DMT Fumarate trip report 125mg

[woohoo123]

Hi,

Context

This will be my 8th trip on DMT Fumarate (oral administration with MAOI). I've not tripped in over a year, so I had really bad pre-trip anxiety. I thought if I read some trip reports from the forum it would help, but it just made it worse because people share all their bad experiences. I saw someone say something like 'I saw all the worse/horrific faces you could imagine' and that line got stuck in my head I was like ... why did you have to say that fuck sake... 

Anyway, in the build up to it I did a lot of contemplation on why I wanted to trip again. From my previous trips, I came to recognize I didn't actually care too much about the metaphysical stuff. I cared more about experiencing practical emotional shifts that can help me through my daily experience of life. How to better handle my jealousy, loneliness, depression, dealing with feelings of loss for things I desire but know I can never have, all that kind of stuff.

For me the metaphysical stuff is like icing on the cake. I know people will disapprove, but part of me feels like I've seen enough. I didn't feel the need to go further into that direction. I wanted to be more practical like how do I feel and react and live my life on a daily basis?

So I was really questioning if I should even continue tripping at all - because in some sense I already felt like I got what I needed from these experiences. I'm at a point now where I feel tripping is nice but I don't 'need' them as much as I felt I use to. I'm fine going without. 

In the end I still went ahead as its very rare I have the entire day and house to myself. I picked a low dose (125mg DMT Fumarate which is ~77mg DMT) with 3g Syrian Rue seeds and the trip lasted around 2 hours.  

Even though I had done this dose previously, pre-trip I was still scared as fuck. I talked myself out of it many times in the days prior. In the end there was nothing to fear, the experience was quite light and not intensive or taxing at all. 

Pre Trip

To calm myself I kept looping this song repeatedly (from the 3 min mark) and the music  heavily impacted the course of the trip. Especially the words towards the end 

God put a rainbow, in the clouds....
And I've had so many rainbows in my clouds....
I had a lot of clouds, but I have had so many rainbows....
So many rainbows......

Trip Report

Being
The ground of reality.
It is pure existence, all dimensions at once. Formless. Property less. All encompassing.
It can be fluid, but it can also be fixed and be rigid. Like it can be as rigid as a brick wall or the laws of physical reality. 
One does not know being through intellect, one knows through being 'it' itself.
Being is circular. There is nothing to point to or from, but being itself. 

What happens after I die?
You cannot die, you are every dimension 
There is literally nowhere to go 
Nowhere else you can go, except back to yourself 
So do not fear little one…..
Before death all that existed was you
After death all that will exist is you

Solipsism
The entirety of existence is never separate from you… it was always right here all along…
What you are experiencing right now is the entirety of reality, everything else and all ‘outside’ is created from right here, you are never separate from it.
Entire reality and eternity is all here right now, nowhere else
This bubble of perception is all that truly exists
‘Inside and outside’ this bubble all exist within this bubble
You have always known it that you were always alone….. it has only ever been you… there is no one else
'You are god' means right here, you are all that exists, because you are it.

Pain and acceptance
Look there is no easy answer or solution 
I’m sorry to say that pain is a part of life
I can try to soothe it, but at some point you just got to accept it.
Everything is found here, you see that’s how it has to be. 
You can’t escape pain, it’s a part of life, a part of reality.
Life is bittersweet, like Leo said. It can be no other way.
So accept your loss… accept your pain because what else can I do?
Yes, it don’t feel good and I won’t deny that, but there is no other way. This is the way things are.
Accept it as part of your life and experience.
It’s not easy, I know it’s a tough lesson, but it must be learned. Not everything is going to feel soft. 

Reflection

It was a nice trip very pleasant. I'm not sure about the solipsism part, that bit is kinda new to me. I know its quite controversial on this forum. At the end of the day though, it's validity doesn't bother me too much. Maybe there is more to it I have not touched on yet. It was more of a fun question I put in there because I was tripping anyway so though heh why not, lets see what comes out.

The acceptance part was a nice shift for me. In previous trips it had showed me how to let go emotionally but from a position of strength. As in it showed me the strength in being able to let go of something and being free. This time, it was more focused on acceptance of suffering as a part of how life is.

In previous trips, my ego had a tendency to ask things like 'Why me? Why did this happen? Why would God put himself through this?' and looking for an intellectual answer to soothe the emotional pain. But I'm reaching a point now where I'm starting to realize there is no good answer. The answer you're looking for to soothe this kind of stuff is a bit of a fairytale, its something your ego wants but it doesn't exist. 

It's not what your ego wants to hear, but that's reality. That's how reality is. But now coming face to face with that... Accepting pain as part of reality does not make me feel 'down' like it used to. Because people on the forum would write similar things, and whenever I read it was like 'oh shame...' but secretly I was still hoping I would find some kind of purpose or meaning somewhere. I'm coming to the point now where I am more ok like... this is God... this is reality... its the way it is and the way it has to be.

It feels like a cleaner acceptance of things the way they are... I will continue working on this.

Thanks for reading!

[Schizophonia]

I don't even know it existed ?

 

Can you snort it ? 

Edited Saturday at 10:14 PM by Schizophonia

[woohoo123]

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

I don't even know it existed ?

 

Can you snort it ? 

hmm I haven't tried snorting it, but not sure why you'd want to. It's a salt form of DMT which can be stored for a long time. It is also a good way to take DMT orally, but you need to take it with a MAOI for it to be effective else your body just metabolises it and you won't get any effects. There are dietary restrictions for a few hours after taking a MAOI though, so make sure to research it if you try. 

