THE BLACK PILL

[ryanajay]

So to keep this simple i'm 23 and because of my struggle with dating in real life this caused me to fall down the redpill rabbit hole. This led to me going deeper and learning about the blackpill and incel culture and this led to me consuming massive amounts of content from various creators to the point where i've been starting to believe this stuff. The thing is i don't want to be this type of person or assosiate with these people however it just feels like maybe for some people it's all real, I'm pretty sure i watched every andrew tate video there is and i feel like this type of content has led me to have a very negative view of the world.

I'm making this post so hopefully you leo can make a video addressing these spaces and talking about a way to get out of it because it seems like once you get in you cant get out and others like me probably have consumed so much of this content it starts to seem real. 

 

So in the future leo plz address the black pill and suggest soulutions on how to get yourslelf out of it, because i notice how not alot of people talk about this.

[Leo Gura]

Yes, it is a big problem and I already have a video planned on this topic.

You need to start to notice the bias, ego, and ideology present in all that content. That is your ticket out of it. You have to deconstruct the ideology. And to do that you need to gain lots of experience socializing with women. The more you socialize the more you will see how false, delusional, and toxic those manosphere ideologies are.

[mmKay]

@ryanajay

Watch this 3 part series:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DEGfopquio&list=PLFfM65xLnO-HMWEI08t_iks5n8n2c2hGC

 

Edited January 24 by mmKay

[krockerman]

Take this from someone who is coming from experince

 
I started taking PUA/game/dating advice since I was 16

Doing 500+ approches and not even getting a kiss untiI I was 21.

Then I turned 23 and Iived abroud. AImost no resuIts untiI for a haIf a year. then aIi of a sudden I started to get more and more girIs, easIy getting make outs in the cIub and just starting to date aIot.

I often started to beIive the bIackpiII etc asweII

The answer is the worId is not bIack and white.

Women are drawn because of vaIue. 

You don't have to be andrew tate you just need to be have a healthy sense of masculinity. Take care of yourseIf, be grounded, become detached and non needy, have a purpose, sociaIize and Iearn how to offer and create vaIue in interactions.

This is your fundementaI vaIue you create

The other form of vaIue is what makes you uniqe, your taIents, personaIity, sense of humor, genunity, taIents or anything you can offer that is uniqe contra generic. this is your uniqe vaIue

Third is how you deliver your vaIue

Game, coId approach, sociaI cirkeIs, cIosing, taking risks. How to convey your vaIue and creating opportunities for interactions.

GirIs stick around because there is a vaIue exchange. Either a cooI IifestyIe, fame, interpersonaI vaIue.

Iooks, fame and status are Iegit ways to attract women but once you have improven them there.

 

Shortcuts: Take a door-to-door saIesjob (you wiII Iearn vaIue exchange first hand, coId approch and taiIored AI simmuIations) that is my tip

 

Edited January 24 by krockerman

[UpperMaster]

I just want to say that I can deeply relate to what you're feeling. It’s tough to even take action because you're constantly bombarded with videos that strongly influence your belief system.

I haven’t fully recovered from the effects of blackpill and redpill ideologies either. I think real recovery only comes after gaining substantial experience (which I don't currently have) that proves how flawed these beliefs can be.

What helped me was the following:

1. Understanding Ideology

Blackpill, in particular, is extremely rooted in confirmation bias. Its proponents actively seek out and highlight anything that aligns with their narrative. They use “studies” to back their claims, but notice this: these studies almost always focus on dating apps (where looks are often the only factor) or rely on poorly designed methodologies.

I remember watching a video where a YouTuber cited a study where women were shown a picture with a character trait written on the back. He used it as “proof” for his ideology. But think about it, can personality and social skills really be communicated through a written word? The study itself was bizarre.

Then, there are legitimate studies that highlight the benefits of looks. Of course, we know that looks are important. But blackpill creators leap from “looks are important” to “looks are the only thing that matters in life,” which is completely absurd.

There’s also research on the reverse halo effect, which demonstrates how a good personality can make someone appear more attractive. And let’s not forget Robert Cialdini’s work in Influence, which shows how psychological tactics and behavior can significantly influence others.

I mention these to encourage you to question blackpill ideas and understand that influencing people requires more than just looks, it also involves actions and behaviors. 

Studies in the description of this video: 

Also you can skim through the book Influence by Robert Cialdini.

 

2. Looking around you in real life

When you attend a college lecture or go out in public, take a moment to observe the people around you. How many of the men in relationships are stereotypical “Chads”? You’ll find that most are not.

