Truth about every male if I'm not wrong.

[Rishabh R]

We assume that women don't love or like us but it's a lie. Both thoughts- I am loved by everyone and I am loved by no one are delusional lies. The truth as I have experienced by living more than 24 years is that some women do like us and will like us in the future. This isn't a wishful thinking but a ground reality which we all men need to face.

[Norbert Somogyi]

This is overly simplistic, but yeah. We will gravitate towards certain women and certain women will gravitate towards us (this does not always match up), depending on numerous factors such as culture, personality, upbringing environment and corresponding traumatic patterns. This can change over time, especially if you are successfully healing your traumas and self-actualizing. In such relationships your partner will be triggering the hell out of you without intention. Handle it well and you will develop as a person. 

In case you are secure, then more conscious factors come into play.

The thought of 'no one likes me' comes from trauma and feels like a self-sustaining and perpetuating reality which is hard to break out of. In this case the realization that some people like me is not a hard reality to face, but a sign of evolution and development. This situation is also interesting that we tend to spend so much time thinking about what others think of us, but essentially it signals that we are rather selfish and see ourselves as the center of the world. For some this realization can add oil to the fire, while for others this can be a free-ing recontextualization.

In case of the thought of 'everyone likes me' it seems to me to be either a facade to maintain control stemming from fear of lack of it, or if it's genuine it can be a disorder like psychopathy or narcissism. I'm not sure if the latter can be healed or cured, but yeah in case of the earlier it can be a painful grounding experience to realize.

Just my two cents.

[Rishabh R]

@Norbert Somogyi Thanks for the feedback.

[EternalForest]

My baseline measure of if someone likes me is if they'd be willing to do something simple with me outside of a forced social setting (ie. meet me for a cup of coffee). No woman I've met has even been willing to do that. So is it delusional to say that every woman doesn't like me if that's actually been the case in practice? It feels irrelevant to say "One million women somewhere in the world like you" if you don't have access to 99% of them. If every woman in your vicinity doesn't want you, it's gonna sting no matter what.

Edited Wednesday at 10:19 AM by EternalForest

[Rishabh R]

@EternalForest  I have felt that sting and moved on, also I have found some women do liked me. Even though they were few.

[Princess Arabia]

Your title alone says it all. Get over yourself. You can't because your life is only about you. That's the dilemma.

All the other millions of men getting married, fell in love or living with loving partners in relationships and having a family doesn't exist in your world. Totally invisible to you. Life's all about me, me, me.

What's up with this "us". Surely not speaking to the men with wives or sexing down the town and having women flock to them like birds or in relationships.

Edited Wednesday at 05:13 PM by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

10 hours ago, Rishabh R said:

. This isn't a wishful thinking but a ground reality which we all men need to face.

No, that you need to face. At least say "some" to tone it down a bit. All men is a bit delusional, don't ya think. 

[Princess Arabia]

8 hours ago, Norbert Somogyi said:

The thought of 'no one likes me' comes from trauma and feels like a self-sustaining and perpetuating reality which is hard to break out of.

Exactly. Like I've stated before, most posts like these are trauma based. Not only like these, either, but this one is an example of one.

[Rishabh R]

48 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

No, that you need to face.

 

Okay so by this you mean that only I have to face reality while not all other struggling males ? And also isn't it a reality that all men are loved regardless of the fact weather they have a partner or not ? I asked Claude Ai to rate this perspective out of 10 and it rated it 9/10.

[Princess Arabia]

3 minutes ago, Rishabh R said:

 

Okay so by this you mean that only I have to face reality while not all other struggling males ? And also isn't it a reality that all men are loved regardless of the fact weather they have a partner or not ? I asked Claude Ai to rate this perspective out of 10 and it rated it 9/10.

You didn't say in your post other struggling males. You said ALL MALES. DIDN'T YOU!!!

[Rishabh R]

@Princess Arabia Yup . I said it.

[Princess Arabia]

4 minutes ago, Rishabh R said:

@Princess Arabia Yup . I said it.

Shows you how no one exists but you in your world. The clues are everywhere. I won't argue with you. 

[Rishabh R]

@Princess Arabia 👍. I don't need to prove who exists in my world.

Thank you.

[Princess Arabia]

4 minutes ago, Rishabh R said:

@Princess Arabia 👍. I don't need to prove who exists in my world.

Thank you.

You're worried if women like you. Does that particular female like you. Do you like yourself. Why be so general about the whole thing. All it shows is trauma just like another comment suggested. This post reminds me of a phobia - an irrational fear. 

Edited Wednesday at 06:29 PM by Princess Arabia

[Rishabh R]

@Princess Arabia Whatever you may label it. But this is the conclusion I drew from doing a self-improvement worksheet based on CBT. I am not loved by anyone and nobody loves me are both extreme thinking. You don't know me, I don't know you and everyone. I was writing for helping others and sharing the conclusion I came to. 

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, Rishabh R said:

@Princess Arabia Whatever you may label it. But this is the conclusion I drew from doing a self-improvement worksheet based on CBT. I am not loved by anyone and nobody loves me are both extreme thinking. You don't know me, I don't know you and everyone. I was writing for helping others and sharing the conclusion I came to. 

I was responding to the ALL MEN part. Now, you're telling me off about how I don't know you and what limited worksheet you concocted up. Drawing conclusions about life leads to closed-mindedness and not much room for growth or for other perspectives.

[Rishabh R]

@Princess Arabia Okay but I in my response I told that I also don't know you and everyone present here in real life. Why your response feels blunt and hurting.I don't understand. As per the worksheet part it's easy to see limitations outside your worldview but not in your own.

Yup I agree that that worksheet is limited but the two extremes of beleifs -Nobody loves me and I am loved by everyone both are inaccurate.

Edited Wednesday at 06:42 PM by Rishabh R

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, Rishabh R said:

@Princess Arabia Okay but I in my response I told that I also don't know you and everyone present here in real life. Why your response feels blunt and hurting.I don't understand.

Trauma

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, Rishabh R said:

@Princess Arabia Okay but I in my response I told that I also don't know you and everyone present here in real life. Why your response feels blunt and hurting.I don't understand.

I'll be a bit more sensitive and try not to stir up any unwanted feelings. It's just I'm just responding to you and you're taking my responses personally and they are bringing up past images in you. You're very hurt and i need to understand that from what I know of you and your past posts. I'll be more sensitive from now on to this.

[Rishabh R]

2 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Trauma

@Princess Arabia  So you mean that anyone who disagree to you or is hurt by your response has a trauma. Other people commented too on the post but I wasn't hurt by their responses even though I disagree with them a bit.