[James123]

9 hours ago, woohoo123 said:

The ground of reality.
It is pure existence, all dimensions at once. Formless. Property less. All encompassing.
It can be fluid, but it can also be fixed and be rigid. Like it can be as rigid as a brick wall or the laws of physical reality. 
One does not know being through intellect, one knows through being 'it' itself.
Being is circular. There is nothing to point to or from, but being itself

Definitely, however, the most important part is experiencer, seeker or absolver is an illusion in the first place.

9 hours ago, woohoo123 said:

What happens after I die?
You cannot die, you are every dimension 
There is literally nowhere to go 
Nowhere else you can go, except back to yourself 
So do not fear little one…..
Before death all that existed was you
After death all that will exist is you

Firstly, birth is just a concept. Therefore, dead is the silence of  inevitablty. 

Good, nice topic and experience, congratulations. You are getting closer. 

[Schizophonia]

8 hours ago, woohoo123 said:

hmm I haven't tried snorting it, but not sure why you'd want to. It's a salt form of DMT which can be stored for a long time. It is also a good way to take DMT orally, but you need to take it with a MAOI for it to be effective else your body just metabolises it and you won't get any effects. There are dietary restrictions for a few hours after taking a MAOI though, so make sure to research it if you try. 

The salty forms are suitable for snorting, and you don't need an MAOI it's like smoking it. What would worry me is the taste.

Edited Sunday at 08:37 AM by Schizophonia

[woohoo123]

6 hours ago, James123 said:

Definitely, however, the most important part is experiencer, seeker or absolver is an illusion in the first place.

 

Yep I forgot to add this in the report, but in this experience I did touch on something similar before I went into being.

I was considering the possibility - isn't this just chemicals in my brain? Perhaps I have been brainwashed by Leo after following actualized.org for years and now maybe because my brain is in an altered state... its indulging in all its fantasies. Why am I not seeing Jesus right now? How can I really know this experience isn't me getting lost in things I want to believe?

Then I realized the very question 'is this a belief?' is itself a construct, with many assumptions behind it. It's a story in itself. The key is not to get wrapped up in the story, but to become aware of the one who is observing. To turn awareness back around and look at who/what is observing. Who is the one looking for answers? That is not belief, that is awareness. To become self aware is to become conscious of God.

11 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

The salty forms are suitable for snorting, and you don't need an MAOI it's like smoking it. What would worry me is the taste.

ah ok. But still not sure why one would want to snort, maybe its just me but doesn't sound like a very pleasurable route of administration. If you take it orally and put into capsules the DMT is tasteless. The only downside is the taste of the MAOI tea, but you can mix some apple juice in it and boil it down so its like a mouthful at most. Not so bad if you're not tripping super regularly.

[Schizophonia]

24 minutes ago, woohoo123 said:

 

ah ok. But still not sure why one would want to snort, maybe its just me but doesn't sound like a very pleasurable route of administration. If you take it orally and put into capsules the DMT is tasteless. The only downside is the taste of the MAOI tea, but you can mix some apple juice in it and boil it down so its like a mouthful at most. Not so bad if you're not tripping super regularly.

What maoi do you use ?

I have syrian rue seeds in my home. 

[woohoo123]

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

What maoi do you use ?

I have syrian rue seeds in my home. 

Yea I use Syrian rue, you can find some guides online. My tips are 3g is enough, any more and it makes me too nauseous. Don’t use too much water unless you want to drink a glass full of the stuff, it’s the amount of seeds that count not the volume of tea. 
 

also be aware it’s not safe to eat certain foods before or after taking it. 

[James123]

23 hours ago, woohoo123 said:

Yep I forgot to add this in the report, but in this experience I did touch on something similar before I went into being.

That's the last part of the ego / thinker. Therefore, Being "Being" is inevitable.

23 hours ago, woohoo123 said:

Then I realized the very question 'is this a belief?' is itself a construct, with many assumptions behind it. It's a story in itself. The key is not to get wrapped up in the story, but to become aware of the one who is observing. To turn awareness back around and look at who/what is observing. Who is the one looking for answers? That is not belief, that is awareness. To become self aware is to become conscious of God.

Hell yeah. God is Sliness of Sliness. 

[Kairos]

How do y'all buy all these psychedelic stuff .Where I live it's illegal 

Is there still a way to access it ? 

[LambdaDelta]

26 minutes ago, Kairos said:

How do y'all buy all these psychedelic stuff .Where I live it's illegal 

Is there still a way to access it ? 

Sure is, unless you live in the Middle East, SEA and such. DMT is illegal pretty much in the entire world. You can buy some on darknet markets or even extract it yourself. 

[Kairos]

11 minutes ago, LambdaDelta said:

You can buy some on darknet markets or even extract it yourself

Using dark net is also not safe also laws here regarding darknet are harsh .

Wdym extract for yourself ? You know how to do that ? 😂🕴️

Edited Monday at 04:09 PM by Kairos

[LambdaDelta]

5 minutes ago, Kairos said:

Using dark net is also not safe also laws here regarding darknet are harsh .

Wdym extract for yourself ? You know how to do that ? 😂🕴️

Darknet is quite safe if you follow correct opsec procedures, nor does LE usually go after small time buyers. You know your local laws better, but that's usually how it is. In certain ways it's safer than an extraction where you can get chemical burns. I have extracted other substances in the past, it can be quite fun. Don't need to do that for DMT since I can get a pure synthetic version, but there's plenty of guides on DMT-Nexus, using different precursors.
https://wiki.dmt-nexus.me/Category:Extraction_Tek#DMT

[Kairos]

3 minutes ago, LambdaDelta said:

I have extracted other substances in the past, it can be quite fun. Don't need to do that for DMT since I can get a pure synthetic version, but there's plenty of guides on DMT-Nexus, using different precursors.
https://wiki.dmt-nexus.me/Category:Extraction_Tek#DMT

Damn dude 👀 you're cooking huh 

Thanks for the link btw I figure sum out .