Blackpillers often respond by claiming, “Oh, but you don’t know how good the relationship is, its probably bad.” But that’s purely an assumption. They don’t know either.

I’ll share a personal example. A few months ago, I was so entrenched in blackpill thinking that when I saw a close friend of mine, who is objectively unattractive by blackpill standards, probably a sub-5 face confidently pull a stunning, beautiful woman, I dismissed it entirely. He’s well-groomed, has confidence, and knows how to carry himself. Catching myself trying to rationalize this away helped me see how deep I’d fallen into the ideology.

3. Look at people who are doing well that aren't chads

Like the friend I told you about, he is conventionally unattractive but doing well. most people that are in relationships aren't chads. 

I’ve also been watching pickup content on Instagram. While not all of them are great, some have helped break my limiting beliefs about what’s possible. If you’re interested, I can share a couple of examples of people I found particularly helpful.

https://www.instagram.com/dkdannyy/

https://www.instagram.com/itspolokidd/

 

You can also watch YouTubers like "Tykwondoe". He showcases pretty good game I think. If you do watch them, watch videos where they use game. 

 

I really think finding good wings could break my limiting belief aswell. That's what I am going to do some time soon.

 

4. One more thing, completely switch off any blackpill content. This was advice given to me by @mmKay, and it seriously helped.

 

The problem with blackpill isn't just the videos, it's also the comments and the whole community that make you feel stupid for not obliging with the ideology. They shame you by saying that you're "coping" and bully you into swallowing their ideology. 

 

As I said, I am recovering from blackpill and redpill. It is my first ever experience of ideology. I am confident that with a lot of experience and success with woman I can overcome these toxic ideologies. 

Btw I do think looks are important in the sense that they can help a lot I think, but there's a whole lot of other bullshit that comes along with blackpill ideologies. I've seen ugly guys get woman. I know 6'5 chad that got cheated on. There's so much complexity in this. Don't be like me in the past and just dismiss it. 

Actually before I end, I would want to say that I still don't have a lot of experience like many of the other guys here. I'm just explaining what I did to take myself out of the ideology. I don't know with experience how much looks, status or game matter.

 

 

Edited January 25 by UpperMaster

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNcxvh-WdwQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7N-pQh8krs0

https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-disprove-looks-are-pillar-attraction-ideology

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmiNoCV-i84

Edited January 24 by Raze

[Hojo]

Basically take your logic you have and find loop holes that can get you out. Logic has infinite loops holes but makes sense you believing something logically means there is a way out of the logical trap you put yourself in.

[NoSelfSelf]

Lack of self belief is what's opening the door of devil part of the mind,to sink you deeper and deeper.

[Ulax]

@ryanajay Sending you love and wishing you well my dude ❤️.

I think it’s great that you are willing to share where you are at and be open to finding ways to improve yourself 🎉. 

[Whitney Edwards]

If you lack self confidence, women can sense it. 

So you have to kinda believe yourself and built it up. Black pill won't help you with that. 

Much of black pill is fear based and it's always easy to operate on fear. 

So try this experiment - try to not fear in your mind what you are already fearing and see how your environment reacts to that. 

Edited January 25 by Buck Edwards

[Thought Art]

@ryanajay Please don’t post in all caps and change the title.

[ryanajay]

Hey everyone just wanted to say thank you for all your kind replies and will definetly use them in my self improvement journey and @Thought Art sorry i didn't know, not sure how to change it but i won't post in all caps for future posts.

[ryanajay]

On 1/25/2025 at 11:07 AM, Whitney Edwards said:

If you lack self confidence, women can sense it. 

So you have to kinda believe yourself and built it up. Black pill won't help you with that. 

Much of black pill is fear based and it's always easy to operate on fear. 

So try this experiment - try to not fear in your mind what you are already fearing and see how your environment reacts to that. 

I agree i'm going to focus on my self and my business so that i can develope a sense of confidence and compitence. I know this will take a long time however i'm willing to do whatever it takes to improve, so if my 20s a gonna be me focusing on my finances and my self in general hopefully i can start to date in my 30s or late 20s

[Whitney Edwards]

2 minutes ago, ryanajay said:

I agree i'm going to focus on my self and my business so that i can develope a sense of confidence and compitence. I know this will take a long time however i'm willing to do whatever it takes to improve, so if my 20s a gonna be me focusing on my finances and my self in general hopefully i can start to date in my 30s or late 20s

OK. Best. 

[Ramanujan]

Black Pill is toxic . Red Pill is the way to go. MGTOW is also good