Self Harm

[SFRL]

31 minutes ago, Ryan_047 said:

@SFRL Please don't take this personal,but you are frustrating me.

I don't have any fucking clue of what I am supposed to do.I have falled of track A FUCKING LOT of times and got back up..but I am spinning in a circle,nothing gets better....so please don't tell me that I am constructing some sort of defense mechanism -_-.I can list many things I have fucking tried over the years..Yes,fucking years.But guess what..it either didn't work or I couldn't go on..the only habit that I managed to install is meditation..helped,but not that much.Things are getting worser by fucking day and the only thing that is awaiting me in the future is only pain..more pain.And btw I wanted to start doing some kind of sport,but my parents are labaling sport as waste of time..and they would let me practice only in summer(and fuck yes,I am going to the gym this summer)..try talking to my parents?Hell no!!!!!I can also list many reasons why not to do that..

I am becoming more and more depressed by day..I used to be an extremely good student,now I am an average one and slowly becoming below average...the relationship with my parents is becoming more and more cordial because of that,I am losing trust in myself,I develop social anxiety..yeah,I am pretty fucked up....AND DONT TELL ME THAT ALL OF THIS IS HAPPENING BECAUSE OF MY BRAIN'S DEVELOPMENT..hell fucking no...if that would have been true,than explain why the actual shit the other teenagers are well and develop themselves....One thing that I absolutely hate on this forum is that people (some)are VERY ABSTRACT and might have no idea what they are taking about..once I asked if meditation could cure for past trauma.. somebody literally said:Maybe,maybe not...-_-.I know what lead me to my depression,so don't tell me that depression is because of my brain..

Sorry for what I wrote above..I am really frustrated and I have suicidal thoughts..again:).As you may know,this is not a reaction to you.

Sounds a lot like my situation as a teenager. 

What you should do is finish highschool and then leave the house. Either go to college or get a job and live by yourself. 

Also they can block you from doing sports. But you can go jogging, do push-ups, do sit-ups, and pick up a barbell in your room. 

Main thing is duck it up finish highschool and get out of the house. 

[Ryan_047]

@SFRL ....Why?I would just feel more despair and 100% I would end up killing myself.And..the situation in my country is not as pink and beautiful like in the US.It is VERY hard for an adult to live by himself and cover the taxes,buy food etc..an adult with an average job..not to mention that even for a student who has finished college is hard to find a job,and then here I come..a stupid teenager..very weak chanches..I tried to learn to create websites and I did..to certain degree..but then I felt so desperate and tired that I couldn't learn further..

[SFRL]

1 hour ago, Ryan_047 said:

@SFRL ....Why?I would just feel more despair and 100% I would end up killing myself.And..the situation in my country is not as pink and beautiful like in the US.It is VERY hard for an adult to live by himself and cover the taxes,buy food etc..an adult with an average job..not to mention that even for a student who has finished college is hard to find a job,and then here I come..a stupid teenager..very weak chanches..I tried to learn to create websites and I did..to certain degree..but then I felt so desperate and tired that I couldn't learn further..

Why? Why not? What's your alternative? 

Romania is part of the EU. You can become US citizen by joining the US military. There are options. 

Maybe your parents let you study abroad. And find yourself an American girlfriend to mary. 

In the end it's up to you. At some point happiness is a choice and a matter of your attitude towards life. 

Edited May 9, 2017 by SFRL

[eskwire]

10 hours ago, Loreena said:

You're right. Thank You so much. I always took meditation for granted. Now I need to take it seriously. Thank you so much. Your wisdom is so  powerful. It helps a lot. Thank you.

You're very welcome. 

[Ryan_047]

@SFRL My alternative is to go to college, study get a job and then I'll see.I am more light headed today,sorry again for what I have written.

[SFRL]

15 hours ago, SFRL said:

 

 

15 minutes ago, Ryan_047 said:

@SFRL My alternative is to go to college, study get a job and then I'll see.I am more light headed today,sorry again for what I have written.

It's all good. Just finish up highschool and do your push ups. 

Life after highschool is a lot more fun. 

[Ryan_047]

@SFRL Is it?How it is that?I thought that I will just go to work get back home sleep and the cycle continues.

[SFRL]

20 minutes ago, Ryan_047 said:

@SFRL Is it?How it is that?I thought that I will just go to work get back home sleep and the cycle continues.

No man. Well....That's how it is for a lot of people. But that's not what self-actualization is about. Meditation itself is not self-actualization. Meditation is something you do to help you self-actualize. 

You should try to make money with something that you like. And also try to find a job where you have a good balance between making money and time off. 

If you work in the travel industry that can be good. Working on airplanes, or ships. Because you will travel a lot and get to see stuff. And you will be gone from home for periods of time. But you also get longer stretches of time off that you can fill in yourself. 

Or starting your own business gives you more freedom as well. 

I would not want to work 9 to 5 five days a week. Or 8 to 8 for that matter. 

 

Edited May 10, 2017 by SFRL