Do you pay for the first date?

[AION]

Should a guy always pay or the girl? I pay depending on the girl's nationality and culture. I like eastern european girls and if you don't pay it is a huge insult so I do pay with them but I don't pay with western women because they are feminist so I treat them as equals. If you date eastern european girl they are very feminine and just want to be lead. I really like that so I pay until I get in her pants and afterwards get her to pay some of the dates too. As a guy you have to be strategic about it. Don't get yourself played guys.

[Princess Arabia]

2 hours ago, AION said:

I really like that so I pay until I get in her pants and afterwards get her to pay some of the dates too.

You are already playing yourself, if you have to manipulate your way into having sex. I'm not saying you should be any different or do anything differently, but you saying "don't get yourself played", is useless in this case because you have already played yourself out by paying for someone's meal or whatever just to get laid then stopping all because you've already gotten into their pants. 

Now you have set yourself up to always having to do something you don't want to do just to get laid. You have made yourself into a sex slave, meaning, you will always feel the need to be a particular way just to get sex and then not needing to be that way anymore after sex. That's confinement, that's sex controlling you. There's no way out of the games. The games are being played by you for you and affects only you.

[Leo Gura]

The key is to handle the situation so it doesn't feel awkward. That can be done various ways and depends on context.

If you set up cheap dates like coffee or ice cream then it's easy to pay. Do not set up fancy expensive 3 course dinner dates.

Edited January 28 by Leo Gura

[Princess Arabia]

I never pay for dates I'm asked to go on. EVER. You ask, you pay. That said, if I ever was to ask a guy out, then I'd pay for the date. Problem is, I never ask guys out. 

Funny thing though, the other day I felt like going out to eat breakfast and a male friend called, or I called, can't remember and we were chit chatting and I asked if he wanted to go out for breakfast and he jokingly said "what am I your man or something", and I laughed and said "no, I just feel like company to go eat breakfast, I'll pay". After the casual conversation was over, he said ok get dressed and I'll pick you up in an hr. We ate and the bill came and he took the bill and paid for everything including the tip. I even asked what do I owe you and he said nothing, do you really think I'd let you pay, that's what a man does he says. He even said he'd go out with his friends and pick up the whole tab sometimes. 

Bottomline, all depends on the guy and his personality. There are no rules to this, only the ones you set for yourself. 

Edited January 28 by Princess Arabia

[AION]

17 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

You are already playing yourself, if you have to manipulate your way into having sex. I'm not saying you should be any different or do anything differently, but you saying "don't get yourself played", is useless in this case because you have already played yourself out by paying for someone's meal or whatever just to get laid then stopping all because you've already gotten into their pants. 

Now you have set yourself up to always having to do something you don't want to do just to get laid. You have made yourself into a sex slave, meaning, you will always feel the need to be a particular way just to get sex and then not needing to be that way anymore after sex. That's confinement, that's sex controlling you. There's no way out of the games. The games are being played by you for you and affects only you.

I wouldn't call it manipulation. It is negotiation which happens in every relationship.

 

11 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

The key is to handle the situation so it doesn't feel awkward. That can be done various ways and depends on context.

If you set up cheap dates like coffee or ice cream then it's easy to pay. Do not set up fancy expensive 3 course dinner dates.

Yea, I'm going for some drinks and playing game of billiards/pool

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, AION said:

I wouldn't call it manipulation. It is negotiation which happens in every relationship.

Ok, I understand that. Still the getting into pants then stopping something afterwards is just you negotiating with yourself. Plenty of people out here are paying for meals  whether sex is involved or not and plenty are getting laid with or without paying. Do it's all you negotiating with yourself whether you get that or not. I bet you can still get laid without doing anything extra and you can still not get laid after doing it all. Nothing wrong with any of that just saying it's all self-negotiations. 

[AION]

@Princess Arabia nah try being a guy for a day and you would understand. Men need to be better negotiators.  A lot of western women  who don’t get turned off if you play open card but with a lot you need to play the game to even make a chance.  

[Michael569]

2 hours ago, AION said:

I like eastern european girls and if you don't pay it is a huge insult

You've probably seen too many reels with these dumb Slavic girls living in California expecting men to pay for everything . I come from Eastern Europe and this is by no means a rule. Like you said, its case dependant. Some girls want to split while others would never dream of even pulling up their wallet. 

