Effective ways to develope social skills?

[ryanajay]

So to keep this simple after highschool i went straight into my self developement journey and this has led to long periods of me being by myself. Stayin inside and working, not talking to alot of people ect... to the point of if i am in a social situation my brain stops working and i never know what to say.

As a beginner can someone recommend some effctive ways to start socializing that aren't to crazy that i can get into? Because for a long while i figured that i would never be able to get better but then i realized that i was never really trying and i now understand how important socialization really is. I'm willing to do what ever it takes.

I want to be the type of person who can lead a converstion with a stranger vs someone thats afraid of talking to people. So if there's any tips on how to start plz lmk  cause i'm tired of this effecting my life.

So where do you think someone who's been isolated for 3-5 years and not socializing and afraid of talking to people should start?

Edited yesterday at 05:22 PM by ryanajay

[LifeEnjoyer]

10 minutes ago, ryanajay said:

So to keep this simple after highschool i went straight into my self developement journey and this has led to long periods of me being by myself. Stayin inside and working, not talking to alot of people ect... to the point of if i am in a social situation my brain stops working and i never know what to say.

As a beginner can someone recommend some effctive ways to start socializing that aren't to crazy that i can get into? Because for a long while i figured that i would never be able to get better but then i realized that i was never really trying and i now understand how important socialization really is. I'm willing to do what ever it takes.

I want to be the type of person who can lead a converstion with a stranger vs someone thats afraid of talking to people. So if there's any tips on how to start plz lmk  cause i'm tired of this effecting my life.

So where do you think someone who's been isolated for 3-5 years and not socializing and afraid of talking to people should start?

 

574981302-Connor-Murphy-Overcome-Social-Anxiety-And-Loneliness-With-V-E-M.pdf

[ryanajay]

4 minutes ago, LifeEnjoyer said:

 

574981302-Connor-Murphy-Overcome-Social-Anxiety-And-Loneliness-With-V-E-M.pdf

Thank you will check it out!!!

[LambdaDelta]

If you're as bad as I was, you don't even have to start in-person. Call businesses and such, ask about whatever - opening hours, pricing, stock, how to get there... That's a bit less taxing, you can always hang up and go to the next, going through dozens of calls in a day.
Say hello to bus drivers, make some small talk with cashiers, at the bank, etc.
Then approach random strangers on the street, nothing emotionally charged yet, just asking directions or something. 
After you get very comfortable in that (it's like a snowball effect, starts slow and then one day you suddenly break through to zero anxiety), maybe join a club/group of some hobby, like chess or hiking, there you can get to know people and already have some common ground, from which you can move on to talking about other things. 
Speak up at family gatherings, in class, whatever situation you're in. 
Lastly if you care to take it further, do pickup or talk up people out of the blue. But just doing all of the above en masse for 7-8 years has taken me from crippling social anxiety to being able to talk to anyone with complete confidence. Can be done much faster too, depends on your current level and the time you can commit.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DzVGXzfvkM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFcJJHsaiFU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGYy_QKRS4c

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-get-started-when-you-re-socially-hopeless  

https://www.girlschase.com/article/social-life/social-skills-101-approaching-unfamiliar-people

Edited yesterday at 06:11 PM by Raze

[Jacob Morres]

@LambdaDelta yeah and adding onto this i found that using mindfulness and cbt techniques very valuable. they help ease the mind in social situations. i've also noticed though that there are many modalities that can help, so doesn't necessarily need to be mindfulness/cbt

on top of this also i noticed that self-esteem work can be important too, as sometimes we may have some negative inner beliefs that affect our social competence. so those definitely need to be challenged and replaced. having good self-esteem can actually aid in your comfort in social situations 

also consider the ethics and "goodness" aspect of socializing. like having integrity, being good, having EQ and empathy. 

social skills is actually a huge topic. i find it very interesting how large it is 

 

Edited 23 hours ago by Jacob Morres

[1337]

2 hours ago, LifeEnjoyer said:

 

574981302-Connor-Murphy-Overcome-Social-Anxiety-And-Loneliness-With-V-E-M.pdf

@LifeEnjoyer

This pdf was really helpful. Thank you