Leo's Hot Take on Socializing: Missing the Point Entirely

[digitalkaine]

On 1/29/2025 at 9:10 PM, Shodburrito said:

@integral

If socializing feels like "acting" and following a "long list of arbitrary rules," that's not a sign of spiritual awakening - it's more likely a sign of difficulty with authentic human connection. Reducing all social interaction to "ego games" and "arbitrary rules" is an incredibly reductionistic view that misses the vast spectrum of genuine human interactions that happen every day. Real conversations between close friends, intimate moments with family, spontaneous connections with strangers - these aren't performances, they're authentic expressions of our shared humanity.

Seeing every social interaction as a performance you have to "design a better ruleset" for suggests something deeper might be going on. When someone perceives all social interaction as artificial or performative, that's often a sign of social anxiety, attachment issues, or other challenges with emotional connection - not some elevated state of consciousness. Real authenticity isn't about deconstructing every social interaction into some mechanical game. It's about being present and genuine with others, something that happens naturally when we're comfortable with ourselves and our connections.

Maybe if socializing always feels like acting, the issue isn't with socializing - it's with your relationship to it. Instead of trying to create new "rulesets" for human interaction, it might be worth exploring why genuine connection feels so unnatural in the first place.

Not going to lie, this post alone is the reason I do not personally enjoy socializing. You're literally playing the ego games leo is referring to. Like sure you got the right to say things like "Instead of trying to create new "rulesets" for human interaction, it might be worth exploring why genuine connection feels so unnatural in the first place." As if you really know whats best for someone else based on your own experience, however if you were to tell me that I would just not talk to you. Whether you are right or wrong its not worth the energy going back and forth with someone about what they think is best for you without knowing anything about you. 

Theres nothing inherently even wrong with trying to create new "rulesets" for human interaction things just continue to evolve the way they do. Its not going to be the end of the world if the way human interaction changes. 

"Real authenticity isn't about deconstructing every social interaction into some mechanical game. It's about being present and genuine with others, something that happens naturally when we're comfortable with ourselves and our connections." I would agree with this but you got to realize most of the people out there are not present and genuine with themselves. Those types of people are few and far between and its not anyones job to bring people to a present state with your authenticity. And its not your job to be authentic just to connect with other people. That shit will just happen on its own.

I'm introverted as fuck but I go out of my way to socialize and to be completely honest no matter how good the experience is its usually never as good as how I feel when I'm alone. I dont really have an issue with connecting with people or expressing myself either but again people want to play ego games most of the time and honestly my ego wants to do the same and what does anyone get out of that really? 

It seems like you and others get off on this type of behaviour and brother I am not going to stroke you off. 

 

[TruthFreedom]

Hey guys, I've still got the biggest dick.

[koops]

This resonates hard: The shallower the mind the more value socialization has. The deeper the mind, the less meaning socialization has because your own mind is more rewarding and profound than anything a human could say to you. What are you really going to talk about with a human?

But at the end of the day is about give and take. Balancing.

Going deep in solitude and spiritual practices, and then let go, relax, chill, small talk. Mixing with people.

I feel that when I do that, I create space for more spiritual and philosophical work. If not I reach a point where is just to much isolation and I feel my mind is melting.

 

We also have to define solitude.

Solitude is more a matter of the mind than of body.

You can go for a 5 day hike listening to music and reading some books. Thats not real solitude.

Many people say: 'i spent the weekend alone / by myself.

mmm false.

You can be physically alone, but not mentally alone.

This person spent his weekend at home, but he listened to music, texted friends and family, facecalled his gf, whatched 6 episodes of a show, watched porn and spend hours on social media.

Thats not being alone.

Being alone is being free of input of other peoples mind.

 

Leo loves solitude? Im sure about it.

But how would he feel if he quits the forum for a year?

The forum is a form of escaping solitude without real socializing. (pseudo-socializing)

 

 

 

Edited Monday at 10:18 PM by koops

[koops]

On 31/1/2025 at 10:12 AM, TheEnigma said:

This video is one of your gems. So it was at 27:11 you said that. It actually took me a few years of experiencing and thinking, to really feel what you were saying. I am an extrovert, but then I realized when I connected with so many people, I really didn't connect with anyone and still had to face a lot of my challenges alone. But then an introvert can also go out and socialize, and seem very extroverted too. But also still feel they have to face their challenges alone. I spoke with my brother about this and he is an comp sci AI vision nerd, extremely introverted. And he once mentioned "Because I think in the end of the day extrovert or introvert, we all want the same things. But never cut at introvert off when they are speaking, because they already don't want to talk, so you will discourage them when you cut them off. With an extrovert, an introvert almost has to learn to cut them off. But when talking to an introvert, expect them to think, because they all also expect you to think. It's like playing chess in classical time control. Talking to an extrovert is like playing bullet. it's a different style. Think of an introvert as a foam that is pressed inwards when interacting, the foam will eventually come back up when they recharge alone. Where as for an extrovert, the foam is already pushed outward, so when they interact, they get pushed down too, but it's already facing outwards."

Here is the thing.

He said that a 10 day solo retreat will cure your lonleliness.

Not true.
And this is the problem. The problem with isolation is that is quite easy doing it for short periods of time. Or doing it knowing you have people that love you, and when you finish your period of solitude, you will be back with your loved ones.

There are periods when we want to be alone, we enjoy it and we hate to think about having to socialize.

But sooner or later is going to hit you. Most people need connection. Even if its with just a couple people in your life.