I am starting to think that basic socialization is crucial for mental health

[Something Funny]

I just went bowling and then went to a bar with my co-workers. Nothing crazy, just spending time together and chatting about random things.

And I just feel like living now. It is like I am filled with natural motivation for life.

I was hesitant if I should go, I was actually regretting promising to go and wished that I could just spend some time at home as usual. But now I am super happy that I did.

I didn't even contribute to the conversation all that much (although I've contributed more then I usually do, and I think I did really well in general).

If someone reading this is struggling with depression and anxiety, I think this might be a super simple, almost magic pill solution to it. You don't need to become a pickup artist and turn it into some crazy self-improvement journey. I think that simply finding people to go out with once in a while, in a casual, friendly way, can be life changing.

 

 

[Emerald]

@Something Funny 100%

Connection and socializing are really important for mental health. And we can't truly actualize our potential without it.

[Someone here]

Absolutely true . But i think balance is key... I think it depends on what are your "needs" in your life at the moment are. Like if your life is surrounded by noisy toxic people that you are forced to deal with then your life will also be hell .and in this case your needs are to spend some quality time alone or to smoke cannabis . And if you are lonely and have zero social life for a long period of time you start fantasizing about raping people and your mind goes crazy ..the cure is socializing .yin and yang. Balanced. 

Edited 17 hours ago by Someone here

[Yimpa]

Thank you @Beans for helping me socialize more lately. I could not have done it without you.

[Something Funny]

@Emerald It's interesting how Leo was seemingly not affected by it that much. Considering how he was still able to study a lot, lose a ton of weight, and become a billionaire. All before he started his pickup journey.

Although I don't know all of his circumstances, obviously.

Looking back at it, it seems that my mental health and my ability to function properly has gone to shit right when I've lost all my friends. First when I moved cities, and then when I moved to a different country. And then it got even worse when I moved out from my family and started being completely alone. Even though I really disliked living with my parent's and it was my dream to finally leave them. 

I went from being one of the better students in my hometown school to not being able to study at all and having to quit university because of it.

And when I started leaving on my own I started having a lot of trouble eating healthy and keeping my apartment clean, even though I was always praised for both things as a kid, lol. 

[Something Funny]

3 hours ago, Yimpa said:

Thank you @Beans for helping me socialize more lately. I could not have done it without you.

Are you going out together?

[Michael569]

Absolutely, isolation is terrible for us and young people are losing important social skills these days.

We can talk about dating all day long but going out with bunch of people, having fun and chatting to different girls is actually how most people would have found a partner...at least in past generations. 

We all need to socialize more i think 

 

[Something Funny]

@Michael569 Any tips on how to do that consistently if you don't really have a stable social circle to do it with at the moment?

Aside from doing hardcore stuff like going to a bar or a club alone and cold approaching people to make friends.

[Sugarcoat]

Yea becuase your brain is literally wired for socialization. You get dopamine from good interactions with people you like. It might sound obvious what you and I say but sometimes seemingly obvious things can be deep new insights.

Whats crazy about socialization is that sometimes even the mere presence of another human being is enough to make you feel fulfilled of that need for socialization. Like how it is to live with family for me, we don’t even have to talk.

[Schizophonia]

2 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

Yea becuase your brain is literally wired for socialization. You get dopamine from good interactions with people you like. It might sound obvious what you and I say but sometimes seemingly obvious things can be deep new insights.

Whats crazy about socialization is that sometimes even the mere presence of another human being is enough to make you feel fulfilled of that need for socialization. Like how it is to live with family for me, we don’t even have to talk.

Yeah but you're not laughing, or you're just putting yourself in a particularly interesting frequency, while surfing on actualize. Well probably not.

[Schizophonia]

6 hours ago, Michael569 said:

Absolutely, isolation is terrible for us and young people are losing important social skills these days.

