let go. 

I really love girls who don't think and do anything sexual - they have an aura of innocence around them and it's the most attractive thing ever. 

And it goes far in the opposite direction - a promiscuous girl is the most icky thing ever. 

Anyway, I feel like to really let it go, the underlying mechanism has to be uprooted - aka the ego. When I went on 2-month meditation retreats it wasn't difficult to maintain abstinence. But if I live a regular life - then I feel like there's a pressure buildup and it has to be released. Others report that they get more aggressive when they go on no-fap - and that's true. There's a buildup of tension. But if you live from Spirit - that's taken care of.


Another motivating factor, besides the fact that life sucks if you don't stuff it with distractions every moment of every day, is that if I let it all go, I feel amazing and my IQ skyrockets. When you are connected to Spirit you are connected to true wisdom and intelligence. People just looove being around you when you are deep in Presence. When I hang out with people in that state - I barely speak, but after, they tell me they feel like they had the best therapy session ever. Lol. Interesting. I love myself the most when I am there, too. That state is just amazing overall. Also, I think that finances get taken care of when I dedicate myself totally to awakening.

One of the things that's keeping me from going all in is - gaming. Not sure how to transcend this one. It's not a difficult one, in a sense, but I do miss it. The programming of this is not as deep as like food and sex, but it is very entertaining, like social media. Hmm.. 

Regarding food - I know what food is best for humans - just based on feeling - a sattvic diet feels amazing, and actually tastes good, although I do miss that explosion of flavor of junk food. 

Back to Euphoria - when I let go of it all and live purely in Spirit - there is a 1-2 week withdrawal period, and then it begins to get better. Luckily it's not as bad as in Euphoria, but it does feel like withdrawals. The good part is that in 1-2 months enlightenment experiences become pretty common and fan-fucking-tastic. 

I like my voice when I am living in Spirit - it's the main thing I search for when I want to see at what level a teacher is. Your tone of voice tells a lot - if you live from Presence - it's airy, peaceful, there's no tension. It's pleasant to listen to. Peter doesn't have this

I found that being alone is the most blissful thing. If I had an enlightened person to hang out with - that would be amazing as well - but spending time with egos is just.. uhhh... no thanks.. 

Living from Presence totally is so... profound.. There's no excitement, but there's a peace beyond understanding. There's not a lot of blabbering and doing, but there's such a deep tranquility and the enlightenment experiences are just sooo... insanely goood... I was captivated by this painting, and this is how it feels like to let it all go and just live in God:



It's also so rare, just a few people exist like this - Osho, Ekchart, Mooji, Lisa.

Maybe another motivating factor would be to document it and share - write and create videos - it is rather boring to just be in Presence and also there sometimes comes a desire to share from that state - perhaps that's a part of my path. 

Would like to buy a well-sounding, comfortable keyboard, though. I should probably just sell my 200 Eur pen I've bought.

[CoolDreamThanks]

 

The most holy association is to Be as you are. This is Freedom. This is beyond imagination, very new and very fresh. So just keep Quiet. Do not think. It is you. It is you. Don’t stir a thought, and if a thought comes, let it, don’t waver, don’t doubt your majesty. It is so simple. The one who has It will know that they have done it. When you are quiet it is Beauty, Joy and Stillness. It is effortless. Effort is to disturb your mind, effort is playing with corpses in the graveyard. Just contemplate that which is always silence. Go to the Source. Do not believe anything, simply stay quiet and return home and do not rest until you are there. Peace is only available when there is no “I” and you need an “I” to do practice. The secret to Bliss is to stop the search, stop thinking, stop not-thinking, and keep Quiet. The best practice is to Know “Who am I.” You are Brahman, know this. If you want to do anything, just Always adore Self. - Papaji


Ramakrishna was known to be obsessive about his wife's cooking. He would even interrupt teaching and go ask his wife what's cooking for dinner. She was embarrassed and asked him why are you so obsessed with food? He said dear wife, when I am no longer interested in food - I will leave. 
That is what beings who are close to awakening do - they consciously desire, or else they will leave. That's what desires are here for - they entangle you in the illusion. The deeper the letting go is the closer you are to MahaSamadhi. A Course in Miracles and Papaji both talk about earthly desires as things that children play with and that keep you stuck on earth. It's easy to see now that I've been on long retreats. If you could just let it all go - you would be enlightened. But there's tremendous resistance to doing so. This final metamorphosis into infinite love isn't easy to achieve. It's the end of human identity and this world - the end of dreams - and there's attachment to this identity - it's so comfy to be here - even though Heaven is infinitely better. 


Ananda Ma - your real friends are those who point you away from the world and into Silence. Everyone else is an enemy. 

[Salvijus]

3 hours ago, CoolDreamThanks said:

Ananda Ma - your real friends are those who point you away from the world and into Silence. Everyone else is an enemy. 

How do you square that with Jesus - everyone is your brother, turn your back on others and you're the one separated from the glory of God. 

[CoolDreamThanks]

7 hours ago, Salvijus said:

How do you square that with Jesus - everyone is your brother, turn your back on others and you're the one separated from the glory of God. 

I am Jesus

[CoolDreamThanks]

A laugh a day keeps the world away - Papaji

[CoolDreamThanks]

I’ve just been recruited to illuminati. Lol. That’s enough of tumblr for now. How stupid do they think I am? 😁😁

[CoolDreamThanks]

@Salvijus hahha but wait, Jesus says you should go with ur brother twice the distance he asks, so I should probably go ahead and join the illuminati to be with my brothers and the glory of god. Hahaha. Don’t be silly. Jesus talks about the level of the mind always, not how to be in the world. U can become my disciple if u want. But you will have to pay alot of money. Sorry. That’s the rules in the illuminati. 

