Family vs Personal Growth

[freddyteisen]

When you go on this journey of personal growth, spirituality & life purpose building, there will be/is a lot of stuff that is difficult to explain to family & ‘friends’.

Although they don’t understand everything,

You can still love and be together with your  family, they might not understand your interest in pursuing God, psychedelics or spirituality. Or building an authentic life purpose. You might not even mention it because it’s too radical.

Should you just hold these deep topics to yourself and only share with people who resonate with deep topics LIKE the people in this community? And should you Not try to explain these topics to family members & open their mind,

But INSTEAD keep it for yourself and let them FEEL that you’re growing?

How do you reconcile personal growth and spiritual growth while having healthy relationship and communication with family? How do you communicate your want to grow?

Edited Wednesday at 09:32 PM by freddyteisen

[Schizophonia]

What does this mean? You enjoy your family normally and eventually you can talk about this topic with them. It's like with any topic.

[RendHeaven]

On 2/6/2025 at 6:31 AM, freddyteisen said:

Should you just hold these deep topics to yourself and only share with people who resonate with deep topics LIKE the people in this community? And should you Not try to explain these topics to family members & open their mind,

Don't be a nerd in front of people who aren't ready for it. Just vibe (yes, dumb yourself down)

DO be a nerd in front of people who ARE ready for it. Talk about your journey, your insights, share, intellectualize, etc.

Most people are in the former category, so if you're super social you may find yourself dumbing yourself down a lot.

Unfortunately this can lead to feelings of putting on a mask and not being yourself if deep down you'd rather just be a nerd around the clock

This leads to Leo's blogpost about solitude: https://www.actualized.org/insights/understanding-solitude

Figure out the right balance for yourself : )

[aurum]

On 2/5/2025 at 1:31 PM, freddyteisen said:

You can still love and be together with your  family, they might not understand your interest in pursuing God, psychedelics or spirituality. Or building an authentic life purpose. You might not even mention it because it’s too radical.

That's right.

That's one of the challenges of this work.

On 2/5/2025 at 1:31 PM, freddyteisen said:

Should you just hold these deep topics to yourself and only share with people who resonate with deep topics LIKE the people in this community? And should you Not try to explain these topics to family members & open their mind, 

But INSTEAD keep it for yourself and let them FEEL that you’re growing?

100% yes.

I recommend being highly selective about who and what insights you share, as well as when to share them.

They will probably notice some changes, but they won't be able to understand why. 

On 2/5/2025 at 1:31 PM, freddyteisen said:

How do you reconcile personal growth and spiritual growth while having healthy relationship and communication with family? How do you communicate your want to grow?

There's a lot I don't communicate.

Just do the work. You don't need your family to understand or approve of it. Be the captain of your life.

When you're with your family, you talk about more normal stuff they can relate to. Your career, your kids, mortgage, blah blah blah.

And yes that kind of shallow socializing can be really uninteresting. Often I struggle to stay engaged. But you're probably going to have to deal with these kind of people for the rest of your life. So get used to it.

You can sometimes frame things for them in more simplistic ways they will understand ( "I want to be a better person", "I want to explore my potential", "I'm maturing as a person") without going into excessive detail.

Also, make sure you make an effort to carve out solitude + deeper friendships where you can engage in deeper topics that feel more authentic. I have a handful of people I share some of my deeper thoughts, which helps a lot.

[freddyteisen]

Wow that was some very helpful answers. Makes a lot of sense. ‘Dumb it down’ tell them what they want to hear, without making it too complex.

My family “feel” I’m growing, but they don’t know why.

They don’t understand the work I’m putting in; understanding human behavior, bias, improving my emotional awareness,  life purpose building and all the other deep topics we love and care about on this forum.

It’s nice to have someone that “understands” you.

thanks

[Paradoxed]

Why do you need to share this sense of growing with others? Why communicate that you want to grow? To receive recognition? Support? You don't need this, especially from those who won't understand what you're doing. Trust your process and keep it pushing. Ask yourself why you feel the need to do this.

When I had my first few awakenings and aha moments, I tried to share them with friends and family. I learned my lesson. It's really just a waste of your energy. I realized it was my ego that needed to share, converse, feel less alone, reflect, help others "understand", etc. This sort of thinking was just a distraction. I also sometimes assumed other people would understand what I was talking about, and would try to talk with them about some topic, only for them to either not understand at all, or even sometimes get angry, judge me, etc.

Personal growth is, well, personal to you. Everyone is on their own path.

Edited Saturday at 10:42 PM by Paradoxed