shadow work vs abiding awareness

[emil1234]

So just a couple of days ago, i discovered the power of integrating my subconscious aka shadow work. Literally the last couple of days has been so transformative for me, because i've become aware of how i actively and ongoingly surpress emotions and feelings.

The thing is this; I've been abiding in awareness the last year or so, which shadow work revealed to me, to be somewhat of a disassociation from thoughts, feelings and emotions.

whenever an emotion / feeling arises(it seems not only to be thoughts and feelings, but literally all sensations, including audiotory and visual), it seems i have two options; retreat to awareness and be somewhat at peace, let the emotion play itself out. OR abide IN the emotion, completely become the emotion and dissolve it into your being. becoming the emotion definetely feels the most right, but its also a form of clinging

I feel that integrating my subconscious, as an ongoing, live process, where i continuesly recognize and embrace how i truly feel every moment about whatever arises, is kind of a contrast to abiding as awareness. its more of a clinging than completely letting go and abiding as awareness.

So what I'm getting at, is that I'm not sure how to adminstrate the two, being shadow integration vs abiding as pure unpersonal awareness. shadow integration feels personal, awareness does not.

So in short; how to best and most effectively utilize the two perspectives or states? I feel myself kind of swapping between awareness and integration, not really sure when to apply the one over the other

 

Edited February 9 by emil1234

[gettoefl]

My ongoing process is as simple as it is profound. Whatever arises in awareness, I ask myself: Does this scenario represent love and truth, or fear and illusion? If it is loving, beneficial, and divine, I bask and glow and amplify it, sharing it in any way practical and reinforcing its reality. If on the other hand it is fearful, limiting, and damaging, I recognise the scenario as a misperception, a request to bring love rather than an excuse to wage battle. I can thereby forgive it - not by condoning or repressing it - but by seeing its purpose, letting it go, and allowing the suitable correction to take place in my mind. In this way, I allow myself to shift perception from one of unconsciousness to consciousness, from one of illusion to truth and from one of fear to love.

[emil1234]

@gettoefl i guess this stuff is different for everybody. tahts the thing, half the time you're not even sure you're doing it correctly  just gotta do what seems the most effective to you i guess

[gettoefl]

31 minutes ago, emil1234 said:

@gettoefl i guess this stuff is different for everybody. tahts the thing, half the time you're not even sure you're doing it correctly  just gotta do what seems the most effective to you i guess

I agree Emil1234. You method is great. You came a long way. These things need to be tweaked as time goes by. Keep refining it and deepening awareness.

[Breakingthewall]

For me, psychedelics have been very useful in the aspect you mention. It is essential that the subconscious stops being subconscious and is fully integrated, as long as this is not the case, you are emotionally crippled, and you will use mental strategies and lies to constantly deceive yourself.

[emil1234]

@Breakingthewall i literally only became aware of this like 4 days ago, and i can say that the last 4 days has been the most transformative since i started spiritual practice

[Breakingthewall]

1 hour ago, emil1234 said:

@Breakingthewall i literally only became aware of this like 4 days ago, and i can say that the last 4 days has been the most transformative since i started spiritual practice

Use to be a work that needs time, because the mind has the ability to hidden everything that can't handle. When you are a child there are many things that you cannot handle, all your parents' lies are transmitted to you, and all their fears, and the mind creates solid structures to integrate them and not collapse. 

There are layers and layers of this, hidden fears that cover other more hidden fears, until we reach the primordial fear of dying, genetically incoded.