[Salvijus]

7 hours ago, CoolDreamThanks said:

@Salvijus hahha but wait, Jesus says you should go with ur brother twice the distance he asks, so I should probably go ahead and join the illuminati to be with my brothers and the glory of god. Hahaha. Don’t be silly. Jesus talks about the level of the mind always, not how to be in the world. U can become my disciple if u want. But you will have to pay alot of money. Sorry. That’s the rules in the illuminati. 

Perhaps your brothers in illuminati would appreciate if you showed them the way, the life, and the truth to auspicious life. 

16 hours ago, CoolDreamThanks said:

Ananda Ma - your real friends are those who point you away from the world and into Silence. Everyone else is an enemy. 

What about - love your enemy? Is there really such a thing as an enemy to begin with? Or are we all family, sharing the same essence, ultimately longing for the same thing? 

Edited 12 hours ago by Salvijus

[CoolDreamThanks]

1 hour ago, Salvijus said:

Perhaps your brothers in illuminati would appreciate if you showed them the way, the life, and the truth to auspicious life. 

What about - love your enemy? Is there really such a thing as an enemy to begin with? Or are we all family, sharing the same essence, ultimately longing for the same thing? 

hahaha 

Wow. I had no idea you were this stupid. Well, not true. I did have an idea. 

Edited 10 hours ago by CoolDreamThanks

[CoolDreamThanks]

Wow! An interview with a grand master!  
 

Doesnt seem like they will send me money though.. sad

[Salvijus]

2 hours ago, Salvijus said:

What about - love your enemy? Is there really such a thing as an enemy to begin with? Or are we all family, sharing the same essence, ultimately longing for the same thing? 

You disagree with this part also? 

[CoolDreamThanks]

1 hour ago, Salvijus said:

You disagree with this part also? 

You just don't get it. It's like a child interpreting a master's teachings through his own delusional mind and thinking he's correct.

C'mon.. You don't even know that life is a dream.. And that's literally the main thing to learn in this life. Lol.. Until you do, all that you say and understand is completely and utterly wrong. 

You use quotes, but you have no idea wtf he is talking about since your baseline understanding is messed up. It's quite funny how arrogant you are, but pretend to be humble and holy. Lol.

[Salvijus]

1 hour ago, CoolDreamThanks said:

You just don't get it. It's like a child interpreting a master's teachings through his own delusional mind and thinking he's correct.

C'mon.. You don't even know that life is a dream.. And that's literally the main thing to learn in this life. Lol.. Until you do, all that you say and understand is completely and utterly wrong. 

You use quotes, but you have no idea wtf he is talking about since your baseline understanding is messed up. It's quite funny how arrogant you are, but pretend to be humble and holy. Lol.

How do you make sense of yeshua's quotes then? 

Edited 8 hours ago by Salvijus

[CoolDreamThanks]

29 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

How do you make sense of yeshua's quotes then? 

I understand them perfectly. Exactly as he intended them to be understood, since he’s always talking from a purely non-dual perspective, but that understanding is completly inacessible to you.  
 

When I say I am Jesus I am not joking. Not in the illusion, but from the absolute level - I created Jesus as well as this character and this world.
 

You barely differ from Christians, who take his teachings and superimpose them upon their own dualistic beliefs, and then it turns Jesus into someone who seems to be behaviour-oriented, instead of being concerned purely with the level of the mind.  
 

I wish you knew how much more advanced than you I am and how clearly I see how utterly confused and mistaken you are. But only wisdom recognises wisdom, and you lack it.  
 

Not that it matters, it’s all a joke anyway.

Edited 8 hours ago by CoolDreamThanks

[Salvijus]

1 hour ago, CoolDreamThanks said:

I understand them perfectly. Exactly as he intended them to be understood, since he’s always talking from a purely non-dual perspective, but that understanding is completly inacessible to you.  
 

When I say I am Jesus I am not joking. Not in the illusion, but from the absolute level - I created Jesus as well as this character and this world.
 

You barely differ from Christians, who take his teachings and superimpose them upon their own dualistic beliefs, and then it turns Jesus into someone who seems to be behaviour-oriented, instead of being concerned purely with the level of the mind.  
 

I wish you knew how much more advanced than you I am and how clearly I see how utterly confused and mistaken you are. But only wisdom recognises wisdom, and you lack it.  
 

Not that it matters, it’s all a joke anyway.

So what does it mean to love your brother as yourself from nondual point? Wouldn't such a perception have behavioral consequences? The way you speak and think of them etc. 

Edited 7 hours ago by Salvijus

[CoolDreamThanks]

6 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

So what does it mean to love your brother as yourself from nondual point? Wouldn't such a perception have behavioral consequences? The way you speak and think of them etc. 

Unfortunately, you are not capable of understanding such statements. I can't lead you to that level; you are just not there and are a long way behind. 

[Salvijus]

1 hour ago, CoolDreamThanks said:

Unfortunately, you are not capable of understanding such statements. I can't lead you to that level; you are just not there and are a long way behind. 

So you say the perception (brother versus enemy, sinful vs perfectly innocent) of others have no consequence to how you will treat them? 

[CoolDreamThanks]

2 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

So you say the perception (brother versus enemy, sinful vs perfectly innocent) of others have no consequence to how you will treat them? 

See, that's not even close to what I am talking about. You are in a completely different realm. 

[Salvijus]

1 hour ago, CoolDreamThanks said:

See, that's not even close to what I am talking about. You are in a completely different realm. 

Hm, was that a yes or a no? 

[Salvijus]

@CoolDreamThanks so I'm interested in your opinion on this. Does the perception of others have any consequence on how you behave towards them or no?