But yeah, I'd expect that if its the first date and you're both having a good time , offering to pay up the bill, unless the cost is unreasonably high (a red flag if its the first date) then nothing wrong with footing the first bill 

Gotta read the situation and her non verbal cues as well. The older and more mature she is the more likely that she'll be okay with splitting (but even that's not a rule) 

[Something Funny]

@Michael569 yeah, this is such a stereotype, lol.

There are just as many woke feminist girls (using his language) in Poland as in the Western Europe or America.

 

Edited January 28 by Something Funny

[Michael569]

3 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

There are just as many woke feminist girls

Fair points, its been 14 years since I removed myself from the dating market so I appreciate the world might have changed somewhat. Still, what you describe sounds like a pretty undesirable type of a woman ...maybe I'm old fashioned  

[Something Funny]

@Michael569 what do you think I described?

[AION]

It depends on what your goal is. Do you want to date for a relationship or just for sex? If it is just sex you don’t want to rock the boat  

If it is just sex that I want I always test them on toxic feminist traits. If they are very easily triggered by certain remarks… You know what you are dealing with 

These girls are usually very superficial and acting authentic with these kind of girls can actually backfire because they are not use to dating good guys. They want a different type of guy. 

[Something Funny]

3 minutes ago, AION said:

toxic feminist traits

How convenient for you.

4 minutes ago, AION said:

These girls are usually very superficial and acting authentic with these kind of girls can actually backfire because they are not use to dating good guys.

Zero self awareness.

[AION]

@Something Funny excuse me?

[Something Funny]

@AION you are excused.

[something_else]

16 minutes ago, AION said:

These girls are usually very superficial and acting authentic with these kind of girls can actually backfire because they are not use to dating good guys. They want a different type of guy.

'Acting authentic' is an oxymoron. Generally speaking the most authentic guys do pretty well. But it's a kind of "I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks" authenticity. That's actual authenticity.

Also you're massively stereotyping here and vaguely hinting at the fact that you think you're a 'good guy' which is funny given the rest of your posts, lol.

 

[AION]

@something_else who says I said I’m a good guy? 😅

6 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

@AION you are excused.

This was actually witty. Keep working and one day you will actually live up to your username. 

[Princess Arabia]

52 minutes ago, AION said:

try being a guy for a day and you would understand.

These lines don't work with me in these instances unless were talking about male biology and body parts. I don't know what it's like to have a penis or hair on the chest or a deep voice etcetc. What we're speaking of here is basic human psychology and behavior - male or female. One on the receiving end and one on the giving end. Can't experience one without the other. In other words, the guy is not experiencing these things on his own and the female has very much a say in all this because can't have one without the other. I can tell you what may work or not and you can do the same but not because I'm a female or you're a male but because both are interacting with each other. 

I don't care about your "you're not a guy" statements here so you wouldn't understand, yes I do understand I dont need special skills or gender understanding to understand that some men feel the need to have to weasel their way into a woman's pants, just as you don't need to be a woman to understand how some women feel the need to have to weasel their way into a man's pocket, you will understand that and i don't have to say to you you're not a woman so you wouldn't understand. I'll only say that if we're talking about breasts/periods/pregnancy etcrtc,

Edited January 28 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

55 minutes ago, AION said:

 A lot of western women  who don’t get turned off if you play open card but with a lot you need to play the game to even make a chance.  

You have been brainwashed into thinking and believing this so now you're stuck playing some dumb stupid game that all will do is tire you out and have you being resentful towards women. Which is already being played out by you, according to your post. If you weren't feeling resentment already you wouldn't feel the need to pay until you get into her pants then have her start paying. Those things would just happen automatically and wouldn't become a negotiating tactic. You listened to too many pill ideologies and it's obvious you're going off of what you heard. You're only experiencing it because of your belief system. 

[Sugarcoat]

If she gets upset if you don’t pay in general it suggests she has been brainwashed by her culture which will manifest itself in other ways too in her way of thinking in general just a thought . It’s hive mind. If you ask out I think in those instances one should pay then other instances you pay if you want to. Maybe you want to live by those male, female roles each one to their own. 
 

 

 

Edited January 28 by Sugarcoat