We can talk about dating all day long but going out with bunch of people, having fun and chatting to different girls is actually how most people would have found a partner...at least in past generations. 

We all need to socialize more i think 

 

I don't know, I see a lot of old people who are super socially handicapped.

The Internet also allows for socializing.

It's mostly the touch that we miss, the carnal proximity. Not only in the sexual sense lol but also on a friendly level.

[Sugarcoat]

7 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Yeah but you're not laughing, or you're just putting yourself in a particularly interesting frequency, while surfing on actualize. Well probably not.

I don’t understand what you mean or what it has to do with my response

[Nemo28]

2 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

Whats crazy about socialization is that sometimes even the mere presence of another human being is enough to make you feel fulfilled of that need for socialization. Like how it is to live with family for me, we don’t even have to talk.

Indeed. Tried to find happiness by disconnecting with every human being, didn't work. Suffering deep despair, as last resort went to church and cried, talked with the priest and it helped me to feel much better, also the church lady is checking one me from time to time, so that seems to be enough to make me feel like i'm part of the group.

Humans need other humans, to survive.

[Sugarcoat]

3 minutes ago, Nemo28 said:

Indeed. Tried to find happiness by disconnecting with every human being, didn't work. Suffering deep despair, as last resort went to church and cried, talked with the priest and it helped me to feel much better, also the church lady is checking one me from time to time, so that seems to be enough to make me feel like i'm part of the group.

Humans need other humans, to survive.

Yea

[Schizophonia]

15 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

I don’t understand what you mean or what it has to do with my response

You said you could be satisfied with barely speaking to your family.

[Sugarcoat]

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

You said you could be satisfied with barely speaking to your family.

Thats true, I dont speak much in general. 

[Emerald]

9 hours ago, Something Funny said:

@Emerald It's interesting how Leo was seemingly not affected by it that much. Considering how he was still able to study a lot, lose a ton of weight, and become a billionaire. All before he started his pickup journey.

Although I don't know all of his circumstances, obviously.

Looking back at it, it seems that my mental health and my ability to function properly has gone to shit right when I've lost all my friends. First when I moved cities, and then when I moved to a different country. And then it got even worse when I moved out from my family and started being completely alone. Even though I really disliked living with my parent's and it was my dream to finally leave them. 

I went from being one of the better students in my hometown school to not being able to study at all and having to quit university because of it.

And when I started leaving on my own I started having a lot of trouble eating healthy and keeping my apartment clean, even though I was always praised for both things as a kid, lol. 

I'm sure that Leo definitely isn't a billionaire... but certainly a single digit millionaire.

But he could have been socializing during that time, here and there... even if he wasn't putting a strong emphasis on it and was consciously thinking of himself as a loner.

Just like how he was talking about enjoying living a solitary life on his blog, while also having a very large audience and engaged forum to share his experiences with... and spending a lot of time on the forum socializing. 

But he may not consciously value socializing. So, he may be finding rationales for why this, that, or the other social experiences don't count as socializing.

Funny enough, the times where I thought of myself as a loner were actually the times when I had the most connection.

I was just introverted... but also surrounded by people that I know and existing within communal systems (like school and work) where I was frequently interacting with others. So, I could afford to have the belief because my solitude was an illusion.

When I was truly alone to where, if I went missing, no one would have known for weeks... that was when I stopped being able to tell myself that I'm a loner. I really felt what it was like to feel totally alone in the universe.

I suspect most people who identify as loners have not experienced solitude in the extreme.

[Schizophonia]

55 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Thats true, I dont speak much in general. 

You have a normal willingness to talk about what I can see from my side.

[Sugarcoat]

35 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

You have a normal willingness to talk about what I can see from my side.

You mean you think I talk decent amount from your experience? I can talk more but sometimes 

[Schizophonia]

25 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

You mean you think I talk decent amount from your experience? I can talk more but sometimes 

Yes.
Not a big deal.

Edited 1 hour ago by Schizophonia