Schizophonia’s Journal

[Schizophonia]

Day 40

People think that their personality has been essentially influenced by experiences during childhood, but it is an illusion; Always the same dualistic illusion.
Traumas, or more simply unpleasant experiences (as pleasant, experiences in general) are only the manifestation, demonstration, corroboration of a belief system already installed upstream; Like everything else in the maya.
Any attempt to explain a phenomenon is an illusion.

 

[Moon]

19 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

Day 40

People think that their personality has been essentially influenced by experiences during childhood, but it is an illusion; Always the same dualistic illusion.

True. Why two people experiencing the same “trauma” can involve 1 person being affected by it for life and the other who couldn’t care less.

It’s often about how much negative charge we associate with such events. Which is amplified by replaying the events with negative emotions and thoughts, added stories and identifying as the victim of it. 

[Schizophonia]

2 hours ago, Moon said:

True. Why two people experiencing the same “trauma” can involve 1 person being affected by it for life and the other who couldn’t care less.

It’s often about how much negative charge we associate with such events. Which is amplified by replaying the events with negative emotions and thoughts, added stories and identifying as the victim of it. 

Coucou, thanks for your intervention.

 

Are you interested in the topic?

[Schizophonia]

Day 41

I started listening to music again, but it's really not good; Firstly, obviously it reduces your cognitive abilities and your motivation, by accustoming your brain to enjoy a continuous flow of information.
Secondly because like any addiction, it is fundamentally about letting yourself go to your usual egotistical echo chamber.
My introducer to psychoanalysis, Richard Abibon, would find his definition of the death drive there; Endlessly recreating the trauma (PTSD or simply ruminations in the neurotic, immobilizing behavior in general) to find yourself as a subject, paradoxically it would therefore be a narcissistic approach.

I listen to music to force a state, a frequency; Even negative (anger, sadness, ruminations in general) to put myself as an actor; And conversely, I refuse here and there to be more proactive and rational, because that would make me disappear as an ego and that is what death fundamentally is.

The goal, the game of this planet (or at least of the organic beings who live on Gaia, as the perched would say lol) is not enjoyment, it is essentially a Russian doll in a fractal model of freedom of experience and humans play the game of survival so much that it gives these wacky configurations.
All life is wacky, completely twisted; the human ego is a Gordian knot and ultimately the humans who will be able to change will be those who are ready to die.

 

[The Crocodile]

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

Day 41

I started listening to music again, but it's really not good; Firstly, obviously it reduces your cognitive abilities and your motivation, by accustoming your brain to enjoy a continuous flow of information.

What insane ridiculous sophistry. You have no idea what you're talking about.

[RawJudah]

Just now, The Crocodile said:

What insane ridiculous sophistry. You have no idea what you're talking about.

I was thinking that. Deconstructing music isn’t even worth it. Deconstruct anything else but not music. lol!

[Schizophonia]

On 06/03/2025 at 11:11 PM, The Crocodile said:

What insane ridiculous sophistry. You have no idea what you're talking about.

You criticized me for my vibe once but yours is turbo estrogenic, it looks like a woman on her period.
There is nothing to answer to begging the question aggressively thrown by a guy; Yes i assume music is probably bad for cognition, it is an unnatural stimulation, it is not very different than watching youtube shorts.

In fact, I'm not even trying to theorize anything, it's an empirical observation. There was a point where I was watching Leo and Longevity and he thought the same thing about the music.

On 06/03/2025 at 11:13 PM, RawJudah said:

I was thinking that. Deconstructing music isn’t even worth it. Deconstruct anything else but not music. lol!

You listen to music if you want, you do what you want, everyone has their vices, but even if I am relatively lax, I want to look at things for what they are; I am not demagogic.  

Edited 17 hours ago by Schizophonia

[RawJudah]

@Schizophonia maybe not overanalyse everything dude. 

[Schizophonia]

9 minutes ago, RawJudah said:

@Schizophonia maybe not overanalyse everything dude. 

It’s what i like to do.

[Schizophonia]

Day 42

I saw a good friend today; we spent 2 hours talking, chilling smoking cigarettes and drinking coke.
I'm an introvert but it's always cool to socialize, do stuff like that.

I should have more nights out remaking the world while smoking and drinking alcohol lol.

[Moon]

On 06/03/2025 at 7:47 PM, Schizophonia said:

Coucou, thanks for your intervention.

 

Are you interested in the topic?

Yes honestly I’ve recently done a lot of work shedding my attachment to my past experiences that’s been hindering me, that’s why it resonated 😅

 

The music thing imo if it feels like a lower pleasure addiction then it’s better to have time off if it’s a distraction. But personally now I use it as a tool of expression to dance and sing which brings me higher joy not from a place of attachment. Everyone has different journeys and interests so do what resonates 🤷‍♀️

[Schizophonia]

3 hours ago, Moon said:

Yes honestly I’ve recently done a lot of work shedding my attachment to my past experiences that’s been hindering me, that’s why it resonated 😅

You ruminate ? 

I spent my life doing this to maintain my character, because somewhere I had the belief that being more peaceful made me less effective in obtaining energy (and therefore surviving) than scaring others, impressing them with my self-denial in the face of pain or this kind of delusions lol.

But the growing evidence is that I wanted a pleasant life, not a neurotic one, and so this persona naturally ended up dissolving.

