Can't fall in love

[patricknotstar]

I feel like after spending so much time in the blackpill community i'm incapable of falling in love. I can see every interaction with a girl as just transactional and how it breaks down into darwinian psychology. It makes me unable to feel anything for the person. Like seeing a magic trick but knowing how it's done.

I used to be an incel ,. I never had any misogynistic views toward women or anything like that. I was just part of that online community. Too shy to ever approach.

Then when I began trying and got into relationships , even a long term one currently. I find myself unable to feel this "Love". I care about my girlfriend as a person, I'm not a sociopath. I always want what's best for people, but this feeling that's portrayed in movies where the guy is in ecstasy and swooning. Yeah I have yet to experience anything remotely like that. 

Edited Saturday at 08:32 AM by patricknotstar

[Jannes]

1 hour ago, patricknotstar said:

Then when I began trying and got into relationships , even a long term one currently. I find myself unable to feel this "Love". I care about my girlfriend as a person, I'm not a sociopath. I always want what's best for people, but this feeling that's portrayed in movies where the guy is in ecstasy and swooning. Yeah I have yet to experience anything remotely like that. 

So you never experienced love even before blackpill? Try to split what is because of blackpill and what has its roots elsewhere. 

While I have a different path as I never swallowed the blackpill - in recent years life experience has blackpilled me a little. Experiencing cold harsh reality can break some sweet illusions. But it reveals what remains solid so invest in that. 

 

Now practically of course you should completely distance yourself from blackpill, it will loose some of its grip on you just over time.

You can also realize that blackpill is just one way to view reality that is incomplete. Analogously Alan Watts made a point of how materialists with their oversimplifying lense of looking at the world put the world down. You know they say that a swarm of birds flying in perfect harmony is nothing more then a mechanical biological process designed for survival and dictated by physical laws. While that has some truth, is that all? Is that the whole picture? Or look at a great sunrise or at a thousand snowflakes falling from the sky and ask yourself if there is something missing if one would to say that this is just a blind mechanical process?

[NoSelfSelf]

Because you dont love yourself all that black pill pushed you away from yourself.You just love her by capacity you love yourself,there is no need to "fall in love"..

[Whitney Edwards]

You need to figure out what you really want and start from there. It could be that you're going through a period of confusion. 

[Sugarcoat]

Not just any mind falls for such content. You must have had low self esteem and maybe paired with being overly logical detached from emotion (even though such black pill thinking usually has emotion behind it but it’s more hidden) to fall for such content and for it too permeate your entire world view. It spoke to your mindset

Edited Saturday at 04:34 PM by Sugarcoat

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mkCrvMPqKQ

https://www.girlschase.com/content/understanding-love-how-it-works-romance-and-relationships

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhWx9lHPjik

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BgL--RLaaQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCcmmjlLx_I

 

Edited Saturday at 04:35 PM by Raze

[Emerald]

On 1/25/2025 at 3:16 AM, patricknotstar said:

I feel like after spending so much time in the blackpill community i'm incapable of falling in love. I can see every interaction with a girl as just transactional and how it breaks down into darwinian psychology. It makes me unable to feel anything for the person. Like seeing a magic trick but knowing how it's done.

I used to be an incel ,. I never had any misogynistic views toward women or anything like that. I was just part of that online community. Too shy to ever approach.

Then when I began trying and got into relationships , even a long term one currently. I find myself unable to feel this "Love". I care about my girlfriend as a person, I'm not a sociopath. I always want what's best for people, but this feeling that's portrayed in movies where the guy is in ecstasy and swooning. Yeah I have yet to experience anything remotely like that. 

The issue is that you're seeing human relationships through the lens of an ideology... but you believe that you're seeing the truth because Social Darwinism has a scientific veneer.

But Social Darwinism is not science. It's a pseudoscientific ideology.

And the more you can deconstruct the Blackpill Social Darwinian ideology, you can allow yourself to love and be loved without this feeling like it's all empty transaction.

So, you actually don't know how the magic trick is done. Your ideology just convinces you that you do.

[NoSelfSelf]

11 hours ago, Emerald said:

The issue is that you're seeing human relationships through the lens of an ideology... but you believe that you're seeing the truth because Social Darwinism has a scientific veneer.

But Social Darwinism is not science. It's a pseudoscientific ideology.

And the more you can deconstruct the Blackpill Social Darwinian ideology, you can allow yourself to love and be loved without this feeling like it's all empty transaction.

So, you actually don't know how the magic trick is done. Your ideology just convinces you that you do.

It is transaction of emotions how tf cant you guys see its all conditional transactions..

[Emerald]

11 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

It is transaction of emotions how tf cant you guys see its all conditional transactions..

There's a transactional element to relationships. But that's not all there is to a relationship.

And if you don't see that, your ideology is clouding you and holding you back from making deep connections with people.

[Atb210201]

Just give it time.

Love will surprise you.

[LastThursday]

Love comes in many forms. Some you may not even recognise yet. Be curious and let yourself be open to them all.