How can i effectively deal wth comparison?

[ryanajay]

As a 23 year old male this is something that i heavily struggle with and on my self improvement journey i can't seem to let go of it. This is because mainly social media shows us people achieving lots of success at really young ages and it makes me feel like i'm behind in life like crazy even tho i come from a very underprivelliged background. I try to focus on my self however i notice that my mind keeps telling me that everyone already has everything that i want and doing all of the things that i want to do like : Travelling, Dating, New Cars ect... which are things that i am unable to do at the moment. I know this probably sound stupid but i feel like if i can figure out how to deal with this effectively then it can lead to a better quality life. The thing is i have already made some slight advances in my own carreer like an online buisiness that i started made about $1000 in about a month but there's still LOADS of work to be done.

So if anyone has any idea of effective ways to deal with comparing myself to others and feeling behind i'd love to hear them and maybe i can manage this problem or even put an end to it because it fees lik everytime i do something i am proud of i remember that i seen someone my age or younger on instagram that has WAYY more than i do and it makes my achievement feel pretty much worthless.

This problem i feel is rly holding me back and Leo i don't know if you ever had to deal with it but if you did what methods did you use to help?

[Princess Arabia]

IMO, there's nothing to really actively do, just see yourself doing it over and over and over again and notice it serves no purpose other than making you feel how you're feeling right now until you get sick of it and it just stops. Sometimes certain things are better dealt with in this way, and I believe this is one of them. I call it burning it through the fire. Letting it play out.

Right now, it's probably bothering you because you're doing it excessively, but give it time and it will diminish. I don't think it will totally stop but when it gets to a point where you see yourself doing it without a reaction or you start to see how it's just a part of human nature, it won't affect you as much and won't be as intense. 

Sometimes it's because we make things into a big deal why they seem such a bother and a problem and if left alone to just burn through on it's own the problem goes away. Probably will still be there but not a problem anymore and just witnessed and laughed at or seen as a pointless thing to do.

I try to tell people that sometimes it's the mere fact of trying to 'let go' of something that keeps it hanging around longer, but they sometimes don't get this notion and here we go again with someone trying to actively let go of something without success. We have to start looking at how the mind works and trying to let go of something implies that there's something there that needs to be rid of. Why is it there to begin with, because you have acknowledged it's presence, given it life, created meaning for it, gave it a story. It's not about ignoring either because ignoring is also acknowledging it's presence. See it, be aware of it and allow it to dissolve on it's own without trying to do anything. Place your attention elsewhere in these moments and stop judging yourself for comparing yourself to others. If and when it happens just see it as what's happening without putting a storyline behind it. 

Edited February 1 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

Another way to deal with this is to see everybody as you and that they are just a part of you accomplishing something else that you're not and that everybody is you and it's actually you doing those things through another body. Not sure if this will work for you but you can try to change your perspective on it and maybe it won't bother you as much.

[ryoko]

Comparison is fine. But introduce as many parameters as you can. It becomes a lot of mental work to keep it up. The goal is to compare until you exhaust the imbalance. If you're using Instagram to compare, spend atleast 3 minutes on every post, with intense attention. And don't make assumptions, only heed to things you know about them, actually know. So, why are you worrying your mind about things you don't know? Do you even know they exist? for sure?

It takes some awakening to know everyone and everything is one and equal. Nobody is higher than you, nobody is lower than you.

 

Edited February 1 by ryoko

[Hojo]

You have to come to the hard truth that what the internet has been showing you about money and working is a lie. I foresaw this problem coming where kids will have spent their entire lives watching youtube videos of people making millions of dollars and throwing it away randomly as if its nothing. Then coming into the real world and doing hard labour for what seems like pocket change in comparison. Its not real and was specifically created nefariously to make you not want to work and hate working because you feel like you are being scammed. Believing the shit you see on the internet is the scam.

No one is like this,you will watch liars and thieves pretend to be rich and believe them. They are all doing it via devilry. if you can develop the skill to turn off your mind and work and keep your mind in the present moment you will be miles ahead of most people. The money dosent matter its your mind that matters.

Edited February 1 by Hojo