3 hours ago, Moon said:

The music thing imo if it feels like a lower pleasure addiction then it’s better to have time off if it’s a distraction. But personally now I use it as a tool of expression to dance and sing

Ahah, what do you dance/sing to?

3 hours ago, Moon said:

which brings me higher joy not from a place of attachment. Everyone has different journeys and interests so do what resonates 🤷‍♀️

Yes it enriches my brain fog which I prefer to avoid.

[Schizophonia]

Day 43

I want to have several children, preferably quite early.
What interests me in my relationships with my children is that they respect my law (have at least decent grades, tidy their room, do household chores, contribute to the bills once they are old enough to work, be polite...) willingly or not in exchange for having a roof over their heads, food, and present parenting; I think it's very cool and important to do activities with your children, and help them in their progress.
Then what they can do outside, especially if it's a man, is not my problem.

I believe it is important that children are framed; For everyone's comfort and because if they are not framed it is tacitly giving them an importance (and a weight of importance) that they do not have and it is quite consensual that it is an ideal configuration for mental illnesses.

[Sugarcoat]

5 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Day 43

I want to have several children, preferably quite early.
What interests me in my relationships with my children is that they respect my law (have at least decent grades, tidy their room, do household chores, contribute to the bills once they are old enough to work, be polite...) willingly or not in exchange for having a roof over their heads, food, and present parenting; I think it's very cool and important to do activities with your children, and help them in their progress.
Then what they can do outside, especially if it's a man, is not my problem.

I believe it is important that children are framed; For everyone's comfort and because if they are not framed it is tacitly giving them an importance (and a weight of importance) that they do not have and it is quite consensual that it is an ideal configuration for mental illnesses.

Admit you just wanna spread your chad genes, wanna make sure your lineage survives

 

Jokes aside I have a thing against parents who make their children contribute to paying the bill

 

[Moon]

33 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

You ruminate ? 

In the past yes but more recently it was holding onto belief systems (energetic blocks) from the past that no longer served me. For example, being the character with childhood family issues. Tried to kill off this old version as much as possible basically 😂 so I don’t identify with that person anymore. 

33 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

somewhere I had the belief that being more peaceful made me less effective in obtaining energy (and therefore surviving) than scaring others, impressing them with my self-denial in the face of pain or this kind of delusions lol.

Interesting because the more in tune you are with source, energy is abundant and can be channelled - for your physical vitality, creatively and so on.

33 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

But the growing evidence is that I wanted a pleasant life, not a neurotic one, and so this persona naturally ended up dissolving.

Good work 🙌

33 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Ahah, what do you dance/sing to?

Whatever is in my recent liked songs- different genres, some oldies some new😅 Usually to start the day off in good spirits or during the day for fun/being in a higher vibration.

Quote

Yes it enriches my brain fog which I prefer to avoid.

Fair enough, my vice used to be social media in the past, but now not so much 😄

Edited 17 hours ago by Moon

[Schizophonia]

37 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Admit you just wanna spread your chad genes, wanna make sure your lineage survives

Lol.

No it's not a question of genes, but of taking care of one's family.😉

37 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Jokes aside I have a thing against parents who make their children contribute to paying the bill

Why ? 

Well I would never put my children or people I love outside, obviously, but I consider it normal for my children to participate if they earn money and live with me.

Children also enjoy giving to their parents.

[Schizophonia]

1 hour ago, Moon said:

In the past yes but more recently it was holding onto belief systems (energetic blocks) from the past that no longer served me. For example, being the character with childhood family issues. Tried to kill off this old version as much as possible basically 😂 so I don’t identify with that person anymore. 

What were these family issues? If it's not too personal.

 

1 hour ago, Moon said:

Interesting because the more in tune you are with source, energy is abundant and can be channelled - for your physical vitality, creatively and so on.

Yet another spiritual paradigm/egregor 😅

1 hour ago, Moon said:

Good work 🙌

Thanks.

1 hour ago, Moon said:

Whatever is in my recent liked songs- different genres, some oldies some new😅

Dw i whippin a lot too eheh. 

1 hour ago, Moon said:

Usually to start the day off in good spirits or during the day for fun/being in a higher vibration.

I looked up the first two out of curiosity on youtube and it's kind of rap/pop; It's cool, I like it. I didn't know any of the singers except "Drake" by name. 

1 hour ago, Moon said:

Fair enough, my vice used to be social media in the past, but now not so much 😄

Me too if we forget the almost 6000 posts on actualize. 😂

Which ones, Instagram? Twitter?

[Sugarcoat]

13 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

Lol.

No it's not a question of genes, but of taking care of one's family.😉

Basically you’re normal

13 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

Why ? 

Well I would never put my children or people I love outside, obviously, but I consider it normal for my children to participate if they earn money and live with me.

Children also enjoy giving to their parents.

I like for my children to save a lot of money so they can eventually move out. Depends on the salary too like sometimes it’s low and minimum wage then i wouldn’t take money but if it’s a good salary then maybe yes 

[Schizophonia]

56 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Basically you’re normal

Yes

56 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

I like for my children to save a lot of money so they can eventually move out. Depends on the salary too like sometimes it’s low and minimum wage then i wouldn’t take money but if it’s a good salary then maybe yes 

I'll see, it's in several decades eheh.

 

[Sugarcoat]

15 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

several decades

When do you wanna have kids?